WALL PARK - A REGULAR GUEST'S REPLY (Pontin's)

Member Name: DARRIN01

Product:	Pontin's
Date:	05/08/02 (570 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: PONTIN'S POUNDS, GREAT ATMOSPHERE, QUIETNESS. NO THREAT OF VIOLENCE

Disadvantages: BAR CLOSING TOO EARLY AT NIGHT (ALL HOLIDAYS), NO CHILDREN'S ENTERTAINER, NO RESIDENT BAND

2001
September 10th to 17th

I feel its time to give a positive review of Wall Park, by someone who has been holidaying down at the camp since 1994, take out a couple of years at Camber Sands. I feel that its unfair that the bluecoats and staff has been represented badly by people who only gone down there once, never to come back, and I feel that I should type out this review to redress the balance. I paid £330 for the holiday, which £22 was insurance and bed linen, why pay that amount, well where I book has a very good reason to book there.

The bluecoats and staff that I met were friendly, courteous and always made the guests like myself feel welcome, and this carried on during the week I was there. They always provided good entertainment, either in The Fun Factory (former Manhattan Bar), or in The Queen Victoria (former Cottage Bar). It was also fun to hang out in the Queen Vic at night, to watch people sing karaoke badly like myself definitely, and just to have a good laugh with guests, bluecoats and staff. Even becoming the laugh myself in the Man of the Week show, that was funny, silly and I'm glad that I didn't win as I totally dried up when trying to mock chatting up Mandi.

It is a wonderful idea whoever suggested that there should be individual bluecoat show in the Queen Vic, as it shows more of their talent, than just a bluecoat show where there are ten to twelve people participating. The shows were excellent, and greatly enjoyed, but the bluecoat shows were not the only entertainment in there. There were two comedians who entertained in there as well, and were well received by the audience.

There were two excellent shows in The Little Shop Of Horrors on the Sunday Night, and The Wizard Of Oz on the Thursday Afternoon, but the show that was beyond excellent was the Dirty Dancing show on Thursday Night. In all the years I have watched many bluecoat shows, the Dirty Dancing show was one of the very best I
have ever watched, the singing and dancing was absolutely brilliant. Its a shame that I am typing this eleven months after the event, as it was a show well worth recommending to anyone.

For anyone saying that its a biased look at Wall Park, they are correct, I just feel that the views of people who do enjoy the camp and keep holidaying there year after year need to be represented, and that I will be going down there soon to be what should be another great weeK.

2002
September 7th to 14th

I've just been again, and as I am a traditionalist, as far as I am concerned when it comes to going on holiday, I prefer Saturday to Saturday and preferring to pay the full amount (in January) and take advantage of the offers from issue one of the brochure, with the same offer, through where I always book. This year I have paid £292 to come here, (£22 for bed linen and insurance) enjoying a seven-night holiday for the price of six, with the offer of £81 in Pontin's pounds, which the Queen Vic would gratefully receive the bulk of over the week. I suppose that from experience that I preferred to book a week in this time of year, as by the time I get down there most people are down on short breaks in September.

The only reason is that I'm mentioning the bluecoats and staff by name is because they absolutely deserve it, as they provide me with not one, but two great holidays in 2002, the second of which is below. They, and the rest of the staff, the bar staff, and all the other staff deserve absolute respect for making this probably one the great years, and left me with great memories.

The week saw changes from last year with the choice of entertainments in the evenings in both the Fun Factory and the Queen Vic, that could be chosen, for example on Wednesday night you could've had the choice of C1D in the Fun Factory, or head into the Queen Vic and watch Zac Bauman in there. The entertainment I did watch, all the ones tha
t took place in the Fun Factory I could highly recommend Jenny Jones, whose routine is one of the funniest that I have ever watched, especially the routine on what they put into their gravy for Sunday dinner, and the way that she uses audience participation is absolutely wonderful. If ever she appears in your area, go and watch her, she is absolutely decries the Garry Bushell theory that women are not funny in their own right.

In another area of comedy, the adult comedy of Kevin Kaye is also wonderful, although some people thought he is very rude to the audience, but that is only on-stage, and he is never rude to anyone off-stage. I give this from personal experience when he did a joke about me, when buying his joke books, but said 'alright mate' when I was buying a beer. He has also a line in getting the best of order of all of us when he feels that the audience is talking too much and not listening to him. Great show and well enjoyed by nearly all.

