WARNING: Reading this will mean entering the twilight zone…are you ready?

The girl next to me at the bus stop stared at me as if I was an alien from another planet. Maybe she didn’t realise just how close to the truth that was. I’m a country girl now living in the town (good old Rugby) and I would have to class Kilsby, the village I grew up in as another planet. It was as I was pondering this thought that I realised her stare of curiosity was slowly changing into one of fear. I’d only smiled at her and said hello and now she was looking at me as if I was about to mug her or snatch her mobile phone.

This is something that I just can’t get used to in Rugby. I used to walk the streets of Kilsby (no not like that!) and I could say hello to just about anyone and they would smile back (it was either that or wind). I moved to Rugby nearly two years ago and I’m still adjusting to the distance people put themselves at.
I shouldn’t generalise, as my street is very different, just like “Neighbours” in fact. Everybody knows every body else’s name, but then that could just be because we’re all nosy, and we all know who is doing what with who. Take the lady over the road from me for example, now sh-
Sorry, was gossiping. You came to this review to read about Rugby and that’s exactly what you shall get.

To those who have never heard of Rugby but think it rings a bell then let me remind you of that silly game where lots of muscle-ridden-thighed men run around the pitch with a funny shaped ball. You know what I’m talking about? No the game was named after us not the other way around...<sighs>
Rugby is famous for several things and if you’d like to hang around for a few minutes I’ll take you on a virtual tour of Rugby.

As you may remember we’re standing at the bus stop at the end of my street, now ignore the girl who is now edg
ing away from me and look straight over her head. There you’ll see what has been compared in the papers to something from NASA. Yes it’s the lovely Cement works. This oozes out a lovely cloud of dust over Rugby on a daily basis and is the main view from the front of my house.
Ah here comes the buses! That wasn’t a typo at all because what I’ve found since moving to a town is that instead of the three buses a day that I was used to in the village, we now get three buses at any one time every fifteen minutes!

Right we’ll sit at the back of the bus and I’ll point out the things worth looking at on the way. It’s a 4-minute ride to town and on the way we pass the lovely tower block of flats where you can often find “lovely” people hanging around at nighttime. Oh and there’s also a lovely Chinese on your left.
Whilst we’re travelling I’ll just give you some facts (skip this if you’re just here for my general joking around about Rugby)...
It was in 1567 that Lawrence Sheriff founded the world famous school where the game of rugby was created. The sport derived its name from our town when William Webb Ellis decided to pick up the ball and run in 1823. Rugby is also known for its two Roman roads the Fosse way and Watling street. The Grand Union canal and the Oxford canal link up here. Rugby is also known for its cattle market but most importantly it's school.
Other famous people from Rugby are poet Rupert Brooke, Lewis Carroll and Thomas Hughes. Rugby has a population around now of about 85,000, one of them being me!

Okay enough of the fact feeding, back to the tour...

Right we’re in town now, so follow me and I’ll show you the shops!
Rugby is known for its lack of good shops and its wealth of mobile phone, charity and shoe shops. Tell a lie the shoe shops are now slowly being taken over by sports shops, and not good ones
either.
We’re standing at the clock tower now which is in the centre of town and is the main meeting place for anyone. It’s surrounded by CCTV so is a pretty safe place to meet and if you love being pooped on by pigeons then this is the place to be. Oh and it also gets quite crowded on New Years Eve.
Straight opposite is Next, one of our few clothes shops and a small one at that. We also have a Dorothy Perkins and a Top Shop which is great if you’re tall and slim, unlike me who is short, very short.
To the right you’ll see the precinct, heavily advertised on local radio and made to sound massive when in fact its pretty mediocre.

Straight up you’ll see Rugby School which you may or may not know is one of the other things we’re famous for. There was a film called “Tom Browns Schooldays” situated at the Rugby School about public school life. Around the corner from there is the statue of William Webb Ellis, running with the ball. I personally never went to Rugby School (hee hee) but of a Saturday night the street where it stands is suddenly taken over by an invasion of tightly clad young girls in next to nothing. They’re barely let out. The girls from school I meant!

Now where were we? Ah yes, I was taking you into the precinct for a muffin wasn’t I. The muffin shop is the latest to be added to the precinct and they smell yummy so lets head down there.
Whilst you’re munching on that I’ll tell you about the pubs. We’re also famous for our pubs here in Rugby and if a shop closes down then you can guarantee if it doesn’t make it as a mobile phone shop then it will be the next coffee shop come wine bar come restaurant, come pub.
Let me tell you now it is IMPOSSIBLE to do a pub-crawl in Rugby. We had over 50 odd pubs the last time I tried to count them and that was a fair few years ago, not including wine bars.
You enjoying that muffin?
If muffins aren’t your thing then we also have a lot of bakeries here and a Macdonald’s if you’re really desperate. They put the Macdonald’s by the clothes shops on purpose I think...because when you can’t fit into that size 10 you need somewhere near to run for comfort food...lol

I would rabble on about the college and other things in Rugby but I sense I’m losing you, so I’ll just tell you that we’ve just had a library, museum and art gallery built, creatively called the “Rugby library museum and art gallery” It’s great in there with its big glass roof that’s now fully equipped with computers and a study area.
I’ve noticed that this is becoming a long review and you’ve finished your muffin so maybe its time I ended the tour.

Thanks for joining me, made a nice change to have someone to chat to at the bus stop...why are you giving me that strange look?

I guess if you’re unsure of what to do now maybe you could try that pub crawl...