Perky Breasts and Pearly Whites (Toothpaste in General)

Member Name: cbpotts

Product:	Toothpaste in General
Date:	04/12/01 (2455 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: stunning smile

Disadvantages: does anyone really like going to the dentist?

Catherine Zeta-Douglas has done it. So has Meg Ryan. Even Kathy Lee Gifford’s aren't her own. Think I'm talking about boob jobs? Well, Tom Cruise, Ben Affleck and David Bowie have had done it too so you’d best hope that this opinion is not about perky breasts but pearly whites.

We are obsessed with beautiful smiles and white teeth. Can we blame the media for this fascination with sparkling incisors? After all, isn't it that industry that has spawned Paula Abdul, Posh Spice, Kate Moss, Kate Beckinsale, and Calista Flockhart as the body standard for us to follow, even if it means starving ourselves or throwing up after meals? Unfortunately, no, we can’t. Chinese history claims the first dentist, Huang-Ti, who cured mouth pain by sticking gold and silver needles into various parts of the gums and jaw. His, and other theories led to the development of dental creams that we now know as toothpaste.

Unfortunately, while it's incredibly cheap to stop eating or stick a finger down one's throat to emulate Kate and Calista, it's just a tad more expensive to fix up pearly whites that have been neglected all one’s life. While I would love to have a gleaming smile like Zeta-Douglas, I can't afford the $20,000 ($900 per tooth) that it would cost to have a porcelain veneer done. Oh, true, I could opt for the plastic veneer which is a mere $150/tooth, but that would only last me 5-7 years (as opposed to the porcelain's 15 year lifespan).

Even more important than having white, gleaming teeth is having teeth at all. While it may have been fine for Joan Crawford to remove some of her back teeth to make her cheekbones more prominent, I fully intend to keep all mine (in my mouth). And, I'd like to keep them as white as they are naturally. Should I do like Katharine Hepburn and brush them with Ivory Soap? Which toothpaste is the best one out there? Can I really stain my teeth? Are you surpr
ised that I’m actually going to answer these questions? No, I didn’t think so.

First off, listen up parents. I can't do anything about this since I've already gone through childhood a LOOONG time ago and don't have a child of my own, but you can help you kids get on the road to a shiny smile early by knowing about a couple of things that can stain their adult teeth before they even have them. The first are antibiotics (tetracycline) if administered at critical times during pregnancy or childhood. Second are severe attacks of certain childhood infections including whooping cough and measles, which can produce discolored patches on the teeth. Finally, and most ironically, too much fluoride in toothpaste used by children before age six can cause flourosis, a discoloring of adult teeth. The staining caused by antibiotics and childhood infections can be prevented by the use of fluoride; and flourosis can be prevented by making sure children brush with a pea-sized amount of fluoride toothpaste when they do brush.

Now that that's out of the way, let's move on to us older folks who are resigned to live with the teeth that God and our parents gave us. But before addressing toothpaste, the ultimate goal of this op, I'd like to share other ways to assure a brilliant smile, though prying that tiny piece of lettuce from between your teeth is up to you and the person across the table from you. Speaking of such things, have you even gone through an entire evening that began with a meal out only to return home and find a smidge of parsley between your teeth? Can we make a dooyoo pact right here and say that it is required for anyone who sees such an offense to let the offendee know that their smile's been compromised? Doo I hear an amen?

Back to food and teeth issues. We all are aware that coffee, tea and cigarettes can cause staining, so I won't bother mentioning those. Other things to consider include
red wine (drink white or champagne instead), red pasta sauces, balsamic vinegar, dark soups, grape juice and cranberry juice. Before getting up from the table, reconsider that offending piece of parsley. While usually added simply for garnish, parsley contains a high amount of chlorophyll, which combats bad breath. So, eat up, but since parsley feels the obligation to garnish do that tooth check before leaving.

The two F's, flossing and fluoride are words we hear from our dentists at each visit (I don't really have to mention visiting the dentist regularly, do I?). While getting fluoride is relatively easy these days since most public drinking water and toothpastes have added it, over the counter products provide extra protection. I can't say too much about flossing because the last time I used my dental floss was to repair a rip along the back of an old sofa (it works wonders as a heavy duty thread, for those who wonder). While statistics show that 63% of Americans say they do not floss as often as they should, I'm pretty certain that "as often as they should" means that they...we...ok, ok, I...floss for the three days prior to my dental visit.

Toothpaste has been the essential item in everyone's medicine cabinet and morning/evening regime for centuries. If you've ever watched Cleopatra with Elizabeth Taylor, you already know that the Egyptians brushed their teeth religiously. While they didn't have the toothbrush yet, they did have toothpaste. It was not approved by the American Dental Association. This could be because it contained the powdered ashes of hooves of oxen, myrrh, powdered and burned eggshells and pumice. Over time the recipe for toothpaste changed, but was no more palatable. The Persians came up with a formula that included dried animal parts, herbs, honey and minerals. To strengthen their teeth they included the burnt shells of snails and oysters.

Thank goodness for Britain,
which introduced the first toothpowder in the late eighteenth century. Even with these advances, dentists and doctors who created the powder included brick dust, china and cuttlefish to serve as abrasives to remove plaque, but which also proved harmful to the teeth. As time went on, stronchium was used to strengthen the teeth and reduce sensitivity. Late in the eighteenth century, borax was included to provide that foamy thing that makes us all feel like the toothpaste is actually working at cleaning. Even as late as during World War II, most toothpastes used soap even though it was known to have little affect on actual tooth cleaning.

Today, the main active ingredients in most toothpastes are sodium lauryl sulphate, sodium ricinoleate and fluoride. Of course, in addition to the basic clean your teeth toothpastes, you can also get those which whiten them, protect from cavities, control tartar build-up, contain baking soda and peroxide, protect against sensitivity, drive your car and earn you money. Well, the last two may not be true, but I had to see if you're still awake.

When it all comes down to it, why do we bother using toothpaste to brush our teeth? Well, in the UK, trials that lasted for three years showed that dental decay was reduced by about one third with regular use of toothpaste containing fluoride. Not convinced? Then here's another statistic for you. The Academy of General Dentistry conducted a poll and asked what is least attractive about a co-worker. Forty-two percent said, "not smiling" and 32 percent followed up with "bad breath."

One last note before I let you go. That tube of toothpaste in your cabinet has a goldmine of other uses. Consider these:

Jennifer Love Hewitt puts toothpaste on her pimples at night because it kills the bacteria staphylococcus.

Billy Idol used toothpaste to spike his hair in the early days.

A mixture of white toothpaste and toi
let paper is an excellent paste with which to fill nail holes in walls before moving out of that apartment.

To shine a diamond or other precious stone (except opals), add a little toothpaste to an old toothbrush and scrub away.


Toothpaste, it's not just for dental hygiene anymore.

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