* Prices may differ from that shown
proxam has challenged us to write about where we live. the only condition is that we must have my home town, in the title. tulsa is a small city, oklahoma. there are about 400,000 people who live here. i grew up in north tulsa. i went to the lombard school, for six years. if you visit tulsa you can see my school, (because it is one of the landmarks of the city), and is now a street school. our first big shopping centre opened in the 1960's. it is called the osage mall. my mother couldn't drive, and i was glad that it was near our house, so i could walk there. they tore it down, because of the crime in the area, and all you'll see is a cerement slab. now, we all go to the woodland hills mall. oral roberts, (a famous tv preacher), has a university here. it's a nice place to walk through.http://www.oru.edu our city planners were very smart, and they didn't tear down many of our older buildings. you can see how well they have been spruced up, in the down town area, they look just like they did in the 1920's. here is a link if you want to see some pictures i took, of tulsa oklahoma. http://groups.msn.com/SapulpaOklahoma/welcometosapulpaoklahoma.msnw i went to the tulsa central high school, that is downtown. there wasn't a big playground, so when we had free time we had fun visiting the business? their the school, to buy junk food. this school was moved, to west tulsa, in 1977. i bet the businesses miss the money they made from us. we can't afford cable television so we listen to the radio, or watch the four tv stations that you don't have to pay for. oklahoma is considered a rich state, because we have a lot of oil here. the rich people live on riverside drive. there are houses, condos and apartments, on both sides of the arkansas river. most of the nice restaurants are in the brookside district. we can only afford to go out to eat on imp
ortant occasion s. When we do go out we go to the Mentro Dinner, (for chicken fried steaks and home made pies), or to Camerelli's, (they make inexpen sive Italian food). If you visit here at the beginning of September, you can take part in the Backdoor Cajun Music Festival. You can taste Creole food, and listen to some Zydeco Music. If you want to have a good time, at night, you will find a lot of places south of downtown, on Cherry Street. The actor that was in Fried Green tomatos that play Cathy Bates husband from Tulsa Oklahome. listen to way he talk, we all sound like that from Oklahoma. Before he was famous, in 1969 and 1970 he had a late night friday night show. he host the late movie. another actor was with him, who later became famous too Gary Busey. It was very poplar among local teenagers of the Tulsa area. I hope you come an visit us real soon. If you want to know more about Tulsa the web site is: http://tulsaweb.com Thank you for taking the time to read my review. Pam
On our recent grand American West Bus Tour we had an occassion to stop in Oklahoma.(see prior opinion for background info) We did not exactly go to Oklahoma, no one goes to Oklahoma, they pass through there, it isn't a destination, just a huge empty vaccuum in the Middle of America that people need to pass through to actually get somewhere that they want to go. What is the most succinct way to describe Oklahoma? How about this, when the United States government was content with only murdering the local heathens back in the 1820s- 1840s they decided that instead of finishing them all off they would send them to the most desolate and barren place they knew of, which, you guessed it, was Oklahoma. The people that got resettled there did ultimately get the last laugh a la the bedouins in Saud, they found some Texas Tea on their land. But if you want to see oil pumps in action....I see that motion with my wrist any time that Pink is on the TV. So I was driving this school bus full of 25 eastern european women and my best friends and we stopped at a filling station near Oklahoma City (real creative, they are, name their capital after their state). At this filling station they had all these Amerind handicrafts, incidentally most were made by American Indians who had moved to China. They had all those dream catchers and tourquoise jewelry and leather dobobs and T-shirts with wolves on them, silver jewelry with stones whose names sound like Amish men, Tom toms and moccasins. These girls I had with me were very intrigued by all of this. And then the holy grail of tourist trophies...the mounted Jackelope. Now I want to mention that a certain cretin in our entourage has a habit of going to estate auctions and buying other peoples hunting trophies. Seriously, it is true, he has deer that other people shot, fish that other people caught and collector plates that other people bought all across America and Canada. I figured he'd buy one of these farm
