| Product: |
Mum Anti-Perspirant Deodorant |
| Date: |
04/07/01 (838 review reads) |
| Rating: |
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Advantages: Cheap and effective
Disadvantages: Takes ages to dry
What has happened to unperfumed deodorant? I haven’t been able to find my usual product (Right Guard Anti-Perspirant Deodorant Aerosol) in the shops recently. They have brought out a new, repackaged range, and I think the unperfumed one must have been discontinued. It’s certainly not available around here. (Update 27/7/01 - It's now back on sale.) (Update 7/11/01 - Whoops! It's gone again!)
Then I noticed Mum Anti-Perspirant Deodorant. It is a roll-on type, available unperfumed, and is extremely good value. It currently costs a bargain 65p in Superdrug, but is normally around 98p.
So I bought it, tried it and yes, it does the job just as well as any of the more expensive brands. The unperfumed variety is packaged in a nondescript grey and white bottle, so is also fine for fellas. The roller ball is neat, and the small bottle is made of plastic, so would be ideal for taking on holiday. It is alcohol-free, so there’s no stinging when you put it onto freshly shaved armpits
There are number of different varieties available; Cool Blue, Ocean Breeze, Fresh Pink, Sunburst and Fresh Peach, as well as unperfumed, so there’s plenty of choice.
But ..., there is one big disadvantage. It takes AGES to dry. You need to leave it to dry for TEN minutes (unless you don’t mind squelchy armpits, and marked clothes). That is a long time when you’re in a hurry in the morning. Ten minutes per day is about five hours a month, more if you use it before going out in the evening. What a waste of time.
And then I got to thinking ... There are probably lots of useful things you could do while you’re waiting. And so, in the interests of the Dooyoo Community, I did some research, and have come up with some things to do while your deodorant is drying.
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1 Eat spaghetti two pieces at a time
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The spaghetti has to be the
extra long type, and please don’t use bolognaise sauce because the splatter effect will make a terrible mess. (Garlic, and olive oil with just a small amount of freshly chopped mixed herbs is fine.) Just pinch the end of one piece between your fingers, one in each hand, stretch up high and slurp. I would advise not eating spaghetti every morning, because it will spoil your appetite for toast and marmalade.
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2 Semaphore
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Did you ever belong to the Scouts or Girl Guides? If you did you will remember semaphore. It is a method of using your arms to signal letters of the alphabet from a long way off. There are only some letters you can use because your arms need to be at waist level or higher. The letters you can use are J, P, Q, R, T, U and Y, which gives limited scope for messages.
Use your imagination and pretend that you are a character in a Western. Our hero, John Wayne, is on trial and things are not looking good for him. From across the other side of the court room, you are there ready to reassure him. “Purty jury” you signal. You have instantly inspired him! (You will need to practise the phrase a couple of times to get those armpits dry.)
If you want to look up exactly how to do these semaphore letters, try going to www.google.com and searching on the words “semaphore”, “scout” and “card”.
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3 Yoga
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There are several yoga positions which keep your arms suitably upright. I suggest “The Tree of Life”. Step by step instructions on how to do this can be found by going to www.askjeeves.co.uk and asking “How do I assume the tree pose in yoga?”. This will take you to the relevant www.ehow.com page. The lady illustrating the pose has her arms very high and is therefore unlikely to have problems with drying deodorant.
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4 The Mex
ican Wave
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If you’re a fan of football, you will know what this is. You start in the sitting position, then raise both arms high into the air, stand up, lower your arms and sit down again. If all the spectators make this movement, each person moving slightly later than the person next to them, the “wave” is formed. I don’t understand the attractions of football and its attendant pastimes, but I am told that this exercise enhances the stadium atmosphere. I believe it can also make grown men cry (or is that because Chelsea lost again?). It is a very good exercise for the purposes of deodorant-drying.
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5 Morris dancing
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Take one handkerchief in each hand, hold by one corner, and raise them as high as you can. Then shake the handkerchiefs hard. Authenticity demands bells on your legs, but that might be a bit much first thing in the morning, and could interfere with Radio 4, so perhaps you should just pretend to jingle. An excellent website with many pictorial examples is www.morrisdancing.org.
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6 Lie back and think of England
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Freshly washed, fragrant and relaxed, go back to bed, arms stretched back behind your head and think of England. I always like to start at Kent and work my way westwards; Sussex, Hampshire (don’t forget the Isle of Wight), Dorset, Devon, Cornwall (including all the knobbly bits) and so on ... You’ve got the idea now. A good atlas would be a practical aide memoire for this tip.
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7 Pretend you’re the Queen
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Imagine you’re in a horse-drawn golden carriage. Your subjects are lining the streets. “Hoorah, hoorah!”, they cry. “Long live Queen Elli!” (substitute your name here). Graciously, and slowly (but not too slowly or that deodorant won’t dry), you
wave to the spectators. For this tip, you need to be a left-handed Queen for half of the time, to ensure that the drying effect of the wave is maximised.
