It's not that we don't like you visiting, but we like it better when you go ome'! (Norfolk Broads)

Member Name: idodoyou

Product:	Norfolk Broads
Date:	20/11/01 (966 review reads)
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As I type I'm drifting down the River Ant. It's still and deadly quiet. The countryside and banks are a myriad of autumn colours as the sun shines weakly down upon them casting a glow on the softly rippling water. It's peaceful. Tranquil, and ...... bloody freezing ... hang on, I'm goin' down below!!

Cor blimey gov'ner! Brass monkey weather today or what?
(and I started so poetically too :)

I guess I'm lucky. My family (Ma & Pa) have a boat on the Norfolk Broads. I have my own readymade holiday! And what's more, it doesn't cost a penny ~ teehee!

Floating down deserted rivers freezing our bits off in the middle of winter is a regular activity for the intrepid members of the idodoyou family. Yep, we are nuts. Or rather, my mother and father are nuts, they are still up on deck, braving the November weather, noses red and glowing like beacons. I, on the other hand, am down below basking in the heated cabin with the kettle on the hob talking to myself as I gabble and type the afternoon away. Come to think of it, talking to myself ...... I could be nuts as well?

The chances are that if you are thinking of taking a trip, a floating holiday, you'll be visiting some time in the summer months? Good, cos to be honest, the majority of boat owners prefer it when you all go home. We are not being rude. Just merely biding our time when we can go out onto the river and not risk our lives and our boats at the hands of imbecile tourist makers that think because they can steer a car, they can steer a boat!! A BOAT IS NOT A CAR OK??
My father has had to help at least four people this year. Either help them out of the bank, or out of the water (running on deck is not advisable either y'know?)
I'm guessing that by booking the holiday in the first place you will have some idea as to what the place is like, yeah? Well, here's a little bit more for ya ......


The Norfolk Broad
s are as characteristic now, as they were 500 years ago (or so I've been told ~ I have no personal experience of this ;)). Today the Norfolk and Suffolk Broads, which are situated to the east of the cathedral city of Norwich in East Anglia, play host to over a million visitors every year.

The 200+ km labyrinth of waterways was at one time thought to be 'au natural' after being formed by glacial activity. However, in the 1950's after scientific research, it was discovered that the network of rivers, channels and the 40 Broads were actually man made for turf and peat diggings that had been flooded in the 14th century when sea levels (the North Sea) rose.
Of course, once upon a time, way back when, the Broads were not used for recreation, but were an essential transport network. Especially so for the River Yare because it ran from Norwich to Gt. Yarmouth. A canal like section was cut out in 1833 (called the New Cut ~ original!) was constructed to encourage commercial traffic to use the docks at Lowestoft rather than Gt. Yarmouth. If it didn't do its job at the encouraging bit, the river was certainly made use of. The first sugar beet factory in the UK is built on the riverbank at Cantley (13 miles from Gt. Yarmouth) Up until quite recently, oil was still brought to the factory via the River Yare.

(hold on, kettles whistling away ..... Oh s**t, them up top have heard it and want a cup too! I'll be back in a minute! <a couple of minutes later> right, back again ..... you didn't want one did you? Good, where was I?)

There are 5 main rivers that go to make up the Broads, and they are usually split in to two sections. The Northern Rivers and the Southern Rivers. The two are joined/separated by Breydon Water at the seaside resort of Great Yarmouth.

The Northern Rivers consist of ..
The River Bure ~ which is navigable for 59k and flows from Coltishall (where it comes to an abrupt stop just outside '
;The Rising Sun' public house (good excuse for a river to stop flowing don't you think :)) to Great Yarmouth where it meets up with the River Yare.
The River Ant (where I'm right now .... these hand helds are wonderful things don?t you think?) is a tributary of the River Bure. This river is more narrow, shallow, and twisty! And, it leads to the more remote areas of the broads. Stalham, Dilham, and Sutton Staithe to name a couple.
The River Thurne, the other tributary of the Bure. Potter Heighham, Hickling (which has a large grassy area for the kids to find their land legs again) That's if you can get through Potter bridge? .Downstream from Hickling you pass Horsey Mere and the village of Horsey which has no amenities but boasts All Saints church believed to date back to 900's (a woohoo!)

