Perfect? (Center Parcs)

Member Name: sparky44

Product:	Center Parcs
Date:	26/02/02 (1271 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Great swimming, Happy kids, Cheap supermarket

Disadvantages: Terrible restaurants, Lack of signs, Waiting for everything!

Friday has come! A friend (Danielle) and I have taken the day off work so we can set off to Center Parcs in Elveden Forest for a fun packed hen weekend.

Despite being told that it will be singposted Elvden Forest from the motorway, we struggle to see one sign hidden behind a tree 20 mins after we had left it!

But no matter! We arrive and are immediately amazed by the tranquil surroundings...of the numerous amounts of kids and the long suffering parents also arriving early at the resort.

Once in our chalet though, as dramatic change of mood suprises us both we we see a fully equipped kitchen (inc microwave) and the ultimate dream, a built in hifi (TV too of course).

To make sure our hen has the most pleasant stay we set off in the search of beauty pleasure at 'The Country Club'. But being lazy we hire bikes for the weekend after stumbling across them at 20 mins walk. 30 mins later, after getting lost trying to find 'The Country Club' we are told that the only treament left to book is a neck, back and shoulder massage. The only thing left for our Friday to Monday stay. How strange, we think, considering it's only February. God only knows what it's like during the peak season!

In order to not get lost again, Dan and I set off for the information centre to find that not only has it got one very harrassed member of staff, but that it contains no information either. We resign oursleves to getting lost for the rest of the weekend!

On our way back to our sumptuous chalet, we stumble across 'The Plaza' which contains everything from a 'subtropical swimmning paradise' to several restaurants, shops, ten pin bowling and even a cash machine. Hooray! Judging by the amounts of activities here we think we will be needing the cash machine frequently. Shame there's only one...

Next we come across the lovely supermarket which is (Make sure you're sitting down) EXTREMEL
Y REASONABLY PRICED. Nothiing like a service station, more of an ASDA really. So we stock up on essentials, like biscuits, chips and the obligatory alcohol.

Since the hen and her party are not arriving till 10pm, we think that indulging in a spot of swimming and sunbeds is in order. If we can find the swimming pool that is! After wandering round for half an hour, we finally ask a member of staff who informs us that we have to cover our shoes we the free blue plasticy things they provide, walk through the changing rooms and locker rooms, follow a sign that says disabled access (of which there is only one) and then we're by the poolside. The disabled access sign leads us to a door which is marked PRIVATE, but being adventurous girlies we walk through it anyway and find ourselves virtually in the pool. Even though at least 2 lifeguards spot us walking through, no questions are asked. Finally we make it to a booking point for our sunbeds with our fingers crossed, hoping that they're not booked up only to find that we're the only bookings of the day. We never find out why though.

After figuring out where we parked out bikes (there's millions of the damn things, it's probably best to bring your own if you've got a bright pink one because then at least you'd find it!) we head back to the chalets and cook a bit of dinner.

This is easily the most relaxing bit of the day, and we have a chat with our new found friend Mr Squirrel, who is so tame he actually walked in! Aww!

Swimming and tanning later on is a pleasant experience. We feel quite reluctant to leave but...

...Rest of hen party arrives. Alcohol is comsumed. Day one ends!

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Day two

Bring on the exercise! Dan and I get on our bikes to follow the rest of the girls to the 'subtropical swimming paradise' only to find bums sore from not having cycled properly since
we were teens. But we can't really blame Centre Parcs for that.

We can however blame them for the lack and complexity of the changing rooms. Although there are communal ones, for those over a size 10 would probably find this a daunting experience. Plus, although there is a small sign saying one side is mens and one is womens, most people don't take any notice becasue the sign is so small. After finding a changing room, we find they have doors both sides and if you forget to lock both someone could walk in on you at any moment.

We praise Center Parcs for their large amount of lockers. WELL DONE!

So much swimming activity, so little time. There's (deep breath) a main poo, children's pool, saltwater pool, plunge pool, wave machine, gentle river, rapids, 2 slides, one tube, four jacuzzis, a sauna, solarium, tanning beds and stand up quick tanners, refreshments and a serious lack of lifeguards, both of which looked like they were about to fall asleep. Phew!

Although the jacuzzis are supposed to come on at automatic intervals, we wait and we wait until finally a lifeguard comes along, completely ignores us, takes a water sample and walks off, despite the cries of 'Young Man! from us 20 somethings!