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8 Paint a stripy ceiling
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If you paint just a little bit every morning, while your deodorant is drying, you will have a freshly decorated ceiling within a couple of weeks. The correct method is to paint the whole length of the ceiling, but only a couple of brush widths (you won’t have time for any more). When you continue the next day, you will find the fresh paint producing a definite stripe next to the dried paint from the day before. This will give a classy Regency effect.
I originally had ten tips but two were rejected during the testing process. You may care to carry on the field testing, so here are the details:
(9) kite-flying - this makes our dog bark too much and disturbs the neighbours
(10) practising the Gay Gordons - you need a partner for this and my husband refused point-blank
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Update: I have received extra suggestions for making use of deodorant-drying time, and as I am having so much fun imagining you lot trying them out (!), I decided to add to the list (credits in brackets).
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11 Practise the arm movements for Agadoo (peel.rebekah)
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Just to remind you: think party mood, streamers, Butlins, Spain, 70s (you may have
to concentrate hard if it’s early in the morning).
“Aga-do-do-do
Push pineapple, shake a tree”
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12 Handstands (Celandine)
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Unless you are very athletic, and have a superb sense of balance, you will need a blank piece of wall to lean your feet on. Please w
atch out for any mirrors or pictures, or you may have a nasty accident.
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13 Water your hanging baskets
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If you have hanging baskets outside the front door, please ensure you open the door just a crack first, and check for strangers outside. Postmen are normally very understanding. Just give him a smile and say something like “I know it looks odd,
watering hanging baskets in the nude, but it’s just that my deodorant takes so long
to dry”.
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14 French plait your hair (cheekychicken)
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This is a useful tip for those of you with long hair. Those with short hair could perhaps put their hair into little bunches all over. Those with no hair, just give your
scalp a good massage.
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15 Flamenco dancing (cheekychicken)
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Obviously you can’t wear Spanish clothes, because you will be in the nude, but I think wearing the correct footwear is crucial (an attractive range of flamenco shoes is available from www.andalucia.com/flamenco). Castanets are also essential.
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16 Clean the windows (SueMagee)
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Top halves of windows only, please, or your arms will not be in the correct position. Do the bottom halves after breakfast.
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17 Flicking cobwebs with a teatowel (cheekychicken)
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Don’t use a plain feather duster for this. I tried it, and bits of cobweb float down and
stick to any partially-dried deodorant. The teatowel is a must because the cobwebs are flicked sideways.
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18 Pretend you’re Julie Andrews (a “continental” tip at Malu’s requ
est)
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Fling your arms aloft and let rip “The hills are alive .... with the sound of music...with
songs they have sung ... for a thousand years”. It may be difficult for you to get into the right frame of mind for this one if you live in a built-up area in the middle of a city. Just close your eyes, imagine that fresh Austrian mountain air, and you’ll manage.
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19 Practise flying (cheekychicken)
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The best method is to gather up your kids and all pretend to be Superman together. A red cloak adds ambience. Don’t forget to stretch those arms out. At Christmas time you could imagine you’re Raymond Briggs’ character “The Snowman” (I expect he has real problems in drying his deodorant on account of him never being able to use a hair dryer).
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20 Read DooYoo opinions (majorb)
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This is an excellent suggestion, as the internet is fairly quiet first thing in the morning. In order to let the air get to those armpits, though, you do need to get rid of your chair. Just sit on the floor and reach up to your keyboard. Do tilt the monitor downwards, though. You don’t want to strain your eyes, do you?
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21 Indulge in a good nag (avitallly)
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One hand should be high up on the waist, and the other should point and waggle at the culprits. Two or three really good grievances for each armpit should get that deodorant nice and dry. (You may have to save up some telling-offs from the day before.)
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22 Practise hang-gliding
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Don’t bother with this one if you live in a bungalow. You also need large windows so that you can leap out, complete with hang-gliding gear. You might need to pre-warn the neighbo
urs that you’ve recently taken up a new hobby.
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23 Do a Wonder Woman impression (quentin)
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How good are you at spinning around on the spot? You will get up a real speed if you sprinkle talcum powder onto a wooden or vinyl floor, and stretch your arms really high.
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24 Play snooker
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It may be worth furnishing one of your bedrooms as a games room in order to try this. If you’ve only a small room available you might need to use an extra short cue. This tip takes a bit longer than some of the others to dry your deodorant, because you can only dry one armpit at a time, but who knows, you may end up competing at the Crucible Theatre in Sheffield!
Elli
PS If you use a hair dryer on a cool setting to dry your deodorant, it only takes 2 minutes, but it’s not as much fun!
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