C1D, was a female vocal trio who were very attractive for males of any age, and sang some great songs, and even managed to get a hairy arsed rocker like myself to dance along, okay I'm lying it was two bluecoats who got me up there, Gemma and Jade. But it was well enjoyed and they didn't just sang the usual rubbishy chart stuff by going back to 1960 and 1970s soul and dance which I was well pleased to hear. They looked absolutely stunning and sang brilliantly, even out-singing some of the versions that constitute as chart music.

Kicks 'n' Tricks was a varied show of illusion, singing and dance, and it well enjoyed, even if at times the backing tapes did let them down. For instance, when they did 'River Deep Mountain High' the backing sounded like more 'Wall of Yahama' rather than 'Wall Of Sound'. Yet I found it to be an excellent show, and amazed by their versatility in stretching out the show to two forty-five minutes shows. There was to be seve
ral illusionist acts that were here during the week and they were excellent, including Martyn James and Phil Blakemore. There was also other shows which I all enjoyed, including being part of the dancing line-up when Mitch Francis performed, doing the Full Monty dance to 'Hot Stuff.'

Now for some personal experiences. I took part in The Man of the Week in 2001, and as it was my first day this year, and treated this holiday as a marathon not a sprint, I decided not to take part in this year. I was very glad not to take part, as when Jennie (The Assistant Entertainment Manager) called out for people to volunteer, a drunken women who was sitting next to me completely uninvited tried to push me to get on stage, and rather impolitely had to tell her after a while to go away. This was nothing compared to the man who was drunk on stage and made it a strained show to watch. I felt sorry for both Jennie and Gemma when the woman started to make a conversation with Jennie. The best news I received was a few nights later when I discovered the two of them were married. It's so true to say that they didn't half deserve each other. There was one or two others I met during the week who were just the same nightmare but I'll ignore them.

A good friend of mine said, when relaying these experiences back home, said that you'll appreciate the good guests when confronted with the bad ones, and that was certainly true when I met a lovely family from Birmingham who were wondeful, very nice people. One of thought I was a sweetie, and the same person wanted to adopt Jazzy (WHY?), a couple from Portsmouth/Southampton round there (I apologise forgettng where), and a regular guest who I've known for several years and another long standing regular, Tony who I would end up talking to nearly every night and have a good old chat with, then once the Queen Victoria kicked us out (we were always the last two to leave) go and chat with the night cleaning sta
ff the only name I know is Keith (Apologies again).

There was also Mary and her husband, an older couple. I'm so pleased that they were so good to meet and hang out with them every night except the last in the Queen Vic, when sadly all of them were back home. One of the nicest incidents came when I won the bingo, with the last game in the book, which would make me come back in October for the party weekend, the last days of the summer season, and the positive ahhhs that came from the Birmingham's family direction. There are two other guests I only saw on their first day of the holiday, and sadly my last was Dave and Katie from Epsom, two more long standing guests who I knew from the mid nineties, and had a good chat about a few people, (anyone reading this go figure).

I have slightly amended this as I did not mention one thing, when the dates were for the first two holidays. As you can deduct the dates in the holidays were around September 11th. Yes I was down at the camp on the day it happened in New York and it is surreal to be down at a holiday camp when an event happens that now becomes symonous with an event you can name by just the date. It was strange to be around when it happened and even stranger to be around on that date. The big screen in the fun factory was showing the commeration on the TV with a few bluecoats around. I quietly sat there and once the one minute silence was over, preparations were made for the A Really Wild Encounter show. I felt I couldn't commerate this occasion alone and glad that Joff, Donna and Jennie were there watching it at the time.

Enough of personal observations, and back to the test that shows that the camp is only as good as the bluecoats, and that is the shows they did, both individually and as a group. There were several shows throughout the week, and I'll try to go through each of them individually. The first of the shows was the CATS show which in the week I was down ther
e was on twice, so I did not see the Chicago show during the week, due to one of them transferring to Brean Sands, and the other on holiday.

