Only man worth stripping for (Matey Bubble Bath)

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Product:	Matey Bubble Bath
Date:	31/01/02 (743 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: smell, gentle and feel, bottle

Disadvantages: none

I’d been seeing my new boyfriend about a month when he went into my en-suite (yes, yes, I know I am at uni, I am not meant to have a posh en-suite room, I am meant to share a fowl horrible bathroom with 20 rugby men that vomit into the shower and make the whole place stink…but PAH!!! That’s the beauty of having won a merit award, a scholarship for university, money, an unconditional offer and first choice of rooms!!! Right now I have that out of my system I will carry on…) and when he returned he was holding my parrot shaped bottle of Mr Matey that had been perched decoratively on the edge of my corner shelves over the sink…for a few seconds I considered dying of embarrassment, then I thought I might laugh it off and not mention it again…but then I thought Sod it!!! He’s my boyfriend and well by this time I had him round the little finger, and if he didn’t like my Mr Matey he would have to go. (Just to clarify this by “he would have to go” I meant the boyfriend not my Mr Matey), I explained to my beloved, that Mr Matey and I were old friends, that we had been together since the 1980s and although I had, had other boyfriends and other bubbles baths along the way my love for Matey would never die. I’m not sure my darling was impressed by this answer but I honestly didn’t care!! :op

Ok so maybe I don’t even have a bath at university but that doesn’t make Mr Matey redundant now does it!

Firstly the bottles make lovely ornaments for bathrooms, they come in all different shapes and sizes (although they are all the same capacity) they make an excellent addition to any room, not to mention they make excellent skittles when empty. I have fond childhood memories (wow now doesn’t that make me sound old) of playing skittles with old Matey bottles, in the garden with my big sister, I used to have a really nice pink bottle that was a princess, and a king and an evil dark
green one, I don’t remember what that one was but I remember not liking it at all!!!! One comment I would like to make is that the bottles are not of the quality they used to be in my day (Let’s play guess my age from that!!! Actually I am 18, not 80) the pictures used to be actually printed on the bottle these days, the pattern is on a plastic cover around the bottle…actually maybe the quality is just as good, just different because they now have shaped bottles and loads and loads of pretty colours rather than simply the bottle colour with white lines…so yes in conclusion I would say that the bottles are excellent and I can guarantee any child would be pleased to have a nice bottle of Matey by their bath side, much more exciting than your average old bottle of bubble bath. They may even be exciting enough to get scummy little beasts into the bath (anyone unaware about my love for small children need to know this is affectionate by my standards!) you never know.

More importantly may be the contents, and this is why I have Mr Matey at uni, lots and lots of bubbles!!! I love bubbles I am a big soft kid at heart, I spend ages in the shower making bubbles even blowing bubbles in the sink using my hands in like a ring, creating a film of bubble bath and blowing, ok I know I am sad and maybe I should get out more, I agree, ok I’ll go to a nightclub instead tomorrow night! It’s good, stuff it smells good, I’m not sure what it smells of, it isn’t flowers, or fruit, or forest pine, or anything like that, it is indescribable but I do assure you it is pleasant! As for colour well that varies, my Mr Matey at home, is a Christmas Mr Matey (bought for me as a Christmas gift by my boyfriend as a Mickey take, however I was actually quite pleased with it) and this is extra special bubble bath because it starts off as a red liquid and then changes to blue…it even changes the colour of the water to blue…I was well i
mpressed with this so I am sure children will be even more impressed  It is a quite thick, may be even viscous liquid, excellent on sponges and great to shave with (ok sorry I’m sure most 5 year olds don’t shave but as a member of the university swimming club I do!!!) I hardly ever cut myself (Aren’t I a clever girl!)

As for Mr Matey being suitable for children it is in everyway, it doesn’t hurt if you get it in your eyes (I know this because I quite frequently do playing with my contact lenses while I am in the shower) and it is soft and gentle on your skin, I love the damned stuff, it doesn’t taste very nice though, kind of soapy and bubbly to state the obvious (and yes I did try it just to check, well this is my first opinion I had to make it detailed!!! It didn’t kill me either which is good, maybe now I should write a little disclaimer about if you drink it and die it isn’t my fault, I only said it didn’t kill me, my dad is a philosophy tutor, he would argue that just because he feels pain when he puts his hand in a flame, it doesn’t necessarily mean that I would also feel pain with my hand in the same flame!!! This is the same, just because it didn’t kill me….)

It’s cracking stuff, long lasting bubbles, and loads of them, smells nice, is soft on the skin, is harmless to children (unless a great amount is ingested I guess), doesn’t hurt if the morons tip it in their eyes (I should really never have kids should I?!) and the bottles and colours are incentives to buy…

Mr Matey is also quite cheap (sorry babes I meant that in a nice way not like he is a slapper or anything although he enjoys caressing naked bodies) varies depending on shops but where I live you can pick him up for about 99p, he always seems to be on offer somewhere, I think his usual price is about £1.99 or a bit less perhaps, and he is well worth it, Mr Matey doesn’t cont
ain, mango, or Tea Tree oil, he doesn’t claim to revive your love life or treat aching muscles, but he makes a lot of bubbles and allowing a long relaxing bath and the bubbles last through out , which works for me every time. Or at uni, a bubbly shower and a quick shave before lectures, which ever way he is still the man for me…If I ever am stupid enough to have kids, it wont be for a very long time, after I have made it as a computer programmer and have retired on my millions, (millionaire by mid 20s, tour the world, marry, have a nice quiet marriage for a few years, lots of long hot holidays, yeah I reckon I have about 30 years before kids…38 that too old? Oh well I’ll just have to marry a toy boy he can play with them if I am too old (idle) or just am too busy being pampered) I will insist that they use Mr Matey and love him as much as I do…

I think my boyfriend is getting jealous actually, he told me him and Matey were going to have a falling out soon,  maybe it’s because Mr Matey is the only man worth taking my clothes off for!! Sorry babes!!!

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