What A Bloody Pong! (Magic Tree Car Air Freshener)

Member Name: kenjohn

Product:	Magic Tree Car Air Freshener
Date:	24/01/03 (1022 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Not a lot!

Disadvantages: Pongs like the devil, You can't get rid of the horrible smell

~ ~ OK. Picture the scene if you will.
It's mid-July 2002 and I'm on my way from Dublin up to Fairyhouse Racecourse in Co. Meath (about 20 miles from Dublin) with four young ones (two males and two females) in the taxi who are heading for the HUGE open-air concert (Witnness) that was held there last summer. (over 40,000 peeps)
They are all (how will I put this politely?) slightly the 'worse for wear', but since I am getting €75 for the relatively short trip, I'm not over concerned, and it's not my business anyway! Mind you, I should have sussed they were trouble when one of the girls jumped out of the taxi while we were stuck in a traffic jam on the motorway, and promptly dropped her drawers to take a leak on the hard shoulder, in full view of all the other cars!! (Even 'mad cabbies' can get it wrong sometimes!!)
When they go to disembark I spot they've been drinking cans of Miller beer in the back seat. I hadn't picked up on it earlier, as I have a security barrier fitted that obscures my view of the rear seat somewhat.
Problem is, they've also been spilling the bloody stuff, and there are now two very large puddles of lager pooling in my rear seats and on the floor. It's not as bad as it sounds, as I have leather upholstery that doesn't absorb liquids in the same way as fabric, and cleans off with a wipe. (This was my old taxi, a Nissan Bluebird Executive. My new cab, a Nissan Maxima has cloth seats)
But I am well p**s *d off, to put it mildly, and immediately demand the €25 'soiling charge' that we cabbies are entitled to charge when someone messes up our vehicle. (it's not nearly enough, by the way!)
In fairness, they paid up as good as gold and with no argument, and went on their merry way, and I immediately set about repairing the damage.
Now the seats cleaned up just fine, and what dampness was left didn't take long to dry off, as it was a very w
arm and sunny day.
The problem was the damned smell!!
There was simply no way I was going to be able to take another fare until I had either got rid of it or disguised it somehow, so I hotfooted it for the nearest service station to try to find a remedy.

~ ~ Up to the accessory display I go, and immediately spot a whole rack of air fresheners called "Magic Tree". (so called because it's actually shaped like a tree folks) Now I've experienced these things in the past in other people's cars, and to be honest, I always found the scent both slightly sickly and overpowering. But desperate circumstances call for desperate remedies, so I grabbed what I thought would be the most pleasant of the various fragrances on offer, "Forest Pine". Not only that, I went for the 'extra strong' large version.
It tells you on the transparent plastic pack that you're supposed to reveal a little bit of the 'tree' on a weekly basis, in order to make it last longer. But being the 'mad cabbie', I decide to go the whole hog, and blast the smell of the stale booze with the whole shooting match. Yep. You got it in one, folks! I ripped off all the wrapping, and stuck the thing up in the back window.
BAD MISTAKE!! I should have guessed when I went back into the garage to freshen up, and couldn't get the stench of the blasted thing off my hands, despite a very vigorous assault with soap and water.
And when I returned to the old 'joe maxi' and jumped into the driver's seat, it was like entering the boudoir of Mata Hari herself. I joke you not!! The smell of this stuff was so overpowering that I was actually finding it hard to breathe, and even after quickly removing the offending article, and placing it UNDERNEATH the carpet in the boot, the stench was still almost as bad.
I know what you're all going to say! That I should have followed the instructions, and only revealed a little
of the tree, as stated in the instructions. But I honestly don't think it would have made that much of a difference, this thing ponged so much!

~ ~ By the following Monday evening, more than two full days after the incident, and despite the demon 'magic tree' now being well and truly exorcised from my cab, (I tossed it away) the sweet, sickly smell still remained. It wasn't quite as bad, mind you, as I'd been driving around with all the windows rolled down, but I was still getting the odd grimace from my passengers now and then as they settled down in the back seat.
So does the 'magic tree' air freshener get a vote of approval from the 'mad cabbie'. Well, what do you think?? To be honest, I think I'd rather have put up with the stink of the stale beer!

~ ~ For the sake of thoroughness I suppose I should tell you that you can buy this air freshener in most garages, service stations, and car accessory outlets. And that it comes in more than thirty different aromas, and two different sizes. The "extra strong, extra large" variety that I was crazy enough to purchase, and the smaller standard version.
I even went as far as to do a wee bit of research on your behalf on the Web, and was able to discover a few of the other scents. There's spice, vanilla, flower fresh, new car scent and bouquet, and forest fresh, as well as a whole host of others. And it would appear to be an American product that's manufactured by a company called 'Car Fresheners Incorporated'.
I paid €2.25 for the extra large size, but if you think for one minute that I intend to buy any of their other varieties or sizes purely for the sake of research then you're very much mistaken. And try as I may I can't seem to source the price of the smaller size on the Internet! So if you are actually insane enough to want to buy one of these stink bombs and pollute your car with its stench, then you
9;re just going to have to find out the price for yourself.
As far as the 'mad cabbie' is concerned, I never want to see (or smell) one of these damned things ever again!!

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PS. I believe the going price for the smaller size in the UK is £1.29 each, or 2 for £1.99. (Thanks to a dooyoo buddy for that info)
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A Euro is approximately 65 pence Sterling

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Copyright KenJ

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