The CATS show was absolutely wonderful and it did not worry me that I saw it twice, but the dancing, the singing, and the effects were wonderful, and the way that they dressed, and the make-up they wore, made the show looked so visually pleasing that it was a privilege to watch it twice. However the opening number they did, almost made me lose myself back twenty years, when the BBC used it as the theme tune to the 1982 Football World Cup. While watching myself dancing I could also see the way that Marco Tardelli celebrating his goal in that year's final.

The other bluecoat shows, well two shows of the Blues Brothers tribute show with the Symbolicks themselves, Jazzy and Sean (The Entertainment Manager). Great music from a great time in music, the soul and blues from the 1960s, plenty of humour and plenty of a good excuse to drink while dancing and some of the audience were also used to sing backing vocals on one of the songs, and I got my moniker from Sean during the week, shall I keep it quiet. Ah what the hell, 'Jesus,' if people haven't already guessed who I am already, they will now. Don't worry he knows my real name, and so should a lot of other people too.

There were two individual bluecoat shows during the week, Kate on Monday Night, and Jennie on Friday Night. I enjoyed both shows immensely, even inadvertently listening to Jennie rehearsing on Friday Afternoon in the Fun Factory, after being down in the town eating a Chicken Phaal at the Vigilance and needing to rest my stomach and read the cpnclusion to the book I had been reading. Kate's show had a lot more humour in it, and that has developed really well, I loved the bit when she dedicated the Meredith Brooks song 'Bitch' to Geri Halliwell. Nice one Kate. Her show has really come on from the first show I saw
her do in 2000, and has really developed into a really good show.

Jennie's show was more musically based, and I was privileged to see her first show of the season, which I was very surprised at when Jennie told me, but the show would have been even better, if the best of order policy operated when the shows were on in the Queen Vic, as there was nothing worse than trying to stand near the DJ booth, and trying to hear Jennie sing when so much conversation taking place. I just wished that I went to the DJ booth and complained to Gavin and Gemma. There is a matter of respect to the artist who is trying their absolute best, and I wished they would leave and sit outside the foyer in the entertainment complex. It was also good, because the show was a lot more varied than usual and better than the previous shows I saw in 2000 and 2001. And it was also very nice to finally talk to her after the show as I hadn't previously in all the time I've been back down there after spending my 1998 and 1999 holidays at Camber Sands.

Well I written everything about the week, that needs reviewing. A few bluecoats not mentioned here are Joff, Gary, Selina, Andy and Donna, you are all great. I would also like to thank the bar staff for keeping in me in Theakstons Best Bitter during the week, especially Sue and Debbie (I've forgotten the other names, don't worry I will not forget you). Stuart, Patrick and Keith and all the others for making me so very welcome, and that goes for the second holiday I have spent as well. The only complaints comes in the disadvantages.

For those that did not wonder about me reviewing the apartment. True, some of them do need refurbishing, my advice is get out of the apartment as much as possible, do not use it like your own home and spend needless amounts of time there. I just eat, drank tea, slept, washed and changed in there so that I could use the camp fully. Myself it was functional, it had what I needed and
that is it, I understand that circumstances are different for other people.

October 25-28 2002

This was definitely an exercise in sleep deprivation, from the sleepless night before I left until I crashed out at home at midnight on Monday night I slept for a total of ten and a half hours. But what an exercise it was, from the time of arriving to the time I got home it was a weekend never to be forgotten, and well worth the £82.50, and in some senses I am thankful for the opportunity in going back down there, due to the bingo win on the penultimate night of the September holiday. It certainly will give me a lift on some of the depressing nights where I live, when it's tipping down with rain, and the only things that will get me through some moments are the laughs and general pleasure of hanging out at Wall Park, in the two holidays in 2002. I have to apologise for typing incontinence, as so much happened over the weekend, and it couldn't be ignored. All credit goes to everyone, from people I know by name, to those I forget by name.

Where do I start, well I could at the beginning, but the less said about travelling to the camp, the better. The weekend started in the Queen Vic, a place that would become a regular stopping off place between the Fun Factory and sleep in the three nights. Okay, I stopped off for several hours at a time and had a few pints. Okay, okay, more than a few pints then. I certainly didn't drink much on the first afternoon, with quizzes, party games and short individual bluecoat shows. The quiz itself introduced me to Cheryl, who I guess must have been on holiday when I was down there several weeks before. But there was no Kate, who I was told by one of them was laid off. Anyway, back to the quiz, Cheryl helped in the quiz, she answered one question, wrongly, it didn't matter I didn't win, and there was no prize either for the winner.

