This is a protest against the recent spate of reviews about Cadbury's Wispa on DooYoo. At the time of writing, there are already 46 reviews on DooYoo and I think it's high time we all put an end to this madness.

Cadbury's stopped producing the Wispa bar in 2003. I only know because of the countless reviews I've read on this site in recent days. At the time, Wispa did not leave a great void in my life. Its absence wasn't noted. Let's be honest now, come on, nobody noticed, nobody cared. We all got on with our daily business - working, going out, having little treats. Some of us even had a little bit of the other every now and then (an Aero, that is; a very poor substitute for a Wispa bar.) Nonetheless, we all managed to get through life without obsessing about one particularly smooth, bubbly and melt-in-your-mouth chocolate bar - didn't we?!

There was a small hiatus last year when Cadburys relaunched the Wispa as a 'limited edition.' Like everybody else, I was whipped into a frenzy by the thought that there was a limited and finite number of Wispas set loose in the world and felt that it was my public duty to consume as many as I could find (and could afford.) Once they were gone, they were gone. We would be able to rest easy again and go about day to day life.

Then, over the past few weeks I spotted signs that something was afoot. Billboard posters saying 'I know a secret' and 'Have you heard? It's back.' That was okay. Subtle advertising goes straight over my head. I could cope with that. I am a strong woman. I've experienced labour twice. I am in control.

But....I hadn't taken into consideration the constant deluge of reviews on DooYoo. Repeated mentions of the velvety smooth texture and the satisfying nature of biting into an untouched Wispa, looking at the teethmarks and feeling the chocolate slowly melt in your mouth. It's like choco-porn. Constant reminders that this product has been a forbidden luxury for the best part of five years.

Some reviewers have even taunted us by mentioning unnecessary details such as the number of calories hidden within the depths of such an innocent looking chocolate bar. Don't they realise that the bubbles in the chocolate cancel out any calories within? Surely anything that light and bubbly can't contain any calories, can it? Even if there are a few calories that sneak in amidst the bubbles, I'm sure that they are cancelled out by running to the local shop to buy your Wispa, rather than walking. Think calorie-offsetting, just like carbon-offsetting but tastier.

Please, please, please, can we all call an end to reviews of the Wispa from now on? I don't need to read any more about them. I don't want to know that Wispas have been seen on sale for as much as 65p in a branch of WHSmiths at Waverley Train Station. (It would have choked me to eat one at that price!) I certainly don't need to know that they are currently on offer at three bars for £1 in Iceland. Nor do I wish to discover that they sell for a mere 36p each over at Home Bargains. Yes - we all know that the pleasure increases as the price lowers. But please, shush! If you must keep going on about them, can't you at least Wispa?!