“ Brand: Burger King / Type: Ice Cream „
Oh, this is too funny for words. I wanted to write about Burger King's latest Ice-Cream offering - Chocolate Fudge Cake and while trying to research a picture for my suggestion I came across a whole tub of obnoxious headlines, more of which later. We'll start with my experience of this delicacy.... I made The Boyfriend meet me and my purchases from the January Sales and in return allowed him to stop on the way back to the van for a Burger King. I hate Burger King because 1) I am a food purist who subscribes wholeheartedly to the no junk food / no added salt / no processed food approach and 2) it's a rip off. I think that five pounds for a Burger Meal that cost pennies is shocking, and that sitting on rock hard, sticky plastic seats to eat it is insanity. However, it was so cold outside that my fingers were numb from clutching the carrier bags and we must remember I was being nice. In fact so nice that I let myself get a bit swept up in things and decided to try one of their 99p ice-creams. Chocolate Fudge Cake Ice Cream sounded like the most perfect dessert in the world. Burger King describe it on their menu as 'delicious creamy ice-cream with chocolate fudge sauce and pieces of real chocolate fudge cake' and with a very sexy close up and backlit photo over the counter. We paid for The Boyfriend's meal and after we'd been waiting about 15 minutes for that (despite being the only people waiting) she decided to do my ice-cream. It came in a Mr Whippy type spiral out of a space age looking silver machine and straight into a plastic cup with a domed lid. I became anxious. "Look" I said to The Boyfriend, fretfully, "She's doing plain ice-cream. I wanted Chocolate Fudge Cake". Then I realised that this was just the first step in making it. She then put in a squirt of something (presumably the sauce) from an unmarked bottle and looked in some other unmarked tubs with a puzzled look before shaking something which rattled in on top. The unmarked squeezy bottles were a bit off-putting, it was one of those 'are you sure that's not bleach' moments. The final step was fitting a plastic spoon to a robot arm to whisk the whole thing up. She left it on the counter and wandered off to look for some other part of the order and I decided there was no need to stand on ceremony. I swirled the plastic spoon in the disappointingly unflavoured ice-cream and we ate it while we watched The Boyfriend's chips and one of the Burgers go stone cold. Ordinarily I suppose people would just stand and eat it at the counter, but this was a takeaway, half of which was being patiently waited for at home by his dad. I resisted the temptation to remind him that this is what you get for buying s**t in a tray. So how was my ice-cream? The ice cream itself - a smooth, creamy consistency, with a nice sweet taste. It was slightly let down by a lack of any flavour. The connoisseur in me would like it to have a subtle hint of vanilla to overpower the cold nothingness. The 'cake' was in fact a small handful of perfectly cubed chocolate flavour croutons. These were teeth crunchingly bad to begin with, but after a good soak in the melted ice cream they softened to an edible mush. The sauce, or rather what little there was of it, had the flavour of artificial toffee and failed to mix with the ice cream, pulling out in long stretchy strands. Overall though, the ice cream was okay. Not on a par with McFlurry and so far from the league of Domino's cheesecake (yes, okay, but I had to try them for research) but all right in a very mediocre way. Would I buy it again? Given the lack of vegetarian options in BK, the ice cream is the only thing I can eat other than the 'Garden' salad. That's bleach washed iceberg with a greenish cherry tomato and nothing else, so I probably would choose the ice-cream. Coming to my title, Burger King used to have a cute little swirl symbol on the top of the ice-cream lids. To me this looked like a sideways M, but these things are in the eye of the beholder. While I was in Romania (and therefore missing out on the hilarious outrage news stories coveted by The Sun and the Daily Mail) a certain story broke. "THE fast-food chain, Burger King, is withdrawing its ice-cream cones after the lid of the dessert offended a Muslim. The man claimed the design resembled the Arabic inscription for Allah, and branded it sacrilegious, threatening a "jihad"." Isn't it a good thing to see Allah in ice cream? Catholics get really excited about spotting the Virgin Mary in fence posts, tomatoes or toast. Surely it's proof that the creator is omnipresent? - comments on this appreciated. I don't think he should declare jihad because the symbol is offensive, but I'd back him all the way if it was because their ice cream is crap.
Soft brownie pieces with chocolate fudge in rich dairy ice cream.