If It Wisna For Ma Wallys (Steradent Tablets)

Name: kenjohn

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Product:	Steradent Tablets
Date:	17/05/01 (918 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Lovely clean pearly whites (false teeth)

Disadvantages: You must be kidding!!!

~ ~ Remember the wee song made famous by the “Big Yin” (Billy Connolly) a few years back.
“If it wisna for ma wallys, where would I be, etc”
Oh sorry, it was actually wellies and not wallies.
Never mind, it gave me a good title for the op.

~ ~ What the H**L is he talking about, I can almost hear you ask?
Well, I wear a full set of dentures! Yep, the dreaded “wallys”.
And have done so since I had a rather violent argument with a very hard plastic steering wheel at the age of twenty one, (this was before seatbelts) which left my own teeth scattered all over the roads of Surrey.

~ ~ Now for those of you who still have your own set of nashers, let me say that having a set of removables has both its advantages and drawbacks.
The biggest advantage is that I no longer have to fear and dread a visit to the torture chamber (sorry, I meant Dentist’s Surgery) every so often to allow them to poke and prod around inside my mouth with their devilish and fiendish instruments.
The single biggest drawback is the fact that your whole face tends to “collapse” when you take them out, leaving you looking like a sideshow at the circus.

~ ~ And then there is the problem of keeping the damn things clean!!
All you people with your own teeth probably don’t even realise the amount of muck and gunge that builds up on your teeth during the course of a normal day.
If you did, then I can assure you that the very prevalent pastime of “necking” or “french kissing” would probably very quickly lose its popularity
You have plaque, tartar and stains caused by the food we eat, the nicotine stains from smoking, and the tannin in the tea and coffee that most of us drink.
Unlike all you “normal” folks, I am faced with the nasty prospect of viewing this horrible spectacle every evening before I go to bed.

~ ~ Ordinary toothpaste j
ust doesn’t cut it for me, and neither do the so-called “stronger” varieties developed especially for smokers.
Nope, the only thing that does the job and gets the old pearlies back into first class order is a product called Steradent Extra Strength Denture Tablets distributed by Reckitt and Colman Products in Hull. (They’re actually manufactured in Germany)
These tablets are round, slightly larger than a ten pence piece, and when immersed in hot water dissolve at a quite alarming rate and with great vigour.
The idea is that you get yourself a “denture bath”, and place your beloved nashers in the same every evening before retiring.
The chemicals in the water then react with the filthy build up on your teeth, and the following morning they re-emerge from their overnight soaking restored to their original pristine condition, and ready to face yet another day of dreadful abuse.

~ ~ This product actually comes in a variety of guises.
The product is still sold in its traditional form that it came in for years, a powder, and I have used this from time to time. It can be hard judging just how much powder to use though. Too much, and you have a “foam bath” on your hands. Too little, and it doesn’t clean your teeth properly.
Then there are the “Original” tablets and the “Extra Strength” that I use.
The only difference that I can make out is that the “Extra Strength” have an additional additive called “fruit acids”, although what exactly this is or what it is supposed to do I really don’t know. They also cost about 20p more than the Original.
I do find the Extra Strength do make a better job of cleaning my teeth though.

~ ~ A new addition to the range is called “Bracemate”.
This is for people who don’t have a full set of dentures, but have a partial plate, or brace, made out of metal. The ordinary t
ablets seemingly make a right old mess of these metal plates, hence the new product.
In fact, don’t ask me what the ingredients of this product are at all, as despite an extensive search of the Web, I cannot seem to elicit this information from anywhere.
(Perhaps some wise dooyoo guru will be able to provide me with a clue?!?!)

~ ~ I do know that this product must be highly corrosive however, as it comes with all sorts of dire warnings on the tube, telling you that on no account are the tablets to be placed in the mouth, (I know I’m a mad cabbie, but I’m not that daft!!) and that you should rinse your hands immediately if they get splashed.
You also have to thoroughly rinse and brush the dentures before you place them back in your mouth.
Also, you are not supposed to use boiling water straight from the kettle, although to be totally honest I have done this on occasion when I’ve needed a “rush” job done.
It isn’t recommended however, and the makers advise that you use only water that is “as hot as you can touch”, so if you try the boiling water trick and it “melts” your teeth, then don’t be coming moaning to me!!
A ten-minute soaking is supposed to be enough to clean your average set of dentures.
Now either I haven’t got an average set of dentures, or this claim from the manufacturer is a load of old cobblers, as I find that an overnight soak is definitely required to achieve the required results.
Ten minutes is grand though if all you want to do is “freshen up” your teeth if you are going out for the night.

~ ~ The tablets that I use come in a metal tube of thirty, so that a tube lasts you for the month.
The price varies from shop to shop, but is usually about the £1.35 mark for the powder, about £1.30 for the “Original”, and about £1.50 for the “Extra Strength”.
The “Bracemate” is mo
re expensive at about the £3.50 mark for 32 tablets.
(All prices in Sterling for the benefit of you Sassenachs)

~ ~ If you have no personal use for this product, I don’t recommend that you take the drastic step of having all your own teeth removed in order to try it out.
If however, you are like me, and want to have your dentures in tip-top condition, then these tablets are the best I’ve found.

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