“ CHINESE. 104 Mott Street, at Hester Street. Tel: +1 (212) 941 7228. Disabled access. „
**Imediate update!!!** Upon posting I have discovered that this catagory isn't strictly the right one for my frivolous ramblings...I do apologise! *****Bob does bingo...dobby abuse of the worse order!!***** Firstly I had better introduce you to BOB, Bob is a cad, bob is a fiend...from the first time you meet bob, he slips into your thoughts and conversations,dominates your waking thoughts and intrudes on your dreams!! Almost sounds wonderful doesn't he? So who or what is BOB? Bob is an alternative, a replacement...for all those rude or abusive words you need to hold in reserve for infurriated or dire moments....never mind oh SH#T...now it's OH BOB!!!...F### off...na, now it's BOB off!!..so we have our companion!! So what on earth has BOB to do with bingo?..lots as you'll soon discover!!! Bingo can be a perilous pass time as any hardened bingoer will tell you. All bingoers have their favorite halls of residence and patterns to their attendance.This often dependant on both funding and social availability. I suffer on both fronts so it's a great event when I do manage to prevail upon my local bingo hall.Not that I let social isolation or low funding prevent me from attending too often ! One thing that does sometimes spoil my enjoyment is that fact that large companies have taken over huge amounts of the bingo business,leaving little or no choice in the venue or position of game. My chosen (or rather forced) venue is a Gala hall,one of three in my fair city of Nottingham. There used to be several alternative smaller halls but the big fish swallowed them up and the choice was made for me. Let me guide you through one of my passionate sessions of self indulgence... First I gather together my meagre spondolicks(cash),my identification (for the prize police...god willing) and arm myself ready for some dobby abuse(grab my bingo markers aka,dobbies)
. Kissing each of my children before I embark on my journey,I hastily grab the keys to the dobby chariot(car) and engage the thrust (hit the accelerator)..The dash to park in a good and safe spot along with gaining an advantage on the seating arrangement gives me the first choronary flutters. Alocating my dobby chariot it's appointed slot,I speedily race towards the doors,register my (awesome) presence,pay for my dobby fodder(books) and scuttle off to the players gallery. Refreshments are essential for the moments where my mouth dries in anticipation of an impending win (god willing),for this there is a cafe,drinks machine or free water points.Invariably I sneak in some of my own favorite tipple (which ever cans of pop are on offer in tesco that week). Seating myself in a position where I can readily survey my kingdom and the various screens that display the numbers, I comfort myself and warm up with a couple of games of party bingo (always up for a party)..these are games played using boards supplied with some tables and are either mini spondoolicks games or prize games (prizes can be a bit dubvious though).This not only gives me chance to warm my bingo arm and vocals ,but also can be quite productive in the way of wallet fodder (spondoolicks/cash). A word of warning though..they can cost a quid a game so best avoided on sparsely funded days. I swiftly pull my Moby (mobile phone) out of my bag and switch it off...rule number one of the Bingo halls is Turn off that ringer!!! and gladly I comply...nice to be free from those little phone calls that eminate from home on a 5 minutely basis!! (now are you starting to see some of the appeal of bingo). Ok,so having warmed up and discovered that god is not so willing or eager today,I introduce BOB..and in a variety of tones and phrases...the stage is set and I'm ready to get serious!! Praying once more to the bingo and dobby gods, and showing my intentions to
them by displaying my lucky coin and four leaf clover, I prepare myself for the main games. Book one, First I aim to cover 1 line of numbers before any other in the hall,then on to two lines and a complete grid (full house/cover all). Those gods must be listening,I want one!!! BOB,darn and BOB it,BOB ,BOB, BOB... BOB it and holy BOB...blast I so needed a 69..then some other BOB person goes and gets a pair of legs (11)!! I hope those gods listen a little more to me and BOB!!! So my pulse is at full pace, the numbers are coming thick and fast...and yeah!!!!! OI!! Over hear!!! House!!!...way hay...first shout of the night..BOB got through to those gods!! BOB,BOB,BOB...someone else was praying too...oh well, a share is better than nothing!! Two,three ,four more times the numbers fall too close to relax...Bob is called to my rescue several times and I feverishly hammer my dobby down,harder and harder..covering anything and everything I can. It's a good job Bob and I are alone tonight...sometimes when in a fellow bingoers company the temptation to relieve the frustrations can be too high and I find my dobby abuse hightens to the point where I lash out and mark them too!! Dobby abuse should be taken very seriously, it has been known to cause severe injuries!! The night rolls on....my hails to the bingo gods have gone unheard and I depart with just one win,but a healthy one at that..certainly kept BOB in check. Counting my wallet fodder ,I return to my dobby chariot and start my slow and reluctant journey away from the hall...on days when the gods are less favorable I find this journey much easier to take as BOB accompanies me all the way home!! Once home we give a little more thanks to the gods and hold a small celebration, often involving the ceremonious browsing though the argos catalogue !! I then gently and carefully place my identification and dobby sticks back in their storage beds(I chuck them in th
e cupboard). My hear beat begins to regulate and I settle down again for the night, my inner desires and needs fulfilled for a little while... * * * Advice? * * * Only this...beware the beast that lurks!! Enjoy it, give in to the abuse,pray hard to the dobby gods and arm yourself with good equipment, but moderate it else it will consume your Dooyoo life!!!