A boring in-between (Southend-on-Sea in General)

Member Name: rabidsquirrel

Product:	Southend-on-Sea in General
Date:	06/07/01 (320 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Nothings bad

Disadvantages: I got bored even writing about it

I've noticed that the other review in this section on Southend in general that actually talks about Southend in general instead of just one restaurant in the town (mgoldman) is highly complimentary about the town. They obviously do not live there. Well, I do, and I am going to set a few things straight about the town. I may be biased, but I will try to give a full picture, and not just the things day-trippers see when visiting the town.

Southend, you see, would like to think of itself as a seaside resort on the same scale as Brighton or Blackpool. Absolute rubbish! Southend is neither as sophisticated as Brighton nor as purely thrilling as Blackpool - it is simply a bland, boring in-between (hence the title). And their golden 'mile' is only about 200m long. As a seaside resort, it compares only to places like Skegness.

The thing is, though, Southend has the potential for great things, yet it never takes the opportunities to become a great resort. There is everything you'd expect from your average British resort: an amusement park, arcades, cafes, restaurants, pubs and nightclubs, beaches, and of course the pier, which is the longest pleasure pier in the world. However, everything about it is decidedly average - even the pier. To be fair, the pier has had numerous fires, the most recent of which was to the bowling alley that was on it near the shore a few years back. But they have done nothing to put anything in its place. All you can basically do on the pier is walk (or catch a train) down it, and have an ice cream at the end, or possibly buy a souvenir. What a waste! At one point, there were plans to put a £16 million rollercoaster at the end of the pier, but that idea was rejected for numerous reasons. I am still amazed that idea was rejected. The people of Southend would love more tourism, but whenever any proposal is put forward, it is fiercely opposed by various groups. This is ultimately what is holding Southend back.

>The amusement park (Adventure Island) - nothing special, but the company seems to think that it's special enough to charge £15 per wristband (which allows you access to all of the rides bar the dodgems and go-karts). Alton Tower's doesn't charge much more, and that is far, FAR superior. All Adventure Island has is a couple of poor rollercoasters, a haunted house, a log flume, a couple of water slides, and the rest of your standard funfair crap. Fine if you're under ten, but thrill seekers should look elsewhere.

A recent development in Southend - yes, one did get through - was the restoration of the Kursaal situated to one end of the Golden 200m. I admit, I was excited about this at first - it was thought that the renovation of this before derelict building would bring something Southend had never seen before into the town. It was believed that the place would be a supreme entertainment venue. Wrong! The place has been open for a few years now, and all that has existed there has been a bowling alley (which is extremely poor - do not go there), a McDonalds outlet, a couple of restaurants and bars, a shop, and a casino - all of which existed in Southend before the place opened to the public. And if you're thinking of bowling there, think again. There are not enough bowling balls for the lanes, and the majority of those balls will not fit your fingers anyway. You might as well go to Broadway Superbowl in Leigh-on-Sea.

Shopping facilities in Southend are good, but not great, once again. A very large number of the shops in the town centre only cater for the shopper with the smaller budget. The same is true of the retail parks in Southend. Although there is everything you need in Southend, shopping-wise, if you're looking for designer shops, you'll be sadly disappointed. If you're looking to go somewhere more interesting to shop, then try the Broadway in Leigh. You won't find many chain stores there, but the shops that
do exist there are on the whole less conformist than the shops on the High Street.

Southend does not have a particularly high crime rate (unlike nearby Basildon) but prostitution is quite common in the town. There are several sex shops in town, including Ann Summers down the High Street, and I suppose Southend has a bit of a reputation of being the sex capital of Essex. The 'red-light district' is centred around York Road, and being the person who wants to keep his Dooyoo account, I suggest you do not try kerb-crawling along there, Friday evenings particularly. I personally don't care what you do, but don't blame me if you end up at the local police station (kerb-crawling, I believe is illegal).

The beaches along the seafront in Southend are average, at best. Although there are a couple of sandy beaches in Old Leigh and near Adventure Island, if you're looking at sunbathing on them during a hot weekend, then forget it, unless your idea of relaxing is spending time trying to find the square inch of free beach to claim as your own, while 5-year-olds are constantly succeeding in making your life a living hell by knocking you down, running on top of you, and throwing sand into your eyes. There are quieter areas of beach, but these are comprised partly of shingle, and are not exactly a joy to lie down on. In addition, you have to walk about a mile to find any water, half the time, if you're intending on swimming, and I would not recommend swimming in the sea there anyway. Call me paranoid, but there's something rather unsavoury about swimming past dirty nappies and used condoms.

So that's my op. Maybe I've just had some unfortunate experiences there – after all, the person who wrote the other op in this section seemed to love the place. But have they lived there all of their life? There are some events during the year, such as the air show (supposedly the largest fee one in Europe), that are of relati
ve interest. However, the advantages are outweighed by the overall blandness and unimaginativeness of the town. There is nothing here that really stands out – not even the pier. And that, if you think about it, is the worst criticism that could be made about somewhere like Southend.

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