Product Type: Ritter Chocolate
Newest Review: ... you're the kind of '80% cocoa solids' purist type of loony then it may not be quite up to the par. They are honest folk at Ritter though,... more
To your lederhosen I will say no, but to your chocolate? Oh JAH!
Ritter Sport Chocolate
Member Name: larlipop
Ritter Sport Chocolate
Advantages: We and the Germans live in the chocolate happy home, join us won't you?
Disadvantages: Hmm..you might not be able to contain yourself, and become porky?
I have long held concern for the German peeps. I mean, they are a little nuts aren't they? Let's not dally around the fact. For example, they think leather trousers (lederhosen) are acceptable casualwear. Really. That alone doesn't bode well where their mental state is concerned. And, German ladies find it reasonable, enjoyable even displaying hairy...lady parts at any available oppurtunity, with flagrant disregard to those around them who may be of a nervous disposition (they do! I have seen it myself). Also, while I'm being abusive, what is with the language? I suppose it does hold a certain angry charm, but really, they say things like "mannschaft" and "funkelnagelneu" (yeah, I know some German people!) and don't even slightly titter...it's like they're playing a hugely elaborate and long-standing practical joke on the rest of the world, but no. Seems they are quite serious.
And yet, I adore the Germans. I would clasp them all tightly to my bosom if I only could, and that is for one reason and one reason alone. RITTER SPORT CHOCOLATE! They are the creators of the some of the most addictive and most creative chocolate bars ever to grace the planet, and is my numero uno in chocolate land. Yep, more than Cadbury, Galaxy..the blasphemy!
Frustratingly, of the hugely varied portfolio of chocolate Ritter create we get an extremely measly selection here in the UK, and as such I have often resorted to ordering online/stocking whenever abroad to keep myself sane. I haven't sampled all the Ritter varieties, but let me tell you it is one of my main aims in life to do so (such aspirational ambitions I have, ma&pa would be proud!)
It is indeed mass-produced chocolate, but before you get your hoity-toits on it should be noted that this is mass-produced chocolate of an extremely high standard (and we need only look to the likes of Lindt to gage just how fine mass-produced chocolate can be). Comparative at least to what we are accustomed to in dear Blighty. Germans, well Europe in general actually, have some stricter guidelines relating to what can be marketed as chocolate (don't ask me what they are exactly though, I'm not the freaking chocolate oracle!...yet) and therefore mass-produced chocolate tends to be of a higher standard anyways. Good for them! How sophistacted.
Specifically to Ritter, the chocolate used is fantastic. The white is sweet, vanilla-ry heaven, but not harshly sweet. The milk is rich, creamy perfection, with a good cocoa-hit to it and a luxurious melty texture. I probably haven't tried enough of the dark to give a good opinion on it, but I must admit if you're the kind of '80% cocoa solids' purist type of loony then it may not be quite up to the par. They are honest folk at Ritter though, you will know if the chocolate is going to be of the Bournville-esque variety because it will state "plain chocolate" instead of dark (or "halfbitter" to use correct terms), again I'm thinking it goes back to that chocolate-policing they've got going on over there. It's perfect for me though, I don't enjoy bitter darks so this is kind of like eating an extra-chocolatey milk chocolate. Vair gut.
Have I rambled enough yet? Probably, but I shan't let that stop me.
So the bars mainly come in 100g blocks (there are also mini assortments, and a few varieties in 250g blocks), and I hate to be a girl about it, but they look sooo cute. Each is in a neat and tidy 4x4 square shape, somehow more pleasing to the eye than those wontan rectangles you often find, so that is sure to please you lovers of symmetry out there (don't be shy y'all!). They all have jaunty coloured wrappers, with consistent logo-ing and whatnot but in an array of colours to differentiate between flavours.
To avoid you all smothering yourselves and/or nearby loved ones with boredom, I shall breifly explain the flavours I have tried to give you the general gist. I'm going to be a cliche female and add calorie content per 100g too, just to ruin your fun. I hope you appreciate how organised I am being with this ;)
Starting with the bars you will likely find in UK (Tesco or Waitrose is your best bet, they'll be around the £1 mark):
MILK WHOLE HAZELNUT (552 cals)
This is a fresh and crunchy delight! These babies are absolutely packed with beautifully flavoursome and toasty hazelnuts, satisfyingly crunchy yet yielding when munched into. Mixed with the sweet and creamy chocolate, it's kind of like eating nutella in its purist form. A simple treat, nuts+chocolate is a tried and true combination, but this has just been executed perfectly.
This one also comes in white and dark chocolate versions, none of which I've sampled, so you'll just have to shut your eyes and pretend.
MARZIPAN (484 cals)
Ooh yeah baby, this is where it's at. Clearly marzipan is a love or hate thing, and for the lovers this bar is the chocolate equivalant of heroin. The smooth, lightly bitter (but still creamily sweet) halfbitter chocolate with the grainy, nutty-buttery marzipan is just gorgeous.