In between, all of that, finally after several hours of lug
ging my belongings around the place, I finally get into my apartment (173), a bit far away from the entertainment complex, but who's complaining. Wall Park, I believe is the smallest camp of the Pontin's camps, so it wasn't too bad. The afternoon ended with several bluecoat shows, the funniest being Jennie's show. For some reason she started getting pelted with coins. I discovered that she was finishing as a bluecoat and assistant entertainment manager, and travelling around the world. She also announced this on the final night, and said that she would be in Sydney for Christmas, and we'll be in Britain. Not the most tactful remark on any night, as she would have been pelted with more than coins if she said that on Friday Afternoon (I'm only joking).

It soon became apparent that great professionalism was required as both the Symbolicks were suffering from sore throats, and would probably need something to get through these final few days of the summer season (I wonder what, certainly wasn't throat drops). One of the biggest mistakes involved me, and it would be a regular pattern over the next few days, and that is being asked to take photographs of the blues, by the DJ booth, in their fancy dress, and in their best clothes. The worst single idea since being persuaded by a couple of bluecoats to take part in Give Us A Clue as captain, and then both captains doing the Wig-Wam-Bam dance that night in the Manhattan Bar. (What happened to them I wonder, one got a nice goodbye similar to Bomb The Blue, and the other became entertainment manager, rumoured to be a teacher, there's one story that is really funny about her). Oops I'm supposed to be reviewing the 2002 party weekend, not backtracking to 1995, anyway, you get the idea about me taking photographs, I'm that bad at them.

There were many cabarets that appeared during the weekend. I surprised myself by enjoying the shows from the Stars In Their Eyes winners. T
racey Shield as Celine Dion and Andrew Browning as George Michael. Not the kind of music that's to my tastes (while typing this I'm listening to The Who), but to my ears, they sung a lot better than the actual singers, two very good shows, and even got up to dance for a while to the George Michael show. The shows went on for so long, that I missed the start of the Mean Fiddlers show, which I saw back in September and really enjoyed then, and again they played Irish music, and a few songs not strictly Irish but played in the Celtic tradition, like Bob Dylan and The Beatles. Not to everybody's taste as I found out later, but I don't think they could have played all Irish songs.

Back to the weekend itself and the cabarets. Saturday afternoon saw the All Star Wrestle Mania. It was enjoyable to watch and laugh at some of the worst acting, and diving I've ever seen since Jurgen Klinsmann in his glory days of the 1990 World Cup. As usual there are two villains and two heroes, and crowd participation in cheering and shouting. There were three bouts, villain v hero made up the two, with the world's most incompetent referee since Uriah Rennie, with Sean being masters of ceremonies, and Jazzy and Gary as commentators. The first two went to the villains, with the last bout with a tag match between the heroes and villains, with the heroes winning.

Saturday evening, and the last show of the evening was the show One Foot In The Groove, or Grove as it was on the timetable in the Fun Factory. It was another case of whoever typed it, probably deserved to get bombed in the same way that Cheryl did in Bomb The Blue. Back to the show, a great show, great singing and great visually as well, although I felt that some of the songs were misrepresented as being women's songs. For instance, 'Respect' is best known for Aretha Franklin's version, but written and sung originally by Otis Redding. There was nothing I would get up to dance f
or, it was more for women really, but it was still a great show.

Sunday Afternoon, and one show that I have now watched four times over the years. It's called A Really Wild Encounter, and is presented by Neil Vaughan. The show itself, they show a few exotic creatures, including a spider, which caused the funniest moment of the weekend. I went off for a break in the toilet, and they were showing the hairy spider as usual and then just as I sat back down, Sean threw a plastic spider at the family in front of me, which caused several people in front of me, to run straight past me, thank god I wasn't another few yards to the left, as I would have been run over in the stampede. The show itself is usually an audience participation one for the children thankfully, with a quiz, and trying to suck jelly through a straw being the usual ones. A forgotten show really, in the sense I forgot to review it in the first 2002 holiday, and in 2001 as well, but an enjoyable one.