raised Jackelopes to put on his wall. < br> What is a jackelope? A jackelope is the tacit reminder of the dangers of evolution, or should I say Eviloution. People are far more worried about species that are going extinct instead of this ferocious beast that has recently emerged in nature and should be exterminated. Even Heydrich at the Wannsee conference mentioned to that bald headed guy played by Stanley Tucci that "Wenn wir haben allen die Untermenchsen Sterben Dann den zuerst Tier sollt dem Tschackalop sterben" Basically A jackelope is a creature that is similar to a giant hare and a buck deer. It is an oddity like a platypus with no real plausible explanation to its origins, it stumps the creationists and atheists alike. American Indian lore ascribes magic and punishment, while others talk about the scientist Yakob who used science to create this malicious fiend after he created white people. A jackelope is basically a giant Hare but he has a rack of razor sharp antlers on his head. He destroys crops by the hectare. Did you know that rabbits were introduced to Britain as an act of war? Likewise Jackelopes threaten the world with starvation, all crops West of the Mississipii river are in danger of Jackelopes unless these killer bees finally show up to annialate every living thing. Some scientists have said the first pair of jackelopes to cross the Mississippi, where no natural predators such as the condor, wolves or Crocodiles live, will be an"Ecological Armageddon". The American farmers feeds 36 people, likewise each mature Jackelope by his destruction starves 15 Somalians per year. Jackelopes were first discovered by Europeans during Coronados expedition across America's southwest in the 16th century. He also saw the first tornado which terrified him and his men, but the priest Antonio Las Casas at one point wrote that they prayed another tornado would come and sweep away all the Chacalopas. Later Lewis
and Clark went across the Lousiana purchase with disdain and disbelief of the "Silly swarthy superstitious Spanairds" and their stories of rabbits. Must I remind you the name of Spain, Espana, comes from the Phoenecian word for land of rabbits? A spanaird know what a rabbit is. After 7 of Lewis and Clarks men were lost to rabid Jackelope attacks The young USA tried to cancel the check they had given France to buy the Lousiana Purchase but this satsfaction garuntee pledge was not honored.` Anyways one can buy a dead jackelope, or jackelope postcards right next to a hunting licence for Jackelopes at most reputable filling stations. The licences are sold right next to the fake lottery tickets and Osama BinLaden hunting licence. I feel that having the licences next to the OBL licences insult OBL, he at least has some perceived purpose for killing lots of people while Jackelopes kill for fun. My tour group of Czechs and Hungarians were amazed by Jackelopes. They are a well kept secret as the USA tourism board doesn't want to keep people out of the National parks due to irrational fears, for instance a person is only 2543% more likely to be gored by a Jackelope than mauled by a bear at Yellowstone park or only 4537% more likely to be shoved into the Grand Canyon by a vicious Jackelope than being bitten by a venomous snake there. One of the girls with us was always boasting how she was the second member of greenpeace in Ufa Russia and always pushing her Green-Gia-Earth first crap on us. The Czechs didn't like her anyways. So the coolest Czech this tall brunette with a nice.....smile, named Hanka who had almost made the Czech archery team in 2002 asked if she could shoot a Jackelope. It sounded like a good idea. We paid .97 cents for a licence and prepared for battle. On the way out to the bus we met an elderly Indian Man who the girls figured was a medicine man due to his smelling sort of mediciny at 9am. They asked i
f he was a shaman and could tell them about Jackelopes. He shook his head and mumbled, but a wink and a half pint of Kesslers got him to explain that the great spirit made a creature to punish Brother Wolf for his vanity and sister Owl for her arrogance. This gave the girls great relief. We decided to camp in a campsite that night. I stopped at a thrift bakery store to get some bait since I assumed Jackelopes would like snack cakes. I also made a stop at the local gun shop and bought me a few extra 308s. Yep, it was AK time. We got out our guns from our hidden compartment in the bus and prepared for war. We hung out that night and had a campfire with our neighbors, the only other people at our desolate campgrounds who were a nice pair of couples from Korea and their 4 teenage daughters (my legal counsel has cautioned me to not further mention them or any activity that took place in the shower on Thursday night and this will be very poignant when I cavalierly discuss our other infractions). Apparently the man was a big shot at some company that he said made VCRS or Cars or Ships or a bunch of stuff. I was too busy ridiculing his accent to pay attention to what he was saying. He said it is crowded in Korea and too much people so he likes Oklahoma where nothing is going on and he can relax. He said in Oklahoma the people are relatively nice to Koreans because they haven't lost any jobs to Korean Industry since they never had jobs to begin with. We drank all that guys beer and ate all of his beef. There is good local beef in Oklahoma. People think all the Okies left during the Dust Bowl but that was some story a guy made up in Grapes of Wrath just so no more people would move to Oklahoma. We told the one girl that evening that if a virgin would sit in the forest alone and sing a Jackelope would come and lay his head on her lap. We chose her because she wore a shirt that said "True love waits" in the Hungarian language and al