We also find that we spend a lot of time waiting for the wave machine which we are informed 'comes on at 10 to and 10 past for 10 mins at a time'. No it doesn't come on at the right time and it lasts about 5 mins. But the tropical surrounings save out sanity and we spend the day relatively relaxed until the later on in the day.

We then try to book a meal at the tapas bar 'Lucianos' for the 8 of us. After literally walking into their kitchens to find a member of staff, we are told that there have to be 10 of us to book a table at any restaurant and are advised to come back later, when we are ready to eat.

So we do and after winking at a few young waiters they rustle up
a table for eight and we get settled. Then we have to get up again because they do not look after drinks orders. SO Dan and I trundle over to the bar and grab 2 jugs if sangria and 8 glasses. Not an easy feat if you've got small hands like me.

Every orders tapas except myself because I'm starving and don't want to share with anyone else. And 30 mins later I'm so glad I did. Dear Emily (the Hen) finds what looks like a spider in her omlette and we all have a laugh, until we find that is actually a spider. Customer Service guru Dan quietly calls over one of the waitresses who doesn't immediately apologise (but apparently they don't have to until the fault is comfirmed, fair enough) 5 mins later the waitress returns, minus the arachnid-lette and takes our drinks and omlettes of the bill as compensation. Omlettes for that particular restaurant are ordered in, so we didn't even get a fresh spider (the cheek).When offered pudding though we heartily decline.

With our stomachs very unstable at this point we head off to the 'Leisure Bowl' a bar, bowling and disco. Very pleasant despite the lack of staff and longish waiting time for drinks. Comsume larger amounts of alcohol to blot out spider incident and return to chalets for a long nights sleep.

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Sunday. Ah, the day of rest. Us girlies decide to cook a hearty fry up in the bigger chalet with the well priced goodies from Center Parcs supermarket.

Third day goes well. More swimming ensues. And we have lots of fun on the pedalos trying to keep up with the kids on surf bikes.

Having walked past the 'Pancake House' on more than one occasion, we see that it has a mitchen right in the middle of the restaurant and everything is freshly prepared. Mmm lovely we murmur as we replace the calories we lost whilst swimming.

Unfortunately one of our party has to leave early since she&
#39;s more committed to her job than the rest of us. So we wave her off and decide to try our luck booking a table at the Amercian 'Huckleberry's' resturant for that evening. Bear in mind that it is now 5pm.

I sashay my way towards the lovely Kiwi waiter (sorry Ian!) and tell him that we have 10 people (a small white lie) who want a table for 8pm. He then informes me that I need to come back in about 2 hours get on a waiting list for a table. But surely that is the point of booking, so we don't have to wait I exclaim! Can you not just put us on the waiting list now, I say. But we have 10 whole people, it says to book on the sign I sigh.

But no. I sulk off into a corner and resign myself to the fact that there is nothing that my mates and I can do but wait. So we do and have an ickle swimming session inbetween.

Back at 8pm sharp I am told that we can now go on the waiting list (hooray!) and our tabel will be ready at about 9.30pm. Despite the red mist that I now see I agree and am handed a flashing vibrating thingy that tells me when the table is ready provided I stay on the same floor of the plaza at all times. Excellent. This now means my dear friends have to buy all the drinks because the only availble bar is upstairs at the leisure bowl.

The dreamy eyed Kiwi summons us over at 9.15 (what no vibrations!) and we order our drinks and starter. ALl the girls will testify that we did wait 30 mins for a out drinks and 45 mins for our starter, despite the fact we were only one of two tables left occupied in this huge restaurant. 45 mins after our starter, we are told that the food takes a long time to get from one place to another. But surely we could have gone to Amercia oursleves and got it back quicker. Nevertheless, the food is excellent.

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Monday

We have enjoyed our activity time here but make a pact that we will go self catering next
time and book our beauty treatments in advance. We hand our bikes in (which is relatively painless until you remember how far your chalet is without one), wave goodbye to the 'Subtropical Swimming Paradise and make our way to the exit.

We know they have out names and address but we can help feeling worried when that last thing we see is a large wooden bin marked KEYS on our way out, with no security, no cameras an no human beings of any kind to check us out.

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Despite out food adventures we want to go again and try and experience everything that Center Parcs has to offer. But we must remember to book first and make sure there's ten of us!

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