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YOUR GATEWAY TO CHATTING ORGIES, AND TOLL FREE PHONE CALLS
Microsoft MSN Messenger Service
Member Name: dolphin_style
Microsoft MSN Messenger Service
Date: 11/09/01, updated on 27/09/01 (2547 review reads)
Advantages: Instant, Free, Microsoft
Disadvantages: Microsoft, Logging in glitch
Microsoft’s instant messaging service was introduced back in 1997, since then the popularity of it, and indeed its rivals, has rocketed. With an estimated 20-30% of the online population, now using MSN or a similar service. Here’s what it’s all about:
~~ A is for ~~
Adding a friend – To do this all you need is there hotmail address, and providing they have MSN installed on their computer, things should be fine. The next time you're on the Internet, and your buddy logs on, you can chat until your, well, sick of chatting.
Adverts – Not really a big issue. At the bottom of the main MSN window, there is a tiny space devoted to adverts. Usual Microsoft orientated, currently its saying “Get Windows XP, so Billy can build his monopoly to further extremes”, well at least that’s how I interpret it. The only gripe about this is the fact that it takes time to download the advert from the web, and when it changes, this also takes time. Maybe only a couple of seconds, but hey, t’is still time. Overall not much of a hassle, considering its only about 2cm x 6cm in size!
~~ B is for ~~
Block – If one of your buddies is cheesing you off, or some no-gooder is sending you spam, simply select their name and press “block”. This stops them from sending you any more annoying messages. Very handy feature, which I have used to good effect, on a number of occasions.
~~ C is for ~~
Contacts list - Store up to 50 of your buddies in this handy little online phone book. Whenever they come online, you will be able to talk until your hearts content.
Chat – This will be your primary
use of theservice, CHATTING! Wahoo.
Cost effective – It takes longer than a phone call, unless your can type faster than you can talk! Its very inexpensive, I am on NTL so the Internet access is free. So in theory chatting is free too. However there are the pennies for electric, nothing big to grumble about though.
~~ D is for ~~
Download – Once you have registered, see “registration” below, you have to download a small program, this is the part of the service that needs to be kept on your PC. Its about a 1 megabyte download, and should take about 10 minutes on your typical 56K modem.
Dooyoo chat – If you find the “op-com” chat room a bit daunting, then simply add your fellow dooyoo users to your contacts list, and you can chat about all those, well, you know, al those dooyooey things.
~~ E is for ~~
Emoticons – Not sure what these were called, but my friend, (on MSN messenger) told me they were called this. Thanks “HOT_DOG_GOD”!. Basically these take the idea of smiley faces and frowns that one step further. Here's my guide to help you along your way:
:) = A yellow smiley face (obvious!)
:~ = A yellow face with wobbly mouth.
(@) = A cat
:[ = A bat
(F) = Flower, rose to be honest.
(L) = Heart
(K) = Lips
You see? Try and experiment by your self, see what little icons you can create!
~~ F is for ~~
File Transfer – This feature is one of the facilities I use most on MSN. Whether it’s sharing homework with my mates, or getting a picture, ahem, of a friend. However I must stress, only accept files of people you trust, and even then, use a virus scanner to make sure its safe. Almost any file can be sent; pictures, mp3’s, videos, however be realistic. Sending anything over 10mb is going to take forever, unless you both have broadband or ADSL.
Free! – That a description of the cost
of the service. Free, no not £3, like us Nottinghamers may think, but “FREE”. Zero, Nothing, no pennies.
~~ G is for ~~
Gripe – The main annoyances with MSN, is the logging in glitch. At times, even when you know your mates are online, you are unable to log in! This can be very tedious, and according to the bloke at the big M who I emailed me: “Its due to varying server set ups”. Basically your mates on the good one, and you get but on the one that’s down. Life’s a beach.
~~ H is for ~~
Help – Need some help with MSN Messenger? Or info on any other Microsoft product? Go to: www.microsoft.com, and click on the “products” tab.
Hotmail link-up, The – Another great feature of the MSM Messenger service is the ability to know if you have any emails in your hotmail account. If you have any emails when you log in it will say, in a pop up window, “ You have X amount of emails”, this acts as a hyperlink t your in box, so simply click it to see who its from! Also, if you receive an email whilst online, the same window will pop up, however this time it will say, “You have received an email from so-and-so”. Again click to view it. I have found that this is one of the reasons why all my mates have the service; real time link up with your email account, ingenious.
~~ I is for ~~
Icons – You're online? You are now a normal icon, a simple iridescent green coloured human silhouette. Offline? You bloke turns a darker shade of red. Basically all these icons are to provide information, visually, and immediate recognition for the user.
Instant Messaging – The definition of the whole group of programs. It does what it says on the tin – messages your mates, instantly.
~~ J is for ~~
Just one more minute – I have been up until the wee hours talking to a wide range of people from across the world. Well, act
ually, I haven’t. That was a load of old tosh, as I needed something for “J”. Hey, you could though, right?
