“ Brand: Nestlé. „
Caramac Kit-Kat? It's CARAMAC Kit-Kat? Well that explains a very great deal, becasuse I thought they were selling a caramEL flavoured version of the popular snack bar when I bought one yesterday, and thus was sorely disappointed with my purchase as it contained no caramel whatsoever - just this thick layer of ghastly, sickly-sweet cheap-tasting yellowish, slightly gritty - yet at the same time strangely, almost waxy-textured - stuff. That'll be the Caramac I was eating, then.
I was swayed by advertising, I admit it. I saw a poster for this product for the first time by the side of the road yesterday. It showed what I assumed to be a caramel-flavoured Kit-Kat and that seemed to me to be a really good idea. I was expecting the new chocolate bar to contain layers of chewy caramel interspersed between the usual wafers you get in a Kit-Kat - something like a Tunnock's Caramel Log only with better, thicker, chunky chocolate. I still think that'd have been brilliant.
I saw another advert for the new Kit-Kats in Morrisons' and with a closer look, was slightly concerned seeing the product depicted in cross-section, because even on the poster the thick layer of yellow stuff that it contains (ie, the Caramac) did not look good to eat. Bought one anyway, mind you. 42p it cost, for a 'chunky' Kat-Kat style bar, which I thought was a bit on the steep side - especially after eating it, when I realized I'd completely wasted my money as I got no enjoyment whatsoever from eating this horrid abberation disguising itself as confectionery.
Caramac, for anyone lucky enough not to be familiar with the product, is sweet yellowy-coloured chocolate-textured stuff, that has a lot in common with the 'white chocolate' mice you used to be able to buy loose for 2p each in newsagents' shops. Caramac is a product out of exactly the same stable as 2p 'chocolate' mice in my book, which is to say that there's no reason for anyone who isn't a small child to eat it because it is completely rubbish. And I don't care if you ARE a drug-addict suffering from 'the munchies'; nor is Caramac consumption excusable even if you are figuratively taking a nostalgic stroll down through the memories of your 1980s youth; Caramac is not socially acceptable stuff in any sane person's book.
What the heck were Nestle thinking, putting Caramac on their Kit-Kats? What'll they bring out next? What other dreadful marriages of a so-so chocolate bar with all the left-over rejects of the processed food industry will Kit-Kat devise as their encore to this latest horror, and duly trot on sale to a gullible general public? Kit-Kats dipped in Bovril? Or smeared all over in Shippam's Meat Paste, perhaps?
The blasted chunky Caramac Kit-Kat doesn't even have those handy gradations you usually get on chunky Kit-Kats - the ones that allow you to break the chocolate bar into more easily handle-able bits. Caramac Kit-Kat all comes in just the one big, smooth, nauseating square-sided / angled log. And that just makes things even worse, if you can believe it.
The yellow wrapper said it all, I had intended to purchase the normal version, but it was a dull wet day in the city and a hard rain fell. I didn't often make detours but the weather had forced a change in plan, I don't even know if my regular confectioner stocks this variation.
The rain wasn't for letting up and some roads were to hazardous to contemplate, the small quaint shop was lit well and was easy to find in the dreariness. It was adequately stocked except of course for the purchase I had intended to buy. Anyhow I decided that perhaps a change was as good as a rest so I went ahead and bought the unusual version.
Molly was the kind of gal who was adventurous so I knew when I reached the office we were going to share in the expectation. There was nothing between Molly and me we was just friends you know the pally kind of relationship.
The rain was persistent as I parked beneath the soft lamplight, the office was already open and I could see Molly's silhouette against the yellow tint of the window. The kettle was on, she always put the kettle on around this time. That was some silhouette I wondered for a moment ..no we was just pals best keep it that way.
As I entered the office Molly gave me my usual warm greeting and passed me a cup of fresh coffee. We sat and chatted for a spell and then I revealed the secret. The wrapper's nearly the same said Molly just a different colour. She wasn't the brightest crayon in the box but she was good for business. I opened the yellow wrapper to find no great surprises four off cream coloured fingers linked together by a thin line of similar coloured chocolate. I had the strangest feeling of having been here before.
I broke off one of the fingers and passed in across the table to Molly, and then broke another off for myself. They were kinda long fingers, long in like pianists. Long and thin. They were of trapezium shape when I looked at one from the end. The chocolate covering was quite thick, thicker than I imagined, and I could feel my stomach beckon on some nourishment. OK maybes chocolate in the morning ain't such a good idea but business had been slack and needs must.
There were several layers of wafer in each finger and they were bonded together with a nice cream filling. I ain't no biscuit expert but the wafer was crisp very crisp like a new snow on a winter's morning. I could taste vanilla at least that's was what I figured it was.
