REVISED The Alternative Tourist Guide (London in General)

Member Name: spacelamb

Product:	London in General
Date:	24/01/01 (708 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: avoid the crowds

Disadvantages: you don't get to see a load of waxworks (oh dear)

Throw away your guidebook. The 'changing of the guard' is not exciting and no clothes are removed. Take away the innuendo from Big Ben and, again, you're left with an 'attraction' that will give you less than four minutes of pleasure. Yes, it's big. But let's get it in perspective: it's a CLOCK. Supremely un-entertaining. If you only have a few days in London it's easy to waste time (and money) in tourist traps - so here are my top ten suggestions of good stuff to do in the capital, and none of them are expensive or cheesy. Oh, except the Cheese World visit. Only joking.

1. TATE MODERN

Description: London’s newest and best (modern) art gallery
Address: Bankside, SE1
Tube: Southwark / Blackfriars / St Paul’s (when millennium footbridge opens)
Telephone: 020 7887 8000
Web: www.tate.org.uk/modern/default.htm
Price: Free

I apologise for putting such an obvious first choice, but this gallery is even better than jam sandwiches and thus had to go first. Not only does the Tate Modern house some of the world’s finest modern art, but the building itself (a former power station) is also breathtaking – and massive, covering seven floors. Exhibits are displayed by theme rather than chronologically, which offers a really fresh way of looking at work, and also begins to tackle problems of inaccessibility. Facilities include the obvious shop, café, audio guides etc but also an excellent public access study centre.

2. DOCKLANDS LIGHT RAILWAY

Description: Train service connecting central London and the east end
Tube: Runs from Bank / Tower Gateway to various east London destinations
Telephone: 020 7918 4000
Web: www.dlr.co.uk
Price: Varies depending on distance travelled (approx £2-4 for adults)

Yes I know. I slagged off a clock and now I’m telling you to ride a train. But riding the DLR is fantastic. It runs part underground but
mostly overground, and looks like a monorail. You can ride right at the front because there are no ‘drivers’ as such, and the route has spectacular and contrasting views of the city – the Dome and Canary Wharf are en-route for example, but you can also see old east end terraces lying next to ultra modern docklands developments. What’s more, unlike other London transport you can nearly always get a seat (though you may have to fight off small children for the ‘driving’ seat). Choo choo.

3. WAGAMAMA

Description: Japanese noodle restaurant
Address: 7 London sites including Covent Garden and Soho (see website for details)
Web: www.wagamama.com
Price: £5-10 per head

Wagamama is quite simply the best place to eat in London. Chirpy waiting staff bring you huge bowls of steaming Japanese noodles, soups and so on within ten minutes of your arrival and you can comfortably eat here for less than a tenner. This is not a reflection of the quality however – all food is freshly prepared as it is ordered and is of excellent quality. The restaurants themselves are airy and modern, with canteen-style tables (so don’t try to have a romantic rendezvous here – other than that, Wagamama is faultless).

4. SUNDAY MARKETS

Description: Um…I’m not going to patronise you with this
Address: Brick Lane, Spitalfields, Petticoat Lane, Camden, Portobello, Covent Garden
Price: Free (until you see that perfect belt / bag etc)

London’s Sunday markets rock. They are always bustling, vibrant and all those other market cliches (but they really are)! It’s nigh-on impossible to do them all in one day though, so I’d make your way to the east end where three of the best are – the first three in the list above. These also close earlier than the others so it makes double sense. I’ve written a (crowned) op about these markets if you can be both
ered to trawl back through my stuff to find it…

5. THE END

Description: Nightclub owned by Mr C, ex-frontman of The Shamen
Address: West Central Street, WC2
Telephone: 020 7419 9199
Web: www.the-end.co.uk
Price: £7-15 depending on DJs and night

There are so many clubs in the capital, and it’s so easy to end up in a dive. If you can resist the lure of big names like Fabric and Ministry (neither of which are that great), go to The End. It is almost impossible to have a bad night out there. It’s a reasonably small club with a great atmosphere, great DJs and it stays open till about 6.30am. There is no dress code. Typically their guests are from techno, house or D&B backgrounds, but they also have a Sunday afternoon garage chill-out. I’ve also written an op on this club. By the way.

6. PRINCE CHARLES CINEMA

Description: Repertory cinema
Address: Leicester Place, W1
Tube: Leicester Square
Telephone: 020 7420 0000
Web: www.princecharlescinema.com
Price: £3.50 / £2.50 members / £1.50 all day Monday

The Prince Charles plays the most highly-praised recent films (from within the last year or so) plus classics. In addition they hold twice-weekly ‘Sing-a-long Sound of Music’ (£10) for which the audience are encouraged to dress as characters from the musical. Song lyrics are flashed up on screen so they can also participate, karaoke-style. Not only are the tickets exceptionally cheap (the Odeon next door charges a shocking £8-10 for adults) but the movies are always top class. The auditorium is also on a backwards slope which makes the seats extremely comfortable AND they were refurbished last year AND they have a licensed bar where beer is only £1 a bottle.

7. THAMESIDE WALK

Description: You know that blue swirly thing on the Eastenders opening credits?
Address: Right through the middle of London
Web: www.riverthames.co.uk

Price: Free

It’s good for you, it costs nothing and it’s easy to find! Walking along the Thames is the perfect way to while away an afternoon - do it alone for artistic inspiration; with your family for the oohs-and-ahhs and I-know-where-we-are-now factor; or wait till dusk when all the twinkly lights come on and have a romantic stroll with your loved one. If you’re feeling lazy you can take a cruise from one end of the Thames to the other for about a fiver. On the Victoria embankment (ie. not the south bank) there are lots of floating bars too which are cosy and, as you can imagine, have fantastic views.

8. GREENWICH

Description: Maritime centre and all-round funky borough
Address: SE10
Tube: North Greenwich / Cutty Sark or Greenwich DLR
Web: www.greenwich.gov.uk

I’m biased because I live there but hey, I moved to there for a reason. By the way I’ve also written a crowned op on this area! Sorry, will stop plugging own reviews. Greenwich is predominantly a centre of maritime history and has a lot of touristy stuff like the Observatory and Cutty Sark, but it is a great way to escape the urban madness. It has quaint little shops and markets and a beautiful, expansive park.

9. BEIGEL BAKE

Description: 24-hour bagel cafe
Address: Brick Lane, E1
Tube: Shoreditch / Aldgate East
Telephone: 020 7729 0616

Okay I’m thinking with my stomach again, but you really have to see this place. For starters it’s open ALL DAY and ALL NIGHT – how cool is that? – and the food is always fresh. Expect to pay pocket money prices for fantastic snacks – all bagels (even with smoked salmon) cost less than a quid, and big sticky cakes are 50p. The flipside is that it’s always manically busy so forget your manners if you really want that Danish.

10. YES GO ON THEN, DO ALL THE TOURIST STUFF

When all’s said and done, I have
to allow space for things like the London Eye (giant ferris wheel), the other museums and galleries, Parliament Hill (great view from highest point of Hampstead Heath) and Hamleys (toy department store). I am not endorsing them, I am urging you to be creative with your sight-seeing, but…ohhh…HAMLEY’S! Hurrah! Giant chickens! Bubbles that don’t burst! An aeroplane made of string! A tortoise that whistles…etc…

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