ways made faces at the girls who were having fun in America. We had her sit there for 3 hours singing this band called "Tri Sestry" songs while we went back to the Lee's trailer and watched the Sooner games. It is a crime in Oklahoma to do anything but watch the Sooners Football on TV when they play. Oklahoma has a fine tradition of Boxers, tough guys (john wayne) and football. We went back and told her she must no really be a virgin since no Jackelopes came and she started balling and in her Czech tears we gathered that she believed her cousin didn't count because there was a condom involved. So we went to bed. At about 3am were heard what we assumed was a pack of Jackelopes raiding our food which I conveniently left laying on our picnic table. Jackelopes are known to be very fast with an incredible start. Well they weren't faster than my subsonic 308s. If I have to explain why I am using subsonics on this mission you are too shallow to appreciate my expertise. We really let the pack of Jackelopes have it. And a certain Ms Semecova let Mr Lee's $37,000 fifth wheel motor home have it with an arrow or two. Of course Mr Lee had to come over and see what the commotion was and he had a super electric torch made by his firm that he used to examine the carnage. It wasn't a Jackelope we nailed, they all got away, but the more cumbersome and rare Brown Prairie bear that they hunted with in a symbiotic partnership wasn't so lucky. We had nailed him a good 10 times. I kinda freaked out. I knew that a dead endangered species was not part of a good tour. Mr Lee was particularily interested in the bear. He asked me if I knew how rare the bear was. I thought he was going to get all holier than thou on me and call the WIldlife rangers and I was starting to seriously think about how many rounds of ammo I had left, and I am looking at Mikey and Popeye like wondering if we were gonna have to "sanitize" the scen
e to protect ourselv es. So Mr Lee gets real wierd on us, then he asks me "You will sell me the Gallbladder and two of the paws". I laughed at him. I said why do you want two of the paws and not all four. He bowed his head in shame and said, "I already bring shame to my ancestors to ask a great hunter to sell me the gall bladder, and not offer him half, how can I do the dishonor to suggest that you, an honorable hunter not have the paws to make soup?& quot; I told him that I was more of a KFC kinda guy and asked excatly what the going price for bear paws was. The guy offered me $7700 for a bear carcass that I was wondering how the hell I would get rid of, I would have given him a rubber check for $200 to get rid of it and he was offering me, lowballing me for 8g? I told him he could have the whole thing for 10 grand. He paid cash money. Now that is survival of the fittest in action, some bloke can get faboulously rich by flashing thousands of cash in front of biker trash Americans with assault rifles out in the wilderness. Mrs Lee made Bear Paw soup but we ate KFC that MR Lee had flown in by a helicoptor that conveniently brough a few drums of a substance with a high Ph. We all sat around the fire and smoked crack cocaine and they all sang "fwor hes a jowwy good fewwow" for me for my hunting skills. (I couldn't shoot for crap, I just knew to aim to the center of the pile of twinkies) The money we got really helped our trip. The girls knickers all got a bit more looser when we threw money around like fools. We wasted all the money at clubs and malls in California but we saved a few hundred bucks to pay for all the inevitable abortions we would need. I really don't know much about Oklahoma, not that there is much worth knowing. I had a good time there and maybe youcould too. I never got to shoot me a jackelope though. I did learn about Bears when I got home. Apparently it is grotsquely
wasteful to kill a bear and not sell the gall bladder to Asians. Bears produce something called ursodeoxycholic acid, UCDA which some Asians value as a medicine. The paws are just delicious. I hope that the jackelopes that hang out with bears don't kill them for sport because that would be a terrible shame. Mr Lee actually cheated me on the bear. A fresh bear is like the ultimate dream, an unheard of luxury, it is virtually priceless. Oh well live and learn. For instance I learned that some people actually go out in the woods for bear hunting, I always thought "bear hunting" was going out to bars to find other large handsome gay men, you learn something new every day.
