a life less ordinary ?? (Adoption)

Member Name: pontecaille

Product:	Adoption
Date:	07/02/02 (180 review reads)
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I am not usually keen on debates because I get easily carried away and loose track rapidly having so many things to say. I suppose it is a matter of putting your views in an order and elaborate slightly each one of them like an essay. I’m sure I’ll get there eventually. What I find hard however is to use proper words to express myself and it is a big barrier for me. Being French and writing in English is not easy. Words have so many different meanings and you have to pick the right ones not to divert from the main subject or confuse the readers trying to put down your ideas.
So please bare with me and don’t hesitate to give me advice on how to reach an average but concise and smooth writing style.


Many homosexual couples wish to adopt children but a significant question is raised:

<Are children raised in homosexual couples happy and well balanced?>

For me homosexual parents are as good parents than heterosexual.
I don’t think sexual orientation of the parents have a negative effect on the good growth of children. I don’t see how children raised by gays are more likely to have problems than children coming from a heterosexual couple.

Gays who have children are a reality. In the United States, the number of children resulting from couples of which one of the parents is gay is estimated at 14 million. I don’t have any figures for the UK but I pretend they are getting more subsequent. The majority of these cases relates to homosexuals which have children of a first heterosexual relation and who decide – at one moment or another – of living their homosexuality fully.
That is obviously going to bring out legal problems concerning the questions of guard and rights of visiting. Far from this traditional diagram, and for a few years only, gay couples with children are getting more numerous. In the USA, the phenomenon becomes such extensive that it is descri
bed as "gayby-boom", in reference to the baby boom of the Post-war period. From there various possibilities exist for a gay couple deciding to have a child out of a preliminary heterosexual relation:
-Artificial insemination
-Adoption
-The recourse to surrogate mothers

The era where the structure of an ideal family for the development of the child was defined by a father and a mother cohabiting, of white ethnic, middle class, living in the suburbs, the father doing a work remunerated outside the house and the mother passing the best part of her time near the children at home is outdated. They are called prejudice if they still exist.
Yes of course a child raised by two parents is more likely to have a balanced development but does it matter if two women or two men or grandparents or big brothers and sisters bring them up.

A child needs love and education to grow. Thus that the parents are homo or hetero does not seem to me to be a matter. If you think deeper on the question you still can ask yourself if the kid suffers from this situation. And if yes who is to blame! Well we are and so is the society we are living in.
Yes you read me well. We inflict moral wounds that are maybe worse than physical wounds to those kids who only want to be part of a family union. We tell them that having homosexual parents is a disgrace and is bad. We then teach our own kids to have prejudice on the matter and be intolerant. I can’t honestly see myself tell to my children it is bad to have two mums or two dads. I am the one to tell them it is bad to judge people on the colour of their skins, on their origins, or on the sexuality of their parents but I won’t be the one to say it is a not sane to live in a couple of a same sexual preference. It only leads to intolerance, hatred and even violence.

Home environments with lesbian and gay parents are as likely to successfu
lly support a child's development as those with heterosexual parents. It is wrong to say good parenting is influenced by sexual orientation. Rather, it is influenced most profoundly by a parent's ability to create a loving and nurturing home -- an ability that does not depend on whether a parent is gay or straight.
There is no evidence to suggest that the children of lesbian and gay parents are less intelligent, suffer from more problems, are less popular, or have lower self-esteem than children of heterosexual parents.
Children might experiment homosexual relations but the percentage of them becoming fully gay is not higher than a child raised in a heterosexual couple. They are still individual deciding for themselves and of their sexual natures.

You can’t deny custody or visitation to a person based on sexual orientation. The best interest of the child should always be the epicentre of the debates among politicians, religious leaders, schools and the media. Under this approach, a person's sexual orientation cannot be the basis for ending or limiting parent-child relationships unless it is demonstrated that it causes harm to a child. And as far as I am concerned and up to date with the news, isn’t Tony Blair about to extend adoption to the non married couples, whether they are homos or heterosexuals, if it is in the interest of the child.
It would be a real progress on social matters and could lead in my opinion to many happier children and thereafter families. I don’t see how a couple should be only a woman and a man. As long as the children beneficiate from a right and fair education but also filled with love and compassion, anyone can take the parental role. For several years, gays have been accepted, so why prevent them of having families.

I am stepping into a political storm by saying gay couple should have the right to adoption and that children in same-sex households deserv
e the security of two legally recognized parents being a mum and a dad or two dads or two mums. Moreover I think that homosexual couples can provide the loving, stable and emotionally healthy family life that children need and it is unfair to say they are unfit for such issue.

I am finish now and I look forward to reading your comments. J

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