Toothpaste (Toothpaste in General)

Member Name: singingbanana

Product:	Toothpaste in General
Date:	27/04/01 (215 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Stops your teeth from falling out.

Disadvantages: So does putty.

Toothpaste.

Say goodbye to dental drudgery. Long gone are the days when the only way to keep your teeth clean was with sandpaper and Ajax, and the only way to them falling out was with blu-tac. Today's modern toothpastes are the convenient and painless way to oral hygiene happiness.

The history of the toothpaste is a long and interesting one, so we won't go into it here. It was first invented by miners in the goldrush of eighteen hundred and nineteen seventy-three, who discovered the acid used to dissolve mineral ore could also be used to dissolve food from their mouths after a meal, and also had a pleasing minty taste. Unfortunately the acid would also have a nasty habit of dissolving their teeth as well.

These days of course, when it comes to toothpaste, there's more choice than an Amsterdam brothel. And picking the right toothpaste for you can be, quite literally, the difference between life and death. With a range of formats such as pump dispenser and classic tube, and enough colours to match any bathroom tiles, the world of toothpaste fashion and aquafresh chic can be a confusing one.

First we can not stress enough how important it is that your toothpaste should contain at least 0.32% Sodium Fluoride, as anything less than this will be a false economy. You may be tempted to purchase three crates of Signal toothpaste from a market stall while on holiday abroad, but remember this is most likely counterfeit goods. Please remember to check the stallholder's breath if you are unsure.

We also know how kids love to show-off their brand names in the school yard, and if you can afford to give your children Ribena Toothkind, please remember not to give your children anything more than a pea-sized amount.

So our best buy recommendation for a family on a budget would have to be Sainsbury's own brand. I know that may shock some of the more traditional connoisseur out there who consider anything othe
r than established toothpastes to be crass and vulgar, but this really is quite special. It comes in a delicate nouvou vert, but it's not just a pretty paste, with a consistency that stands proud on your brush and a subtle mintyness that goes well with any meal.

So what next in toothpaste technology. Well, there are rumours of a smoky bacon flavour in the pipeline. But some say that with the advent of accessories such as "Floss" that it has all gone too far, and that the art of tooth cleaning has been taken over by cynical capitalism. Whereas we don't necessarily agree with that, we do believe you should wait before spending your money to see if these new developments take off.

And remember - never swallow. Advice that is as true in life as it is in dental care.

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