PEPPERMINT (488 cals)
I haven't tried this one, due to my personal belief that mint in chocolate is an abomination and MUST BE STOPPED but I have heard it is an enjoyable experience by those strange mint-lovers. Dark chocolate with a fondant minty filling, this (apparantely) is like an extra delicious, super-chunky aftereight. Refreshing, was another word being thrown around. Whatever, you're all weird.
BUTTER BISCUIT (556 cals)
The last in the measly UK range. But y'know what they say, save the best til last! I initially thought this sounded rather dull. I mean, biscuit, woohoo I can have biscuit any ole time of day, my cupboard practically gives birth to biscuits. But this bar is crazyyy good. A whole, buttery and crisp biscuit resides within the bar (yet it's still easy to snap into chunks), which is then topped off by a thick layer of the softest, creamiest, most velvety cocoa cream, and then smothered in a huge chunky amount of sweet, sweet melty milk chocolate. The biscuit somehow enhances the chocolate, it seems extra buttery and rich and contrasts with the crunch of the biscuit to perfection. The biscuit is no bland filler either, if left to 'melt', or disintigrate in the mouth you get it's comforting, wheaty-bakey taste. It was a (quite unexpected) rich and intoxicating mix. I was blase before I tried it, now it is one of my top faves. This bar is epic. You cannot resist its charm, so do not try!
Other flavours, that the swines won't let us have in the UK:
YOGHURT (569 cals)
Yes, this really is yoghurt and chocolate! Calm yourselves, it is actually brilliant. Sweet, creamy chocolate that thickly coats the tongue swiftly followed by cooling, lightly sour yoghurt creme is a hell of a combination, and so mouth-watering. The dense yoghurt layer is silky smooth, and contrasts with the milky, thick chocolate so well. I am in love. Another favourite!
STRAWBERRY YOGHURT (564 cals)
Those crazy kats! Strawberry yoghurt! How awesomally awesome is that?! Sweet and slightly tangy strawberry-yoghurtiness encased in milk chocolate= mega addiction. The yoghurt layer has extra-nibbly bits of freeze-dried strawberry and whispers of crispy rice to give a delicate little texture. Super sweet and satisfying.
Ritter are so extreme and next level, they also release limited edition 'seasonal' varieties of fruity-yoghurt chocolates, such as blueberry, peach and mango, raspberry etc etc. Kids today, eh?
CORNFLAKE (525 cals)
Oh the genius! Everyone will be familiar with puffed rice in chocolate, but this is just super. The cornflakes add a denser, crunchier experience than those pansy puffed crispies, and an almost nutty, malty flavour to the thick creamy chocolate. Imagine those crispy cornflake cakes you used to make in your youth, imagine it on steroids and imagine your child-like sense of wonder maginfied by ten. It's basically the perfect comfort food.
CAPPUCCINO (574 cals)
Thick, truffley and buttery cappuccino filling resides within the delicious milk chocolate shell, ready to ooze seductively on your tongue as you let it gentley melt. This one is so rich and creamy, completely decadant.
PRALINE (544 cals)
I fully endorse nut pastes. If you are a nut paste, you will go far and succeed in life. This bar is stuffed with it. The chocolate and hazelnut goodness melt together in glorious fashion, creating a seamless melty, soft taste experience. A little sticky, a lot rich and super-satisfing. For those who enjoy eating pure nutella spread with a spoon (I know you're out there! Don't be ashamed!) this is one you simply must try.
Thus concludes all the flavours I have personal experience of. But there is yet more! I know! When will the madness cease?! These include:
Dark and Extra dark chocolate
Milk and Alpine milk chocolate
Dark mousse a la chocolat
Raisin and hazelnut
Along with seasonal editions, such as 'spekulatius' (traditional German cinnamon-y, gingery biscuit), some boozy ones like orange liquer truffle and Williams-Birne truffle, 'olympic' editions (I know, blimey) such as honey nut yoghurt, maple and walnut, espresso crunch. And yet more that my tiny mind has not yet fathomed/comprehended so far.
Now that is some serious variety. Tell me you're not impressed! I am in a state of continual awe.
Now I obviously cannot comment on the flavours I haven't tried (yet, damn it, give me time!) but I can vouch for the ones I have and they have all been absolutley supreme. Quality, it seems, is consistent across the board, and I'm fairly sure there will be at least one variety you will want to harbour in your nest of life. If not, then frankly you are deranged and should be flogged in the public square until you realise the awesomeness that is Ritter Sport.
So, in sum, this chocolate is amazing. If you have yet to try a Ritter, then by gum what are you waiting for?
As previously stated, some enlightened supermarkets stock a limited range, but I have heard of random newsagents or individual shops selling them so be alert at all times, you may be rewarded. If not, have a looksee on the internet, there are quite a few reputable sites that will ship some ritter-goodness your way for a reasonable price.
P.S. I hope I haven't offended any German people with my light mocking, I love you all really!
Summary: vair, vair and thrice vair gut
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