Oklahoma Nooooo...not the song, the state:-) When my family moved from California to Oklahoma I was crest-fallen. I loved visiting California and the thought of swapping it for some mid west ramshackle cowboy town really did not appeal to me at all. There wasn't even a beach for 1000 miles and.....who goes to Oklahoma on holiday? Well, we did and if you get the chance, you should. One glance at my itinerary filled me with dread, a 14hour journey on my own with two children then aged four and eight. We were going to Okla for seven weeks, my husband was joining us for the last three and we would travel back together. But.....we still had to get there. The send off from Edinburgh was wonderful, except for the fuss that only two sets of grand-parents can cause at a check-in desk, at this point I realised that they still thought I was 12 and totally incapable of doing anything for myself. The relief, as we boarded our plane for the initial leg of the journey, was incredible. An hour and a half later we arrived at Amsterdam and were whisked in a transporter to our North West terminal just in time to catch our main flight. The next nine hours to Memphis dragged but eventually we reached our second stop-off and had an hour in the airport. We arrived in Okla at 10.30p.m. to temperatures of 80 degrees. After a couple of days recovery, we set out to explore. Temperatures were reaching 100 degrees but as everything is air-conditioned, it really wasn't a problem for us. I was pleasantly surprised at what this state had to offer in the way of history, culture and childrens' activities. My sister and her husband have four children and as he was travelling a lot, it was left to us to herd our six children in a people carrier to wherever their little hearts desired. The difference in going to an American State which is not a recognised holiday destination is that you get to meet real people, o
nes who are genuinely happy to meet you, give you advice and make sure you have a wonderful time. Everyone loved the British accents and the children were fussed over time and time again. We visited the Water Park. It was phenominal, acres of land turned into a water paradise with every conceivable flume, slide, pool and play area. It was spotlessly clean and full of rather attractive life guards :-) The other arm of the Water Park was Frontier City, along the lines of Alton Towers, except it was much bigger, much more to do and no queues. The surrounding gardens were so well kept and they genuinely loved children. I mention these two theme parks together because they are treated as one in the pricing package. The astonishing thing is that for a year's entry the price is $60 per person (around £40). This enables you to go to either or both parks every day (April - September) without any further charge!!!!! Could that ever happen here!!!!!! We bought a year's membership for everyone, even although we were only there for seven weeks and we certainly got exceptional value for money. Another amazing deal was the zoo, again laid out in beautiful surroundings with great care paid to the needs of the animals. Spacious enclosures and imaginative layout really did enhance the whole experience. The cost of this was $50 per family. This was for a family pass for up to 10 people Jan - Dec. The Kirpatrick Centre was the most amazing place for adults and children alike. It was a hands-on science museum, aviation museum and Richard Scarry Town. We spent 8 hours there and had to drag the children (and the adults) away when it closed in the evening. The surprising thing was that the Centre came as part of the zoo package, so the cost of that was nil. There were so many other places like the Cowboy Hall of Fame, Bricktown, The County Fair etc. far too many to list here and all at the most incredible p
rices. Food Oklahoma has the highest percentage of restaurants per head in the USA. There is a street which is two miles long and is made up of restaurants alone, on both sides of the road. The food is so varied, covering everything from Cajun, Mexican, Italian through to Indian. The children ate free in most places and were always given toys, games, etc. to amuse them while they waited. As for the adults, well......our most expensive meal was in a very plush Indian restaurant, where we had our own private dining room for 4 (the restaurant had 10 private dining rooms and one large public dining area). The cost of a five course meal for 4....a mere $80 (around £55) and it included free margueritas. Shopping A shopper's paradise, all I really should say on that one is that I went with two suitcases and came home with nine. I have never shopped like that before or since but with sales offering 80% off the original price (which was low to start with), who could resist. Even my husband became a shopaholic, in fact, even the children wanted to go to the mall as often as possible. :-) The absolute highlight of the holiday was a trip to the original setting of the musical "Oklahoma". I really don't like musicals, I worked in theatre for many years and we never handled a musical. However, never in my theatre experience have I seen such a spectacle as this show. It was set in an original indian settlement and although modified for visitors, original teepees and general village life was represented. There were displays of Indian dances and cowboy skills such as lassooing and target shooting. The show itself was held on an outdoor stage, all the sets were brick built and permanent. Real horses and carriages were used and the music and dancing were beyond explanation. The seating area was carved into the facing hillside and the overall experience was second to none. Unbelievably, seven week
s was just not long enough and I am desperate to return. The beach.....Ohhh, I forgot about that within the first day as we utilised the many outdoor pools and hot-tubs. The tornados....one fact which is never reported is that the tornado season is only 6 weeks long and provided you avoid the months of May and early June, the chances of seeing one are extemely rare. We had one amazing thunder-storm but certainly no hint of a tornado. In summation, I would say that if you really want to see America and it's people, stay away from the over-hyped states of Florida and California and travel inland to Oklahoma. It is the experience of a lifetime. You will be surprised at how far your money will go and how much there is to do. You will also learn far more about the country and how different the people are from state to state. I would love to back this year but I have just found out that they are moving to Minneapolis......and I don't want to go to some frozen north American outback town......but I know I shall and I know I will be pleasantly surprised:-)
"Oklahoma is a state located in the south-central region of the United States. Its nickname is the "Sooner State", and is part of a region commonly known as the American "Heartland." Oklahoma City is the state's capital and largest city. The Congressional Quarterly and Census report places Oklahoma in the Southern United States."