There but for the grace of God... (Abortion)

Member Name: GillMN

Product:	Abortion
Date:	20/10/08 (271 review reads)
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Abortion, the word conjures up loss and loneliness, desperation and grimness.

I am not an advocate of abortion. I am not totally anti abortion either. I know that I am writing this from the privileged position of never having had to make that very final decision for myself.

Before I talk about my misgivings, let me say that I would not condemn a woman for making this choice for herself. It is, or should be, a very hard decision to take. There aren't any winners. It must be the hardest decision a woman or young girl has to take.

I would like to see a lot more education of the possible effects on a woman discussed with her and a lot more support of her after the event.

I have no sympathy at all for hard line Pro Lifers. I consider their position of dogmatism based on an unreal perception of what life is and what people are about. The fact that some of them in the USA have murdered in the name of their cause forces me to think that their agenda is not Pro life at all. It seems to me to be more about power and control, but isn't that what all fundamentalism is about?

However, I am very much against abortion being used as a contraceptive. I deplore the fact that foetuses are being aborted because the mother did not use contraceptive. There are so many people that can't have children that it seems wrong to me that they are being denied the chance because children are not brought to term and therefore not available for adoption.
It seems wrong to me that a child is aborted because the mother thinks that come the day she will not be able to part with it. That seems like spurious logic.

My main problem with abortion is the damage it does to the women who have had to make the choice to abort. I work as a Gestalt Psychotherapist. I have not worked with one woman who has not had long term emotional suffering and damage as a result of having an abortion. I would class it as a secret disease. Like sexual abuse in childhood used to be.
Granted, the women I see, seek help because they are emotionally troubled and are perhaps not a representative sample. I still think that they are the tip of the iceberg.

In the worst cases the grief, self recrimination, loss and emptiness can be immense. The recurring motif is a gap that cannot be filled. A "What if..." of crippling proportions.

None of these women were able to talk about their experience openly to their friends and family.
I worked with a 62 year old some years ago who had travelled from Ireland to a back street abortionist in Birmingham. She had kept her secret for 45 years! Almost a lifetime of secrecy and pain! She never had a relationship with a man again because she judged herself as an unfit mother and wouldn't forgive herself enough to have another child.

Many who have had abortions just get on with their lives. I don't think that we know the true cost of that for them.

I am not saying that everyone is damaged by the event but I do believe that everyone is hurt at some level. I don't know how to make a comparison with those that chose not to have an abortion. The two scenarios don't compute.

The other main problem for me is that abortion is used in some cultures to choose the sex of the child that is allowed to live. By this I mean that the ability to know the sex of the foetus results in the pregnancy being terminated if the woman is carrying a girl child. The imbalance that this is bringing about is horrific, particularly in rural China and the Indian sub continent.
Many hospitals in Britain now will not tell prospective parents the sex of their child because of a fear of this.

The W.H.O estimated in the year 2002 that there were at least 60 million elected abortions of female foetus in the previous ten years.

Because of cultural norms about males being more highly prized, the advent of ultra scan, which should be used to increase the health and safety of unborn children, is being misused to end lives. I think this is a travesty! I don't understand why more people are not protesting. Is female life that cheap?

It is difficult for us in the West to oppose this when it is obvious that we are not doing too well in the prevention of abortions ourselves. How can we point fingers and demand changes to their laws?

There is no right answer to whether abortion is a good or a bad thing. Everyone has their own ideas and experiences. I just wish that the long term effects of abortion both personal and global were more publicly recognised and discussed.

Summary: Just a few of my thoughts on this topic.