~~ K is for ~~
Kit-Kat – “Have a break, have a, I'll give you 3 guesses”. On of the UK’s best known slogans, and MSN signed deal with Nestle to have the service called “MSN Instant Messaging service, in association with Kit-Kat”. This resulted in the kit-logo been used along side the Microsoft one; a big boost for both parties involved. However it seems the alliance has broken down now, and we are left with plain old; “Billy Gates Instant Messaging Service”. Then again, saying that, it has got a certain ring to it!
~~ L is for ~~
Logging in – usually is a very straightforward, and stress-free operation. However see “gripe” for the problem you may encounter.
Logging out – Well, you can’t mess this one up! Simply exit the program and you’re out of there sonny Jim.
~~ M is for ~~
Microsoft – The company responsible for this innovative utility. Once again all hail Billy Gates. (I’ll let him have the credit this time)
Multi-Chat – This basically means having more than 2 people in a chat at the same time. Not sure how far you can go up to, I have been in a room with over 20 of us! It’s hard to get a word in edge ways!
~~ N is for ~~
Net meeting – This program should already be installed on your system, proving your didn’t de-select it when your installed windows. Basically this enhance the whole “online meeting” experience. You click on ”start net meeting”. This is accessed through the “Invite” located near the top of the chat window. Basically this program allows those who have a web cam, to see each other. And to interact in various other ways, such as a white board, which either user can draw on. Very handy feature if you are
prepared to wait for it to load, however, it isn’t as instant as MSN.
~~ O is for ~~
Origami – The Japanese art of paper sculpture. And a vague attempt at making my opinion a tad humorous.
~~ P is for ~~
Phone call – You can actually make a voice call to someone you are chatting to, simply click “talk” so and so, and if you both have Microphones and speakers, you should be up and running. Just think of the money you can save on International phone calls. I use mine to speak to my uncle, he lives in Canada, it costs me zero pence per hour! Brilliant.
Price – No service charge, all you pay are your standard Internet costs.
Paging service – Currently only available in the US. However I have been told that when introduced over here in the UK, it will ct as an SMS based exchange system. A bit like “Lycos’s” current service. (www.lycos.co.uk/sms)
Passport – Microsoft’s virtual online identity, its all propaganda, an email address, that’s all your need!
~~ Q is for ~~
Quick! – Put the kettle on! Please take regular breaks from Internet usage, especially prolonged sectors of text reading, it could result in eye damage. So be careful! And make me a brew. Go on!
~~ R is for ~~
Registration - This is a very simple procedure, and I you have already got a hotmail account you don’t need to do it! Should take you no more than about 10 minutes out of your hectic schedule.
Rivals – Here’s my opinion on MSN’s rivals, and how it compares:
MSN - *****
ICQ - ****
AOL - ***
Yahoo - **
MSN is head and shoulders, well maybe just head, above the rest. Its simple to use, and eliminates many of the annoying iggles (Its my new word of the week), found amongst other instant messaging services.
Rudeness – Usual accompanied by a few swear words. Potential sources? W
ell anyone really, but if you want to believe the stereotype, then it’s a spotty teenage freak. Simply clock these sad folk and carry on with your new chatty lifestyle.
~~ S is for ~~
Simplicity – That’s the thing that struck me most when I first used Messenger, the way in which the program is comprised makes it so easy to use. If you’re a computer newbie, you should find operating this program an utter breeze.
~~ T is for ~~
Typing? – This is a VERY handy to feature. So that you don’t interrupt your mates when they are about to submit a message, you can see whether they are currently typing a message are not. I they are it will simply say, ”Mr.X is typing a message” at the bottom of the window.
Text colour – I think there are about 10 colours, non-particularly striking, suppose that’s good, easier to read. I like the turquoise one best.
Text size – It won’t look any bigger on your mates’ screen, but if you have dodgy eyes then this is a handy feature to help relaxation.
Text font – All your favourites are here: aerial, time new roman etc. Just choose a basic one at first, reading some of the more fancy ones can be a quite a challenge in its self!
~~ U is for ~~
Updating – This at first is a reassuring pop up. However over time you get rather peeved with it. Every week, without fail, on a Tuesday if I am correct, I get a little window saying, “Would you like to upgrade to the newer version … bla bla”. I, as a typical dunce, always click “sod off”, more widely known as “no”. Don’t know why, maybe it’s a built in gene pasted down from my stubborn grand Stone Age daddies. No seriously, this probably would be a very good option, however, I am happy with what I have got. Why change it, if it isn’t broken. Want the full tribal chant told to me by my great, great, great
~~ V is for ~~
Version 3.6 – That is the version I have, there are later version, but I don’t want to update, you hear that Billy? I DON’T WANT TO UPDATE!
~~ W is for ~~
Windows – Obviously its compatible with Microsoft's own Operating System, bit of a design flaw if it wasn’t!
~~ X is for ~~
Okey Dokey – Not actually beginning with “X”, however nothing to do with SMN either. So I think we have hit a happy medium.
~~ Y is for ~~
Yada Yada – Another word for chatting, your going to be doing a lot of this now you know!
~~ Z is for ~~
(Z) – Type this when you are on messenger, and a little picture of a cold-faced bloke will be produced. Well, “Z” was a bit difficult, yes!
Well, there you have it, MSN messenger; the best amongst an ingenious selection of instant messaging programs. If you haven’t got it, get it.
Thanks for reading