Small but perfectly formed (Lotus Elise 2000)

Member Name: sweary

Product:	Lotus Elise 2000
Date:	29/11/03 (645 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Myriad; looks fantastic, a scream to drive, all that suede upholstery

Disadvantages: none..., nope..., can't think of anything

When I was 9 I saw my first "GROWN UP" film at the Cinema - the Spy Who Loved Me. When I got home I wrote "LOTUS" on an old biscuit tin and started putting pennies in it.

Originally I wanted the early 70s SE2 sprint which was 20 grand.....

Spool forward 25 years or so and along comes the Elise, a car that could hardly have been more perfectly suited to my needs if they'd built it to my specifications and called it the Lotus Sweary.... and finally I own one. All women should buy this car, words cannot describe what fantastic fun it is!

Here's Why.

PRINCIPLES

I like things that are properly designed with their specific function in mind, the Lotus Elise is entirely conceived to deliver maximum enjoyment to people who like driving. I had to drive about 1000 miles a week when I first got mine and I loved every minute of it.

It's so good they don't have to distract you from poor handling or performance with superfluous "extras" like seat warmers, electric windows, or air con. The only electrical extras I want from a car are a stereo, internal light, headlights, windscreen wipers, indicators, fog and hazard lights and a heater, the rest is marketing puff. I can't see the attraction in going out of my way to get piles or travellers crotch, I can take the lid off if I want to stay cool and as for opening the windows.... well, I find my arms quite useful for that and if I have an accident during which the electics fail, I can still get out, even if the door won't open.

FUEL CONSUMPTION AND GENERAL ECO~FRIENDLINESS

I can get around 25 - 30 mpg (based on how many 7 gallon tanks full it used to take me to drive the 220 mile round trip from Ely to Birmingham and back) - doubtless you can get more if you are able to achieve a reasonably consistent number of revs and drive smoothly, by merely accelerating to overtake, for example rather than gearing down a

nd trying to pass at escape velocity. But I can't do that.

Since it's not having to lug an extra half ton of electrical components, fascia and other plastic gubbins from 0 to 60 with you it also means you can get there in under 10 seconds (5.6 actually) without having to fit it with a tractor engine.

BUILD QUALITY AND RELIABILITY

Is it reliable? Well.... the only point of reference I have is a succession of 25 year old triumphs so in my book... yes. Anyway, most people have mobile phones these days so if it breaks down you just call the AA don't you? There isn't a spare tyre by the way, they're for puffs.

AESTHETICS

It looks like sex on a stick - no matter the depths to which your self esteem may plummet you cannot feel like anything other than a goddess when you are driving this car.

All that bare metal and suede.... grrrr easy tiger.

The speedo is made by a pukka supplier of club motorsport telemetry equipment - Stack.

At night, when you turn the lights on, the speedo goes blue and the pointers on the dial go flourescent pink - definitely a woman thing this one.

It has glassed in headlights which follow the line and shape of the body, like an e-type - which I have always loved - probably another woman thing there....

It has all you need for a comfortable drive, including adjustable back supports, but nothing more.

The badge is yellow, when you come up behind people on the dual carriageway who are sitting in the fast lane going 60 they think it's a Ferrari, move in and let you pass.

I drive like a Londoner, a recipe for disaster outside London, but since I've been driving a Lotus I have experienced a significant drop in the incidents of road rage directed at me. In fact, there's only been one in two years. There used to be several a week. I don't know if you've ever driven a Triumph Spitfire at 120 whilst tryin
g to
escape the clutches of an angry fist-shaking maniac in an Audi TT who wants to kill you for having the audacity to overtake him but I can assure you it's grim. To me, this alone is a compelling enough reason for me to drive Lotuses for the rest of my life.

THE IMPORTANT STUFF

It isn't just its looks. Unlike the e-type, for example, which looks drop dead gorgeous but takes longer than an oil tanker to stop and handles like a water bed on casters it not only looks good, it is the most responsive, beautifully balanced exciting thing to drive!

The handling is excellent - I can take bends at 60 which I used to have to take at 40 - the steering is exact and incredibly responsive - you feel every bump in the road - but not at the expense of comfort and without disruption to the car's straight line progress. The gearbox is, again, beautifully exact, perfect, you have to work very hard to actually miss a gear. The brakes, no matter what they say about not having abs ARE good.

When you go fast it literally growls. When I first finished running it in I kept thinking there was some big bike behind me and pulling in to let it go by, eventually I realised - with considerable glee I might add - that the "bike" was the sound of my own car's engine!

Ok, so I have always wanted a Lotus, I might be biased but the fact is, it's a design classic, not just in looks but in fulfillment of the brief "sports car". You could race it, as is, how fantastic is that?

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