The Sunday Night show with Rikki Jay was one of the funniest shows I have ever seen. For forty-five minutes to an hour he had us in stitches. A show so funny, that to me it wouldn't have mattered that it was on two hours, I would have laughed and laughed. The best bit was when he got a little boy from the audience, and he asked what kind of dog he wanted from a balloon, and said a Labrador, which got most of the audience in stitches. You can guess that he had the kind of show that had audience participation included, and managed to include several very lucky people down at the front tables. I was sitting a table one back from the front, and didn't become part of the show. I'll gloss over Kevin Kaye, except I was called Status Quo this time, as he performed the last show of the summer season in the Queen Vic, as I reviewed him in the 2002 section.

Now for some personal observations from the holiday. I was dancing along for a while during the George Michael show, but
nearby a foursome all drunk and irresponsible, decided to dance along with their drinks and cigarettes on the dancefloor. Not wanting to endanger myself, I walked off and sat back down. But that was small beer compared to The Irritation, so named because she irritated me so much during the weekend, and I wasn't the only one as it turned out. Getting up on stage during the Mean Fiddlers show and dancing along and singing gladly off-mike. During the Kevin Kaye show becoming part of the show, by what seemed a never-ending heckle (I hoped Kevin Kaye used the thrush joke, I can't remember). But the most irritating thing came during the CATS show, when after persuading everyone on the tables to clap along, physically manhandled me to clap along. Now in all the time I have been holidaying at Pontin's, I have worked out I do not like being coerced in doing anything, if I want to clap along, do air guitar, anything, I do it for myself and no one else. Oh, the difference is if a bluecoat or the cabaret encouraged us to, no problem, I'll be doing it. The funny thing was she sat down and told her mother that I was a bloody weirdo, which was a bit pot calling the kettle black. She came up a few minutes later and apologised, but it was too late as far as I'm concerned.

Anyway, as I typed earlier, a holiday camp is only as good as the bluecoats shows. Now, I'll gloss over the shows I've already reviewed like The Blues Brothers show, and the only comment about the CATS show I'll make, that one of the pyrotechnic effects didn't go quite right and was burning for a few minutes after on stage. I was beginning to think of 'Smoke On The Water' by Deep Purple, while it was still burning away, it eventually was stamped on once or twice and it went out. Apart from the mini shows in the Queen Vic on Friday afternoon, the first proper show was The Chicago Show that I didn't get to see back in September, and a really good show it was a
s well. For those who don't know the show, it has all the hallmarks of politics. Corruption, murder, adultery, and the contemporary trend of celebrity for celebrity's sake. The show itself was wonderful, with great singing and dancing. It's a shame that I only saw it once, as I feel that I cannot review it properly, but that's the way it is. Then later on in the Queen Vic, the unbelievable sight of Joff as Michela Flat-Battery doing the Riverdance, with able assistance by either Donna or Cheryl, during the break in the Mean Fiddlers show.

Saturday, now this wasn't strictly a whole bluecoat show, but funny none the less. At Midday, finally conquering the hangover from the previous night, came Bomb The Blue. Now this is the show where all the bluecoats can be voted for, except for Sean and Jennie who counted them apparently. It didn't stop Jennie being voted for three times (four times if she stayed when I went to nominate, as I would jokingly asked for her name), and Sean once, now what person would vote for him. Someone who was wrongly accused of not clapping, when that person was clapping all along during Croc's showtime that's who, not for calling me Jesus. (Although I'm tempted to call him Beelzebub from now on). There was one other person I voted for, and he knows who it is. Each nomination cost one pound each, and going to the Royal National Lifeboat Institution charity, and the bluecoat who got most votes was Cheryl, and for a few minutes was bombed with eggs, flour, water, cooking oil and some person who threw a certain energy drink at her. That'll teach her in trying to help me and getting the only question she answered wrong. That person in the video of the event throwing the above product, which nearly came all over that person, not mentioning any me, oops names.

