Finland's scariest town? (Lohja (Finland))

Member Name: fizzywizzy

Product:	Lohja (Finland)
Date:	07/07/08 (184 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Limestone mines, Opus K pub, the lake, walking trails

Disadvantages: Very frightening people, nowhere to eat on Sundays

On the final leg of our Estonia/Finland travels in September 2007 we needed to find somewhere to spend our final two nights travelling before we arrived back in Helsinki prior to our return home. We wanted somewhere roughly midway between Turku and Helsinki with a bed and breakfast or hotel, somewhere to eat and something interesting to do or see. Only one of the places we identified on our map as being likely also appeared in our Lonely Planet guide - that place was Lohja.

We arrived in the town soaking wet on Saturday lunchtime and squelched our way to Matkakoti Linnakangas, described in Lonely Planet as a 'comfortable and well-equipped guesthouse' with 'a variety of homely rooms with fridge, TV and toilet'. After a minute or two standing on the doorstep absorbing more rain, the proprietor appeared and in what seemed an unnecessarily long period of time, gave us a twin room with en suite bathroom. I certainly wouldn't describe it as 'homely'; spartan, basic or adequate would be more appropriate but it was clean and it was warm. We changed into dry clothes and went to explore.

At this time of year the tourist office was not open but there was a useful information board near the hotel, on a small square where a market was just winding up. The board displayed a small map of the town pointing out various eating places and the location of the lake and several walking trails. At this time the town was fairly busy as people were rushing to do shopping before the last shops closed for the day. The first stop was the supermarket where we picked up some provisions for the following days breakfast and some alcohol (not for breakfast).

Lunch was the next mission; we found several cafes but they were in the process of shutting up for the day. We rejected McDonalds and were left with a choice of a chain restaurant or a kebab and pizza joint. We decided that we should go for the kebab cafe because the chain restaurant looked a better prospect for dining that evening. Sitting in a corner eating greasy pizza and limp salad we stared back as the underclass of Lohja glared at us. When it became too scary and a very pierced man came in with a lady we thought was his mother but very clearly turned out to be a paramour we donned out cagoules and fled.

We found the rather pretty church (Pyhan Laurin Kirkko) that Lonely Planet had mentioned and thought we would go inside to see the murals but it had closed earlier than the stated times in the guidebook. Then we decided to visit the museum which is supposed to display an eclectic collection of items and has a recreated schoolhouse from days gone by. However, the rain had become heavier and, besides, we had spotted the rock bar. Inside we were transported to 1985 as Bon Jovi and Poison wannabes strutted around in lurid spandex and leopard print scarves. The middle-aged members of a glam metal band were setting up the stage for a gig later that evening. We drank our Koff and ventured back outside, into the rain once more.

Fortunately the rain was easing by the time we got to the lake. Lohjanjarvi is the biggest lake in this part of Finland and is a popular tourist destination, especially with day trippers from the capital. There are lots of small holiday cabins around the lake and there are lots of different walking and cycle trails around it. Regularly placed maps point out the routes and indicate picnic places, safe swimming posts and other water sports. Lohja is apparently famous throughout Finland for its many apple orchards, many of which are located around the lake. I would have been interested to see one but those that invite visitors were now closed for the season.

Of course when we visited everything was closed down and the only noise to be heard was that of tethered boats banging against each other in the wind. We did what all people aimlessly wandering around lakes do and skimmed stones while the wind blew our hoods off and strung our faces.

Back at the hotel we dressed for dinner (well we put on more dry clothes) then hit the town. First stop was Opus K, a place not to be missed. It is well known as one of Finland's best pubs and has floor to ceiling, wall to wall book shelves crammed with books on almost every subject you can think of (this is not a challenge for Dooyoo-ers to devise all kinds of bizarre and arcane topics). Assuming you can read Finnish you could spend hours in here reading and drinking obscure beers from some of the country's best microbreweries. The place attracts a mixed crowd and seems popular with Trivial Pursuit fans; I longed to be invited to join in but I guess my inability to speak more than about ten words of Finnish would have put me at a disadvantage.

A quick stop at the Rock Bar confirmed that we hadn't been mistaken earlier on and then we chanced upon a little Greek restaurant hidden away in a back street near the rock bar. Here we ate delicious food while we pretended to be unaware of the only other occupied table in the restaurant where two very drunk couples were having a very heated argument. At one point the man from one couple and the lady from the other went outside to smoke, during which time the two remaining members of the group started snogging at the table.

On Sunday morning we didn't let our lack of walking poles stop us from joining the town's middle-aged walkers on the hills to the north of the town centre. We filled our lungs with fresh air and blew away the cobwebs as we tried to tell ourselves we must by now have met the vast majority of the dysfunctional inhabitants of Lohja and that today would be much less dramatic. We exercised our limited Finnish vocabulary as we greeted our fellow walkers, we petted friendly dogs and we tried to identify an array of brightly coloured fungi. Lohja had taken on a new aura and we liked it.

A lack of places open for lunch on a Sunday led us to the chain restaurant we had managed to avoid the night before but we enjoyed a decent enough lunch of salad and a vaguely Tex-Mex combo of battered deep-fried items before heading to Lohja's premium attraction, the limestone mines (which I have previously reviewed for this website). On the way we took a wrong turning and found ourselves at the museum we had almost visited the day before; a heavily tattooed, pierced and goatee-bearded museum attendant kindly pointed us in the right direction. I liked him and, for a moment, I wanted to stay and look round the little museum but the limestone mine was exerting a greater pull.

Back in town we followed the sound from a basement bar and found ourselves in another curious Lohja establishment where we heard some familiar voices - the bickering couples from the previous evening. While the regulars stared we tried to watch the televised football without appearing concerned but we could manage to brazen out only one beer then fled. Fleeing was becoming a recurring theme of our stay in Lohja.

Alas that evening the library pub was not open so we drank a couple of beers in our room before heading out for dinner at the only place open - the same place we'd had lunch. We were the only diners the whole time we were in there and without anywhere else to go we ate slowly, not leaving until the staff were cashing up.

Walking back to the guesthouse we encountered two very smartly dressed but very drunk middle-aged men who tried to speak to us. We told them we were English and they said 'We are very hungry and need to eat. Where can we eat?' I told them that almost everywhere was closed now but that I thought there was a Chinese restaurant around the corner that might be open, at which suggestion the two men started screaming in what they clearly thought were Chinese accents and pulling at their eyelids in what they thought was a very amusing parody of Chinese people. We crossed the road and left them to it. At least Helsinki was a night's sleep and an hour away.....
I would recommend a visit to Lohja to see the lake, the museum and the limestone mine, but just come for the day.

Summary: Scenic place, scary folks