A Moan about Home (Home)

Member Name: sparkle18

Product:	Home
Date:	19/03/01 (152 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Stunning design; a few good ideas

Disadvantages: Read the op!

After being leered at by greasy middle-aged men at Equinox, Leicester Square, I decided to try out Home- I had been assured it was an altogether more classy establishment. Hmmm.....

Queued up for what seemed like ages, until finally, we arrived at the fron of the queue only to be greeted by a pretentious, jumped-up twat, who patronisingly told us it was a "fetish night" and, did we mind about it? After assuring him that no, we definitely didn't mind, we made our way past numerous household appliances, up a huge escalator to the main entrance. So far, so good.

After paying our £15 our whatever it was, we went into the largest room, expecting to be swamped with rubber-clad doms adorned with piercings and brandishing instruments of torture. And, er, it wasn't. In fact, the only thing remotely "fetish" was some bloke in a catsuit jumping around on a platform.
We then made our way up to the next room, where we stopped to admire the dinky little TV screens built into the wall. Nice idea, that.

It started to fill up around half twelve, and after finishing our alarmingly expensive drinks, we decided to get up for a proper dance. Oh dear. Each room seemed to be filled with the same type of people- wankers and posers. There wasn't much of an atmosphere, like in some clubs, where people seemed to be lost in the music. Maybe that was because the music itself was less than stimulating. I think they had scrapped the whole trance idea by the time we went there, and instead we got a weird sort of progressive funk. It's so difficult to get into if you want to really throw yourself into it; it seems more suitable for people who want to strut around, vodka redbull in hand, and look "cool". Actually, thinking about it now, it was probably a good choice, with the other clubbers in mind.

The myth that each level has different music is also untrue- one level just looks down on the level below, and
you hear the same music, and the top level is shut off to lesser mortals who haven't made it on the VIP list. Admittedly, the design is above average for a London club, but I think more could have been made of it.

Realising that every floor was basically playing the same brand of boring, uninspiring music, we made a decision to call it a night. This was about half 1 in the morning, and believe me, we don't EVER leave that early if we can help it. Resisting the temptation to get a massage (another nice idea on Home's part) we sat in the tiny chill-out area, admired the view for a few minutes, and then left, highly disappointed.

Home is essentially wasted potential. It has some really good ideas, but the music is sub-standard and this isn't just me not particularly liking it; no-one I saw seemed to be have that great a time. It lacks in atmosphere, and is definitely too over-priced, even for a London club. So it looks like Equinox again... at least it has no pretentions about being anything more than a cheesy tourist club!

Summary: