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Author: Jane Scrivner
RRP: 4.99 GBP
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Nothing quite portrays the feeling of irksomeness than 'The Quick-Fix Hangover Detox book'; written by Jane Scrivner. Endorsed by The British School of Contemporary Therapy, it is a guide to prepare an individual for a heavy session on the falling down juice. Not exactly to educate those alcohol dependant via a prolonged detox program which could be of some use, if the program was in simple text rather than an expensive lecture about a lifetime commitment of alcohol abstaining. The book was bought for 20 pence on a market-stall near Deli End; I was seduced by the capital letters of 'D E T O X' and hastily offloaded one twenty pence coin thinking the book would unearth some covert 'Priory' treatments. Paid for by the affluent few who squander a fraction of their wealth on pickling their livers - and after a five day binge they collapse unceremoniously with strings of pita bread, mayonnaise and lettuce attempting to abseil to the pavement from a comatose half opened mouth. After witnessing such revulsion, fingers wag towards treatment for addiction. If this scenario is a normal weekend occurrence, this book is not for you - even if you paid twenty pence, disappointment will play havoc with your broken capillary cheeks.
Schhivner n her shherrypy
This is the type of guild you'll have great intentions of acting out, but inevitably will end up in your bathroom sink cupboard, which over time will get stained by hair gel residue and shaving foam and start smelling of old man's fart. You'll only get it out again after you've had a skin-full the night before and according to Jan Scrivner only one of her three strategies maybe of use, cleverly named 'Recovery strategies 'after' you drink'; and yes she wisely states drinking H2O will hydrate your body and help with the recovery process. The subtitled: '99 Ways to Feel 100 Times Better is simply a counter to help with the evils of alcohol. Without doubt number 76 out of 100 is a Glen Hoddle classic - magically titled; 'crystal ball' - Scrivner stipulates that crystals have many healing properties, she orders the reader to sort through their jewellery box (a smidgeon sexist there I felt) and sift through the sparkles. Apparently 'Turquoise' is superb for diarrhea and addictions. Also, by just seeing the sparkly crystals catching the light will uplift your spirits. News to me, I found that any form of streams of light during a hangover caused the pulsating head to become nauseous; naturally the jewellery box may work as a sick bowl if you can't make it to the toilet initially. 'A sweet smell of success' is another digit oriented statement to aid alcoholism and the problems of over indulgence. Rub ginger and geranium over the lower abdomen; by doing this, it'll keep your stools firm and therefore won't cause your rectum any irritation due to frequent toilet visits. The downfall is - who'll go near you smelling of geranium? Boil up 'rosemary' the herb helps your liver to recover if you inhale it; and meanwhile drink peppermint tea; this'll kick-start your natural detox internally. Tea or coffee with the stimulant caffeine in it is a big negative - stay away. Say 'No' to drugs. Her words slapped my wrists. Caffeine or aspirin makes the recovery process a tiresome proposition for your body. You may feel better afterwards instantly; which is the general idea - however according to Scrivner the body needs natural resources to help prolong the agony. And you really should've read part two of this book shouldn't you, before having that triple shot.
'Sweet High' - sweet drinks make you want more of them - Step away. Refrain from sweetly named alcoholic beverages. They're eye catching and Scrivner firmly states their lethal if your young and want to dance. Have water instead, it's boring and you'll dance less. Scrivner detests the young from enjoying themselves. I assume she believes the young should just eat broccoli and roller skate on promenades instead - at least their excrement will be solid and high in fibre. Refrain from drinking highly sugary, alcoholic beverages. They'll make you drunk quicker! I do wonder if Scrivner realizes that the crapulent youths understand this fact and engage in sugary alcoholic drinks because they get you drunk quicker. Scrivner in this book is fuelling the problem with youth alcoholism and between the lineage wants the inebriated youths to then buy more of her 'D E T O X' books. You can't miss them, they have the word detox scrawled on it. She uses the word detox as if it is a fad, a marketing ploy to seduce the alcoholic dependent individual into thinking the guide is a cheap answer to ridding them of this terrible dependency.
Quick-fishh guide shhwims around the problemshh
'Know your limits'. She announces that women are allowed 14 units of alcohol a week and men are allowed 21 units of alcohol a week. As specified by the drunken louts who have bar room brawls in Whitehall bars. This meaningless subheading conveys different things to many people, when it comes to preventing a hangover - the governmental guidelines to sensible consumption spread throughout the week; many individuals don't drink in the week but have 20 plus units on a Friday or Saturday night. This is more harmful for the body than if you drink 30 units collectively spread throughout the week. The advice is farcical. Scrivner throws in the feminist card at the point whereby she announces men have an added enzyme that breaks down alcohol. Women are deficient of this enzyme and can't consume as much for this reason. Not in my experience they don't; women never go to the barman, and say: 'hold-back on the large glass of Pinot Grigio, I forgot I don't have that alcohol breakdown enzyme men have - how unfair'. Some things in life are just not fair - Scrivner concludes. Men could say the same about PMT, but there is no quick-fix guide for such a minefield.
Scrivner I believe has good intentions with her detox practices - albeit questionable when it comes to her choice of therapies. Out of the 99 suggestions a fair few maybe of use and instrumental in engineering a frightful hangover or help in nurturing a prolonged state of nausea. For the masochist, Scrivner's detox books will be a good source of enjoyment. Tackling such a big concern such as alcoholism doesn't come in a bite-size book, consisting of 120 pages of digit orientated statements. The problems lie deeper within our family units - Alcohol for millions of young people works as a form of companion, a legal form of escapism; derived by fatal imbalances of family and work life. The home and family-based social interactions are where young people should learn how to drink alcohol responsibly - a book by Scrivner that barely skims the top of the iceberg.