The Saturday night show they did was Step Into Christmas, a good show, one that would be better when the season to be jolly comes about. I
t was the first time they did it, and I was watching them rehearse it for a while when I arrived the day before. As usual most of the songs, are usually a mixture of the awful 'Last Christmas', 'Mistletoe and Wine. A bit mawkish as far as I'm concerned, but it brightened up with the singing of 'Merry Xmas Everybody' and even me tried to sing along, even at the point that it goes 'It's Christmas' at the end. A bit of an aside but they even gave out Shortbread Biscuits, which my parents greatly enjoyed when I got home. Then before the Blues Brothers show, came The Soul Sisters show, with Joff, Gary, Jennie, Andy and Jade, doing songs like My God. Funny to see them dressed up in nun's habit.

Then there were the Bluecoat Oscars, in which the bluecoats all came out dressed to the nines. Anyway, for those out there who didn't catch who won what and what they won, here they are:
Gareth Gates Award for Ridiculous Hairstyle: JOFF
Brad Pitt Award for Male Pin-Up: ANDY
Joanne Lumley Award for Female Pin-Up: JADE
Edwina Currie Award for Biggest Bluecoat Gossip (In Association with Ulrika Jonsson): JOFF
Chris Evans Award for Microphone Happy: JAZZY
Kevin The Teenager Award For Bluecoat Strop: CHERYL
Worst Timekeeper Of All: DONNA
Hypochondria Award: ANDY
Pete Waterman Award For Superior Talent: JADE
Richard Madeley Award For Ego: JAZZY
Bluecoat Of The Year 2002: JADE
Special Recognition Award (Only voted by Sean and Jennie): JOFF

I forget to say that there were theme evenings and days. On the Friday Evening was the fancy dress, Jade as Supergirl, Donna as Doris Day, Gavin as Elvis Presley, Jennie as Cleopatra, Gemma as Dorothy (Wizard Of Oz), Selina as Pocahontas, Jazzy as an English king (I think), Cheryl as Marion Monroe, then how I could forget Sean as the Phantom of the Opera, Gary as Woody. The only two I didn't have any idea were Andy as maybe a beefeater'
and Joff in drag, but what as (certainly not Klinger from MASH). Sunday morning and afternoon was pyjamas day, and for any askers I would have been arrested for indecent exposure if I wore what I do to bed.

I judged the kids fancy dress on Friday night, and after some deliberation I went for The Milky Bar Kid, with my other judge. Originally I went for Ali G, but I felt that the winner was far cuter. The two Gold Diggers show was good as well, but during the adult show I wish I had the cunning of Baldrick when one of the questions came up, a seven-night holiday up for grabs was the prize. I got that right, but got the next one wrong, too many followed me when I casually walked to the right answer in the one I really knew. It is like Runaround, that 1970s children's show by Mike Reid. Even better was the kids equivalent with a lot of prizes up for grabs, including a Play Station 2, as the top prize. The kid who won, had the sense not to believe one of the bluecoats when it went to ask a bluecoat, I can't remember who he asked, but it was the right answer. This was more Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, with the three options. A funny quiz, even when the kid wasn't getting the hint for one of the answers when Sean was shouting the answer at him.

The kids show were the usual, Safari Sam (Gary) getting thrown into the swimming pool, party dances, and disaster. I got up and did the party dances on the last night, I was terrible, and yes I did the Ketchup song dance. I did the Music Man, which I did okay, but I was unbelievably bad during Chuckles the cheeky monkey dance. And on a happier note, Captain Croc got married to Zena the Zebra, which was wonderfully, with Jazzy giving the ceremony the proper recognition it deserved, well he bluffed it a bit, but nicely done none the less. The Croc show with all the characters was great, and it's nice that 'Crocodile Rock' by Elton John is used as Croc's anthem. Then there was the Hi-De-
Hi show which consisted of horse and jockey, with me as the horse, and my knees were sore after that, and tug of war, all inside the Fun Factory on Sunday Morning, when I was feeling well, strange. I said, 'I think so' to a few bluecoats who asked if I'm feeling all right. It was a strange feeling to wake up and not feel hungover from spending the previous night drinking, so that's the reason.

Well, that's about it for the shows, so what does a person like me do to pass the time between shows in the day. Well I get into a habit that is difficult to do with a fairly large Vinyl and CD collection, multi-channel TV and the Internet at home, and that is to read the papers every day, and whatever paperbacks I bring down with me. Too many distractions, so it's good to come down to do that. Another great excuse to come down, and one that is shared by a lot of people is to drink, something that I only do in the Queen Vic after midnight this time, 11PM normally, apart from the first day to settle in. I was kept in Theakston's Best Bitter all weekend, wonderful, not so much the price, but the chance to drink after normal licensing hours.