Meanwhile Molly was dipping hers in her coffee and licking off the chocolate flavoured covering, she sure seemed to be having fun, so I decided what the heck. The hot coffee made the chocolate soft and warm just like Molly. It was deliciously different my senses were in overdrive. It was warm and creamy with a caramally hint, (hints were something few and far between in this game,) and for some weird reason it was making my coffee taste better to. Molly was making some strange noises, but she was certainly enjoying herself. Hey the dame deserved a break she'd had a tough life.
The other two fingers met the same fate, as me and Moll scoffed them eagerly, the office had a warm feeling and the outside rain was a distant memory. I can remember thinking that this had been better than my usual version and that if Molly were to agree it could become a more permanent fixture. Hey but I didn't wanta go ruffling any feathers, you just can't do that is this kind of business. My 40p had been well spent and it had given Molly a little happiness. I'd enjoyed my little break, but my mind drifted back to the silhouette, and I thought if caramel flavoured chocolate and wafer can make it together maybe me and Molly have got a chance, but hey that's another story.
I'm sure they do it just to annoy me! Taking a couple of perfectly good, perfectly profitable chocolate bars and combining them to produce some sort of bastardised conglomeration that is neither one thing nor the other. Listen Nestle, Cadbury et al - If I get the urge for some Kit Kat and Caramac then I will simply buy a bar of each!
You don't see other food manufacturers combining foods in this manner; I've yet to be served a pie that is one half cheese and onion and one half cherry, it's just not needed! So incensed was I when I stumbled upon the Kit Kat Caramac (henceforth to be known as KKC) that it took all of my strength and self control to pop two bars into my shopping basket and part with the 39p price needed to procure each bar for later consumption.
A little later, and I had calmed down sufficiently to examine the KKC bars at closer quarters. The red wrapper is still prominent but some golden yellow has crept on at each end and the word "Caramac" is scrawled in a jaunty font. The rear of the wrapper is given over to Nutritional, Ingredient and consumer information as is common with most food produce, with each four finger 48g bar notching up a not unreasonable 259 calories. Of more concern however is the fact that 14 of the 48g are fat! That means that over one finger of the four is pure unadulterated fat, two thirds of which are saturates!
A look at the ingredients does little to appease me either with the two most prominent being sugar and that fat. Unusually for a chocolate bar there are no warnings about the possibility of the bar containing nuts although those who have an allergy to milk and lactose are advised to steer well clear. Finally, an address is given along with a quality and trust assurance so that anyone who is less than pleased with their bar can put pen to paper.
Enough of this procrastination then, let's get the wrapper off and look at this hybrid. Tearing open the foil wrapper (what happened to the paper sheath and silver foil under wrapping?) releases a rather pleasant toffee chocolate scent. This cannot be right! This is meant to be a disgusting tasting and smelling chocolate bar! Another sniff and I have to say my mouth is salivating in anticipation, oh dear, I cannot like the KKC bar can I? The bar itself is set in the traditional Kit Kat four finger format but the big difference here is that the covering is a toffee brown colour, the scent is even more appealing close up so I delay no longer and take a hearty bite determined not to enjoy the experience at all ..
.but enjoy it I did!
The wafer of the KKC is delightfully crisp but the real boon of the bar is the Caramac coating in place of milk chocolate - it is gorgeous. A distinct toffee fudge type flavour gradually envelopes the taste buds as the coating melts in the heat of your mouth. The wafer is a delicious after thought that you find in your mouth when you finish sucking the Caramac, and it crunches well under pressure. The two constituents do work well together though as I found out with a second bite which I chewed up as a whole; the sweetness of the Caramac sits nicely with the almost savoury taste of the wafer with each part not trying to drown out the other.
Of course it is impossible to have a kit kat in your hands and not eat at least some of it by nibbling the chocolate off first, so in time honoured tradition I set about the Caramac coating with my teeth while leaving the wafer until last. The Caramac is easily dislodged and melts in the mouth easily with no wafer to hold it in shape. The wafer sans Caramac coating is still a delight to chew on and leaves you wanting more.
I do have to say though that after eating the two four finger bars I do feel a little sick, but that is no doubt more to do with my piggery than the kit kats themselves. Amazing at it may be after my early determination to dislike these bars I think I actually prefer them to original kit kats. There is something slightly decadent about them, sort of a luxurious aura masquerading in a Caramac coat. If only all chocolate bar hybrids worked as well! The full five stars from me.
You remember the old song? Kit Kat Caramac give the dog a bone (that was it no?) Five fingers of loveliness coated in sweet sweet caramac. Get them before they're gone.