It generally known that the Northern rivers and the surrounding areas are better than the Southern. This is because they tend to be more picturesque. Have more Broads and are more accessible to the quaint little villages that litter its banks.
Although accessible to the worlds once off the river, larger boats might (and will at times) find the river harder to navigate. This is because of the bridges. Some tend to be old, and low, thus making it harder for the bigger boat to go under. The whole of the Broads is tidal, and it's best to know what you are doing. Many a time have I sat and watched some idiot tourist get stuck. Even on TV, when somebody sends their video clips in to 'You've Been Framed'. The most famous of these low bridges is Potter Heigham. (If you have seen such a video clip on YBF ~ this is the bridge!) although now, and for a while, in order to go under the bridge, if possible at all, you HAVE to have a guide take you through. Our boat stands 7'9 out of the water, Potter Heigham has a centre height of 6'9 ...... guess who won't be going under there?!

The Southern Rivers consist of ~

The River Waveney which flows for 35 kms from Beccles northeast to the .........
The River Yare which flows from Norwich to Gt. Yarmouth.
Both rivers offer some lovely scenery. Alternating from beautiful hilly wooded banks (akin to the River Thames) to fens and marshland.

The Southern Rivers are known for their lack of low bridges, easy navigability, and the numerous Windpumps which are used to drain the water from the surrounding low land into the higher broads and rivers.

Its not because I live here, but Norfolk is quite unlike any other county in England. We have a distinctive building style (falling down usually :)) a unique dialect (of which I don't have, thank god cos it sounds bloody awful even if I do say so myself) and a diverse countryside, more so than any other lowland region.

Apart from the waterways, the whole county is plentiful with things to do, and many fine examples can be found from the Broads. There's no need to spend your whole holiday on the water y'know?
We have over 700 villages (of which 40 are deserted ~ probably saw the latest load of holiday makers arrive and decided to flee ~ teehee) and 750 mediaeval churches (if you like that kinda thing) buildings and ruins, many of which can be found within walking distance of mooring points along the rivers.

The main tourist attractions consist of a diverse range of things to see and do.
From Wroxham you could either visit Wroxham Barns ~ Children?s Zoo and country crafts (might have to take a small bus ride to get there though if you have children or old people?) or take a trip on the ...
Bure Valley Railway ~ a miniature train that will take you to Aylsham (a market town near Blickling Hall) and back again. Wroxham (or rather Hoveton ~ on Wroxhams doorstep!) plays home to the largest village store known as Roys. Bargains and anything can be bought here.
Gt. Yarmouth is your typical seaside town. Depending which days y
ou head into the town will depend on whether you hit market day (Friday I think?) but if shopping ain't your thing, head for the front and stuff your self silly. Words of warning here though, if you do decide to moor up at Yarmouth, make sure you are aware of the tides. They turn quickly, and a lot. You could leave your boat bobbing happily away a foot above the bank only to return and face a 6 foot drop to get back on it!!
Potter Heigham ~ home of the famous bridge, and Lathams (the outta town discount store!!)

If you are the other side of Breydon (Southern Rivers) you have
Oulton Broad ~ an off shoot of Lowestoft, it has a marina and shopping facilities.
Beccles ~ a prehistoric town with all manner of facilities.
Of course, Norwich has everything you could possibly want from a city, and if mooring on Riverside (Pulls Ferry) all you need is within walking distance (a K.F.C literally a stones throw away!!!) A quick stroll up Prince of Wales Road will bring you to Castle Meadow, where you will have a ..... err, Castle (now a museum) or a shopping Mall. Head into the city on certain Saturdays and catch a football match ~ only if you make a habit of supporting losing sides though!

Food and drink are a plenty here on the waterways. Almost every mooring that you stop at will have a pub! Unless of course you decide to go remote and moor by the river banks away from civilisation that is! (If you do, MAKE SURE you use your MUD WEIGHTS properly ok? After making an early start one morning, we rounded a bend only to be faced with a 54 ft holiday cruiser in the middle of the river with the passengers all asleep!!)

