I have the world's worst baby, and after my extremely patient mum handed him back with a sigh of relief the other day it was made official. You see, David doesn't need anything like the amount of sleep that most four month olds need - and when he's awake he's bellowing. I think he's an demon.

This isn't just a random moan, it's the reason I splashed out £23 on this Anti-Gravity Firming Eye Lift from Clinique on the recommendation of the oompa loompa behind the counter. I rarely buy Clinique but as there was a decent freebie with purchase offer on I decided to go for it. My problem is that I'm so ridiculously tired from broken nights and having to get up early to get the other three shoo-ed out of the door to school/nursery that my eyes are really starting to feel the strain.

I have pretty good skin, this isn't a boast it's just the way it is. I've never had problems with the skin around my eyes and even when the worse for wear through drink it's been commented that I still look wide awake (even if I don't feel it) due to the tight skin and lack of lines. I'm 34 (for another few days!) and throughout the sleepless nights of my other three babies I could still snatch enough winks for it not to affect my appearance, but things are very different with demon-babe.

So the Eye Lift. Bah, waste of money, don't even bother. If anything it made my eyes look worse, I should have stuck to a couple of cold teabags and the inevitability of the fact that eventually I will sleep again. Maybe.

The main problem is that this cream is too thick, it's just impossible to apply properly. As I'm sure most of you know, to get the most out of any eye product you need to dab tiny amounts on the skin around your eyes and keep dabbing until as much of the product as possible is absorbed. You can't do that with this due to the thick (almost clay-like) consistency, you need to scoop a small amount up on your finger and draaaaaaag it across your skin. This is ridiculous as the skin underneath anyones eyes (let alone a knackered-type like myself) is extremely thin so trying to apply such a heavy cream actually CAUSES small lines to appear, which is obviously the total opposite of the effect I was looking for.

If you stick with it (and I find warming it slightly in my fingertips before application can help slightly) the results are, well, negligible really. There is a strange tightness to my skin after use, which stops at just the right side of unpleasant, and this does make me feel like the bags I've been sporting for the past few months are reducing. They're not, the cream just makes you think this is the case. Thank god Cliniques claim of a plumping effect was utter guff as the last thing I want at the moment is plump bags. Lines were increased due to the pressure I had to put on my skin to apply the cream and to add insult to injury, once applied the cream just kinda 'sits' there under my eyes in a greasy looking slick. Vile.

Another thing I noticed was that I was getting a few spots starting to show their heads where I had used the cream, this just screams to me that the formulation is just too heavy for my skin - and considering it's supposed to be suitable for all skin types I don't think that point bodes well for many women who may think about trying it.

I took it back. I ended up shouting at the oompa loompa until she refunded my money, I'm one of those people who really couldn't give a stuff about creating a scene so was absolutely prepared the wreck the joint in order to get what I wanted. Actually to begin with I'd have been happy with an exchange (choosing a different product, obviously) but when Oompa decided to start arguing it was like a red rag to a bull. I think I stopped short of swearing at her, but by that point the red mist had descended and I can't quite remember.

Anyways, I got my money back and gave Oompa the finger on my way out. Oh dear, now I DO remember swearing at her. See how tired I am?