| Product: |
Other locations... |
| Date: |
11/06/01 (58 review reads) |
| Rating: |
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Advantages: variety, exciting, clean
Disadvantages: expensive, no good food for animal or person
The Toledo Zoo is in the southern part of Toledo...shut up that ain't funny, Toledo isn't so bad...really, ok than tell me a city even three times the size that has a better art museum? And Tony Packos.....sorry about that, there was some noise from people ripping on Toledo. Toledo is in the Northern corner of Ohio an hour from Detroit and two hours from Cleveland. I personally believes it belongs to Michigan and will be the first to take up arms once teh NATO policy of supporting balkanization and nation splitting backfires and comes up here in the USA. There was a war in the pumpkin patch over ownership of Toledo in the 1800s.
The only way you ever heard of Toledo is that the Jeep Autos are made there and that that little jezebel Katie Holmes from Dawson's Creek is from there as well as ultimate fighter Mark Kerr. You might have heard of Toledo from that Jamie Farr's Character on MASH (by the Way they claim Ellen Degeneres had the first openly gay prime time sitcom main star...hello, Radar, Trapper John? Blind.Blind.blind)
So what I like most about Toledo is their Zoo which is actually in Maumee (we took lots of teh Indians names for places before we took their lives) Anyways our "Indians unlike yours in Britain can't make a good curry) So it is easy to get there off the turnpike/Toll road or from I-75.
So whats good about the zoo? Really its just a normal zoo, I just am writing about it because I can't remember anything about any other zoo. It costs like $7.50 to get in for Adults and like $4 for kids which seems kind of steep but you can get a family membership lasting one year for like 52 bucks that gets you into all teh zoos in America.
The Zoo has all the animals and stuff like any other place but also some kind of museum that has some diodramae of naked cavemen that I always liked as a kid, there is also a kids playground that is pretty nice and they have this train that goes round and r
ound. Personally when I was there I noticed that the engineer of the train really does not do a very good job of stretch braking when he stops the train. You too, will probaly recommend or suggest to the guy that he leaves his throttle open to at least the first notice when he makes his initial air reduction. He just throttles off and lets the train smack him in the ass, or the guy just lays on full service and snaps everyones back. But I think that was the other guy they had before. The guy this year was pretty good, I know that we didn't really have a time schedule but, to put it bluntly I wouldn't assign that guy to any hot auto-parts or mail train runs anytime soon.
Ok the exhibits, lets get to some of them or my numerous detractors will start in on me and tell me if I don't start writing better I won't get any reads and not make any money...boo-hoo, I live in America and can't get the money anyways so I don't care.
First off there is stuff I will probaly forget so don't think just because I don't mention a certain alligator or Yeti that they don't have one.
They have a nice Polar Bear village that has like glass that you can see him go underwater. Even though Toledo is on Lake Erie fish is expensive here, and although teh Zoo policy vaguely is against feeding the animals I have found that the bears really like Lake Erie Yellow Perches. I usually get some flack from the employees for carrying a basket of fish and a bushel of corn into the Zoo. But basically I have found that most low wage earners back off when you lift up your shirt so they can see the handle of your gun stuck in your waistband (one queer thing about teh states that is so unfair it is the low wage searners (taxiis, filling station workers, etc that are liable to get killed at work, they know it better than anyone and this knowledge can be used to get exceptional service)
The Gorillas or whatever the right word for the p
eaceful old men of the mountain, exhibit is kinda cool. They all have swahili names (rather than Norse I suppose, I guess Olaf the Alpha male or Freyja the new female don't sound right). They live in a big aquarium and play with ripped up paper all day. They also play with their feces and seem genuinely depressed that they have no way to throw feces at the women who come and visit the apes at the wrong time.
There is an aviary but I haven't gone in there since the sixth grade when I quite literall got pooped on in there. there are probaly birds in there.
Theres some kind of building full of water tanks where things that swim live. There is a Octopus but he is shy and lazy and just sits like a blob in the corner.
Theres some cool reptiles but they are lazy too. The savannah exhibit (its cool when they name exhibits after deceased porn stars) has these MeerKats (that means water cat in Afrikaans, an odd name for these little weasel cats who look at you), but to see anything you got to get lucky since its one of these new happy animal joints who want the animals in a natural environment that means that you can't see them much. that goes for teh Elefants, Camel-Leopards and Rhinos.
The cats have center stage with a big arena. It is too far to throw them a box of catnip.
My favorite thing is the African wild dogs, they are like dingos but have a dumb vacant look as they pace around but they are real neat.
You can't get much good food there and then they jerk with you about what you can have, like no straws and stuff. Eat at the Indian place you will drive past to get there.
The best time to go is around christmas when some poor bloke has to string up exactly 3 million Christmas lighten in the form of animals. I wonder how they keep track and make sure they don't really only have 2,999,998 lights? But it is specatcular and nice to see.
My only suggestion to make this zoo nicer is they nee
d to sell more food that both people and animals like and they could put up signs telling what foods they animals prefer. They probaly get tired from fruitcake and soda crackers. The other thing is I would hire someone to go stir up the animals and get them on a schedule where they sleep at night, it always takes me a few weeks to get used to a swing shift but it scan be done. The animals are so lazy and need provoked. Plus instead of having somebody running around trying to use big Greichjes words about animals they should hire someone to train them to do tricks. Mountain goats and vultures can probaly learn at least to roll over and play dead and probaly I bet something like a Pantera can learn to play fetch if you worked hard enough.
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