Yep, grub can be bought in all shapes and forms, and depending on which company you use, which boat you hire, full cookers and microwaves could be aboard? So eating out each night doesn't have to be an option. Of course, hit the larger villages and towns and fast food can be found.
Stalham ~ Pizza, Chinese, Cu
rry, Fish and Chips
Wroxham ~ Maccy D's, Chinese, Curry, Fish and Chips
Norwich and Yarmouth ~ the food world is your oyster!!
Potter Heigham ~ Fish & Chips. Although, they aren't the nicest. If you want the most delicious of F & C's in Norfolk, head for Stalham. It will mean a short walk up the other end of the High Street, but believe me, the walk is worth it. The biggest piece of cod, skinned and boned, with a mountain of chips ~ urmmmm :)

If pub meals are your preference, try the 'Maltsters' at Ranworth ~ delish! Get there early though cos the Staithe isn't that big and fills up pretty smartish.
The Swan at Horning dishes up culinary delights too. Same mooring prob as Ranworth though.
KEEP AWAY from the White Lion at Upton Dyke ~ believe me when I say bluerghh!

Fried Breakfasts and other foods at the riverside cafe in Potter Heigham will fill the biggest of stomachs. Say Hi to idodoyou's Auntie Sheila too ok?

The majority of pubs are rather expensive. They take advantage of their locations, and their clientele. By all means visit them, but if you are looking for a relatively cheap week, get ya booze in. (Main supermarkets too ~ the smaller independents will charge you an arm, leg and a rib or two for you to take booze from them! ~ Stalham, Norwich, Wroxham, Yarmouth, Beccles all have big supermarkets) In fact, I'd advise you to stock up with your groceries before heading into the great big wet yonder. If you are late (start looking seriously about 4 - 4.30ish to moor up for the evening) there may be no spaces left and mooring along side the riverbank with only the reeds as neighbours might be your only option?

As unbelievable as it may sound, a boat is not as simple to use as a week in an apartment, or hotel (other holiday accommodation). There are certain things you need to know. Need to do during your weeks, or fortnights holiday. Filling up with water and diesel, and
pumping out being the main chores. Of course, how many times you do them depends on the amount of people you have aboard, how big the boat is, and how long you are aboard for.
The water and the diesel are self explanatory I would have thought? You run out, you fill up again. Once, to fill up with water was free, but nowadays you will have to pay for it. The price varies from boat yard to boat yard. The diesel too varies, but neither varies any great amount. Its doubtful you'll pay the earth at one stop, cruise up the river and find that it's almost free.
Pump out is basically how you get rid of the crap (literally) toilet, and sink waste is all gathered in a separate tank, that will, over time and usage, fill up. When it's full head for a boat yard and get it pumped out. Again, it?s an easy enough task and you will have to pay for it.

I could, could go on and on about the do's and the don'ts of the river. But there are simply too many of them to relay, and apart from some responsible individuals, they are likely to be ignored anyway.

To be honest, I'm not sure why the Broads plays hosts to some of the biggest dumbo's on earth between the months of April and September? But it seems to.
Personally I'm always amazed when I see boat loads of teenagers/people with no brains. All drunk and generally messing around, with no safe guard for theirs, or anybody else's lives. No respect for the wildlife, the banks, and other peoples boats. A holiday on the river is not cheap. And I would have thought that these groups would be better off in Ibiza or Magaluf?? But, who am I to reason why hey? All I can do, all the rest of the boat owners can do, is to take a sigh of relieve when they have all gone!

If of course, when you come, or decide to visit the Broads, and you have no intention of getting bladdered at 11 o'clock in the morning and mooning all the other river users, you are of course, more t
han welcome to come visit.

The Norfolk Broads is a national park. It deserves to be seen and admired. However, it also deserves to be treated with respect. The tail end of this op might sound like a rant, it's not really, but more of a worry, and an observation.

Anyhoo ......... bon voyage!

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