I did some dancing, some air guitar, some air Hammond organ, and plenty of singing along during the shows and karaoke, and I would have done the karaoke to show the world that to quote Billy Connolly about his singing, 'I have the voice like a goose farting in the fog' to Come Together, but they couldn't find the laserdisc and sadly my chance of being the worst singer of the weekend couldn't happen. But I did become one of twenty singing to 'All You Need Is Love'(was it that song, I can't remember) with various bluecoats, Kevin Kaye and a few guests singing. There were some great moments, and enough for a psychiatrist to ask some serious questions about. Like, why would anyone put on 'Wired For Sound' by Cliff Richard, and why would people dance along to it, jus
t one of the great mysteries of the weekend. Another was the fact that someone fell asleep on the second night, I laughed, but I'm not sure if it was The Irritation or not. I drank plenty and took full advantage of the fact that the clocks went back an hour on the second night, now who informed Jennie of that I wonder, after she hoped the bar would stay open until 5AM. One other question was asked of me by Jennie, why was I so tall, well the answer is, I get put on a rack three times a week, I forget her name.

Three guests from September were back. Mary and her husband, who sadly I never found out his name, but they got a photo of me, pissed holding a pint of beer on the final night. Then there's my fellow vampire brother Tony, I call us that because we are the two who stay up the latest out of all the guests and every night we ended up having a chat and then join the night-cleaning staff. Plus I met some new guests who are now regulars from Birmingham, Wolverhampton and Gloucester. Nice people and my mate from back home were so right about guests. (See 2002 review) The only sad thing was I did most of my talking when it was Monday, and everyone was going home. The sad thing was that I took no photos, but I can't take photos and never could. (ANYONE OUT THERE, CONTACT ME, MY PROFILE HAS MY E-MAIL ADDRESS).

The last night came the goodbyes for the summer season. Sean thanked many people, including all the staff for what has been according to him one of the best seasons ever, and I fully agree with him. I even stood up for the bar staff, as they kept me in beer during the holiday. Many thanks went out, and I thought that was it, until well it had to happen The Irritation and her family came up and said a few words, they handed over a few presents (nice touch), then they started to speak, it just went over my head what they said, especially The Irritation. It was not to mention embarrassing, as this was the bluecoats chance rightfully to
have their complete moment of glory, and the feeling that they have accomplished something special.

Then, I was looking forward to the bar being open to at least six o'clock in the morning, when someone decided that at four o'clock the bar would close. Wonderful, I was going great guns drinking and would have loved to carry on for a couple more hours at least, I was hanging out with some great people and in some ways very sad that it wouldn't be the same again in this way. My annoyance at this even carried on to the next night at home, but at four o'clock the bar closed, and that was it. There were too many people in the bar still drinking and it was a waste, after me and Tony's nightly talk with the night cleaning staff, I went back and packed away. Not a great thing to do after several pints of beer, better to do with a hangover when I got up, and sadly went to bed at five o'clock.

Anyway, most of Monday was sitting around waiting and walking. I certainly did not want to go home early, as that night I was taking part in a pub quiz back home, plus the fact I'm captain and money's involved. If I had gone home, I would have crashed out and not gone to the quiz. Anyway spent most of the day thinking about the night before and saying my goodbyes to a few people in one case really sad, walked around an empty camp several times then finally after what seemed forever finally left the camp. I made good time travelling, surprising after the bad weather suffered over the weekend everywhere else. Apart from Friday when it was changeable, tipping down one minute, sunny the next, the weather was windy, but mild all weekend with not much rain. Went to the pub quiz back home, almost won the jackpot someone else did and we were only one number out (any people ever played Quizgo), got home at 11PM that night, and not so much fell asleep, but crashed out at midnight and slept for eleven hours. What a holiday.

20th June 2004

I have decided not to do any more updates, so for those of you who would have liked my review of the two holidays of 2003, it was very hard even to follow up and harder to say it fresh. For those who will be down there see ya either on Saturday 11th September and Friday 22nd October 2004.

Summary: