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    Your dooyooMiles Miles

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      18.07.2010 18:45
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      My slightly humerous take on preceedings

      Every World Cup in my lifetime can be etched by specific memories. Even purely from an England point of view these moments can be elements of time where joy was the overriding feature - there's Michael Owen's goal against Argentina, David Beckham's penalty (and of course sending off) against Argentina, Joe Cole's spectacular strike against Sweden...but in truthfulness, all this World Cup will recall for me from an Englishman's point of view is Robert Green's butterfingers and Frank Lampard's goal that never was.

      There was no moment of glory. No fleeting glimpse of things to come as we progressed and improved. England left without ever showing us pride.

      Those who happy-clapped optimism and believed Gareth Barry was the answer to all our problems were dumb-founded and truly thought Emile Heskey deserved his place in the England team...It's not the despair that kills you, it's the hope, or sheer ignorance that England's squad does not hold a candle to Spain, Germany, Argentina, the Netherlands or Brazil.

      But what will we, the football fanatic, take away from South Africa 2010? The sound of a vuvuzela? Hardly an inspiration and a memory that will burn your retinas for decades to come. Strictly referring to World Cup's since 1994, where was Zidane's headbutt? Bergkamp's last minute winner of sheer brilliance? South Korea reaching the semi-final? An unheard of from Saudi Arabia scoring a wondergoal? Maradona's celebration...oh wait, that was sort of there.

      Cristiano Ronaldo, flopped. Wayne Rooney, flopped. Didier Drogba, flopped. Lionel Messi, flopped. Thierry Henry, flopped. Fernando Torres, flopped. It was down to David Villa, Diego Forlan and Wesley Sneijder to try to restore our faith in the beautiful game.

      We opened with a promising game. Siphwe Tshabalala became the name on everyone's lips. He quickly faded, but his work was done. He'd started the World Cup with a bang. But soon it became apparent this was the World Cup of work rates rather than flair. The watching world begged for a new piece of skill to be named after the unsuspecting performer. Emile Heskey fell over.

      The tournament progressed and goals eventually arrived. 0-0's turned into 1-0's. The Spanish became masters at it. Emmanuel Adebayor's phone went off. We all laughed. It was as exciting as it got...

      Raymond Domenech made the French a laughing stock. We all enjoyed that.

      Wayne Rooney complained about the fans who'd paid thousands of pounds to travel around the globe to watch a pathetic performance. Mick McCarthy just complained all the time.

      Robbie Earle went home early from a World Cup for the first time since Jamaica was eliminated in 1998. Theodore Whitmore wasn't there to support him though.

      Luis Suarez became the first footballer to be banned from a continent after his last minute goal line save...if Asamoah Gyan hadn't smashed the following penalty into the crossbar, nothing else would have been said about it.

      The Jabulani was given as much airtime as a Presidential candidate. We longed for a goal from distance. Finally we got them, and they looked just as good as ever before. Giovanni van Bronkhorst may be nearly 50, but he may never have hit a football as sweetly.

      And then the final arrived. Nelson Mandela turned up. Mark van Bommel did not foul him.

      The final saw little more than relentless foul play, specifically from the Dutch but the Spanish were equally as guilty at times. Was it fate that the World Cup final to be remembered for refereeing decisions was officiated by an Englishman?!

      But let the Dutch take their orange-mist away from their eyes - their team was second-best. Fact. Nigel de Jong should have be sent-off instantly for his assault on Xabi Alonso (lower-league fans will note Gordon Greer's sending off for Swindon against Charlton in the League One Play-off Semi-Final last season as an exact replica). By it's very definition, Arjen Robben should have been sent off for a second yellow for kicking the ball away...after his pathetic tantrum to Howard Webb previously. In that moment he instantly became everything of the game of football that is laughed at and hated by fans of other sports - players disregarding officials as worthless and acting as if they're always right, not being able to accept a decision going against them. Grow up.

      If anything, Andres Iniesta's very late winner was fitting. This competition lacked the last-minute drama of nostalgic based yesteryears. But Iniesta's winner sparked scenes of jubilation that truly fitted a football match, rather than the cruel miss of a penalty kick, which would have been the case ten minutes later had he failed to find the net. Sometimes matches as big as this are better off sorted out by someone scoring rather than by the immortal line "oh, he's put over." Often preceded by the line "the English defender steps up to take the spot kick."

      There is no such thing as a 'bad' World Cup. If such a thing happened, it would not still be watched by billions of people around the globe. But ultimately for all South Africa gave us in terms of hope, excitement and sheer joy, the footballing world provided midfield stalemates, burnt-out geniuses and repeated conversations about video technology. There were shocks. Who honestly put money on Italy going out of the group stages? Germany to put four past Argentina without response? New Zealand to be the only unbeaten team in the whole tournament?

      Brazil will host it next. In all probability they will win it in their back yard. We will watch. We will cheer. We will collect our thoughts, calculate the fairest outcome and then say "how can that be offside referee, you wanker?!"

      And then Emile Heskey will provide expert punditry on ITV.



      (also written on optajoke.wordpress.com, by me of course!)

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        12.07.2010 12:29
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        pretty good tournament overall

        Introduction

        The first World Cup held on African soil is now over. There have certainly been some controversial moments and the vuvuzelas have certainly not been to everyone's taste and there was also the new Jabulani ball. They always seem to make a big fuss about the ball at the start of every major tournament. At the end of the day if it is round and can be kicked then yes, I guess it can be used to play. The players may have taken a bit of time to get used to it though. The football at times by teams has been very dull and negative in nature but it can be argued that in the end the best team won. Spain were most people's favourites before the tournament began and ended up winning which is not always what happens of course.

        It all begun over a month ago in the Soccer City Stadium in Johannesburg and it ended in the same location with Spain triumphing over Holland. South Africa (the hosts) were never really expected to do much and they didn't manage to get out of the group stages which was a shame for the competition overall. It is usually good if the host nation gets far in the tournament like Germany in 2006 and South Korea in 2002 but this was not the case for this World Cup. Even though they failed to get through the group stages, another African team did carry the mantle for Africa up to the quarter final stages with Ghana having a successful World Cup and being unlucky not to get to the Semi Finals.

        Controversial incidents

        That moves me on to controversial refereeing and incidents in general. The whole of England was aggrieved with the linesman's decision not to allow Frank Lampard's goal against Germany in the second round. Then there was the Luis Suarez handball for Uruguay against Ghana on the line which prevented a clear goal. Video technology for goal line incidents is certainly an option for the first incident but the second was a clear case of Suarez exploiting the rules so it wasn't really his fault. I believe video technology should be introduced for incidents like Lampard's goal and the rule for stopping a clear goal off the line should be a penalty goal, a bit like what happens in rugby I believe. There were also a number of other refereeing blunders and other controversies but these seemed to be the major incidents that stuck out for me.

        Germany and Uruguay

        Both these teams played in a great game for the third place playoff which ended with a 3-2 win for the Germans. Germany were not really fancied before the World Cup but then you can't ever write them off can you? They finished in third place once again and played some great attacking football with some fantastic young players who could yet light up tournaments in the future. Thomas Muller (20 years old) won the Golden Boot award ahead of the likes of David Villa and he also won the Young Player of the tournament award. He was missing due to suspension in the Semi Final defeat to Spain and he could have certainly made some difference if he had been on the pitch for the Germans. Mesut Ozil was another youngster to catch the eye and Bastian Schweinsteiger also had a fantastic tournament. Miroslav Klose could not beat Ronaldo's record of World Cup goals but he also had a good tournament again with 5 goals. Uruguay were another team that did better than expected and finished fourth. Not bad for a team with a population of only 3.5 million. Diego Forlan received the Golden Ball award and was voted the best player of the tournament for his 5 goals and overall contribution to his sides progress. It seems a long way from his days at Manchester United where he couldn't even buy a goal.

        Negative tactics and positive Spain

        One thing that was a bit negative about the football in the World Cup was some of the blatant negative tactics employed. This was clearly the case in the final where Holland tried to stop Spain from playing by constantly fouling and disrupting their rhythm. They were quite lucky in the end to not get more than one player sent off. Holland had done well to get to the final but they hadn't really played free flowing attacking football. They seemed to get the job done up to the final and they probably hoped for the same once they got there. Although I would have preferred them to win, their tactics and overall play meant they did not really deserve to. Spain have a great team and a lot of the players that play for Spain play for Barcelona as well. Pique,Puyol, Xavi, Iniesta, Busquets and Pedro all started in the Final and they all play at the Camp Nou for Barcelona. The type of football Spain play is very similar to Barcelona and this certainly makes it easier when coaching and deciding tactics for a manager. They like to control the game and pass the ball around a lot. Xavi and Iniesta are two great midfielders who hold together the rest of the team. David Villa has scored the all important goals but these two are the ones that make Spain and also Barcelona tick. Iniesta scored the all important goal in the final as well. Both teams were hoping to win their first ever World Cup before the game but it was Spain who got the trophy in the end. It was also great to see Nelson Mandela at the final. A man who had done so much for the country deserved to be at one of its most prestigious events.

        A word on England and other major failures

        England were plain poor. There were reported divisions in the camp which could have played a part. The tactics were also pretty wrong in my opinion. If you look at all the teams that did well in the tournament they played with a lone frontman (one striker) but England went with a more traditional 4-4-2 style which didn't really work at all and Capello didn't change it, even when things weren't going well. Now England are stuck with him but hopefully he has learnt his lessons from this World Cup. France were a bigger disgrace though and Italy (World Cup winners in 2006) also went out in the group stages.

        Overall

        It was certainly a different World Cup. There was a clear lack of goals early on but in the end there was not many fewer than in 2006 in Germany which was considered a great tournament. It was great to see Some of the smaller and less fancied teams doing well -the likes of Japan, South Korea , Ghana, Uruguay , Paraguay etc.

        The organisation of the tournament probably could have been better (especially some security issues) but this was the first time it was being held in Africa and I think overall there weren't any really major incidents and it was pretty good. Then there were the vuvuzelas which sounded like a swarm of bees and you couldn't fail to hear them in every match. I think I kind of got used to them after a while but wouldn't want them to become commonplace in English stadiums. There were controversial incidents and issues but overall I would give World Cup 2010 a solid 4/5 stars.

        Oh and well done to New Zealand- the only unbeaten team of the World Cup 2010! Brazil next in 2014-hopefully England can do better then?

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          01.07.2010 19:04
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          Hoping to be lucky rather than wrong

          There is, on another opinionating website, a World Cup topic that requires a prediction as to which team will win. This review was originally written in response to that topic, hence its insistence on making foolish forecasts.
          ______________________________________________________________


          "Never make predictions. Particularly not about the future," is a quotation ascribed - as an internet trawl has just revealed - to a whole variety of people, which only goes to show that it's difficult to predict with any accuracy who's going to say what, even after they've said it.

          Whoever originated the saying, it's advice that I am going to ignore. Never fear, I'm not going to predict the past. Experience has shown that if you do that no one seems much interested, dismissing you either as a historian (if your prognostications prove correct) or a nutcase (if not) and an object of ridicule in either case. Ah, but the future, that's different; people are endlessly interested in speculation about what's going to happen next. What's more, if you're lucky and get it right they applaud you for your foresight and perspicacity, whereas if you get it wrong they tend to forget what you said in the first place, especially if you surreptitiously edit your review.

          Now we're down to the last eight in the World Cup, with several of the surviving teams looking like serious contenders, it seems timely to start thinking about which country might actually win. This is not something I would have attempted at the outset of the tournament, when it would have entailed evaluating the credentials of no fewer than thirty-two teams, a mind-numbing task and far too time-consuming when there was all that wall-to-wall football to be watched. Moreover, I might have risked serious embarrassment by tipping some bunch of no-hopers like England, Italy or France; somehow I doubt that even surreptitious editing could have erased an error on that egregious scale. This way, whichever nation I nominate, I can at least afterwards say: "well, they did reach the quarter-finals, didn't they?" And if that sounds like a self-fulfilling prophecy, let me point out that lots of fortune-tellers, futurologists and economic forecasters seem to have built lucrative careers on much the same principle.

          So who are these contenders in the quarter-finals? In forthcoming order of appearance we have

          Brazil v Netherlands
          Ghana v Uruguay
          Argentina v Germany
          Paraguay v Spain

          I'm glad that Brazil v Netherlands comes first, since this looks by far the most interesting pairing, except of course for Argentina v Germany. Come to think of it, Paraguay v Spain has appetising aspects too, and even Ghana v Uraquay is not entirely devoid of interest despite appearances. Nevertheless, the prospect of Brazil v Netherlands should set any football fan's pulse racing, matching as it does two nations traditionally noted for their flair, and this does not necessarily mean that it will prove to be a dreary anti-climax. Let us first consider:

          Brazil. "Which would you rather have, Brazilian samba football or these trophies?" Jose Mourinho, then manager of Chelsea, reportedly once asked the club's owner Roman Abramovich when the latter complained that success was being won by dour defence rather than inspirational attack. The answer proved to be Brazilian samba football, but that's another story. The point here is that even the Brazilians don't rely solely on samba football for success these days. A lot of strictly comes with the dancing. Dunga, now their manager, was in his playing days a defensive midfielder - that least Brazilian of positions - and has instilled some of the associated discipline throughout the team.

          This is a Brazilian side that holds its formation, tracks back and harries opponents when they have the ball, rather than biding its time and waiting for the chance to show off its skills. Such discipline reduces their dependence on their stars, which is just as well for them, since the much-heralded Kaka has been below his best, and Robinho's wayward talent has been harnessed in a way that managers of Manchester City, past and present, can only envy. Artisans rather than artists, men like Elano and Gilberto Silva, have held the midfield together and covered when Maicon and Dani Alves foray down the flanks, while centre-back Lucio and goalkeeper Julio Cesar have been among the top defenders of the World Cup so far. Ah, but those two have been playing their regular football for Mourinho at Inter-Milan, haven't they?

          Meanwhile, what on earth is going on in the Netherlands camp? Where are the routine rumours of fallings-out, feuds and hissy fits? From time immemorial Dutch footballers have sought to enliven their country's somewhat stolid stereotype by behaving like petulant prima donnas once they are assembled as a squad for a major tournament. This time, though, they seem to have lapsed into a tedious togetherness, but are no less effective on the pitch for that. If what they are playing isn't quite the free-flowing "total football" of the vintage Dutch sides of the 1970s and 80s, it's well-organised and effective. As with Brazil, hard work and coordination seem to have replaced style at the head of the Dutch agenda. Van Marwijk, the coach, has been criticised at home for this, with one newspaper apparently saying the team now plays like a chain gang; if so, it's one with no weak links.

          The defence lacks star names, but as a unit it is solid. Midfield is solid too, with Van Bommel and De Jong restraining their own attacking instincts to give Sneijder free rein to roam. Up front, Kuyt is a tireless workhorse (workhorses always are tireless, aren't they, otherwise they're not picked), while Robben and Van Persie contribute pace and opportunism respectively. This team could go far, but I don't think it will, not when faced with Brazil.

          ** Torr's forecast (Torrcast?): Brazil 2 Netherlands 0 (or 2-1 if the Dutch goal isn't disallowed) **

          This brings us to the last remaining African representatives in the first ever World Cup to be held on African soil: Ghana. The Black Stars, as they are known, though Dark Horses might have been a more fitting nickname. With their one internationally famous player, Essien, ruled out through injury and having shown indifferent form in warm-up games, not much was expected of the Ghanaians, which is perhaps the best way to start a tournament. In any case, they have done well to progress as far as they have. Perhaps the usual suspects - selfless teamwork and good organisation - are responsible in this case too. Everyone seems to be doing it nowadays, except England, Italy and France, of course.

          At this point I'm tempted to search online to remind myself about the Ghanaian players who have actually played, but perhaps that's best avoided. Who wants the clarity of their perceptions clouded by the facts? Most of the Ghanaians ply their trade in Europe, but few are regular starters for the biggest clubs, or household names. There are people called Boateng who are quite good, one of whom plays for just-relegated Portsmouth, where Muntari also used to play before going to sit on the substitutes' bench at Inter Milan. There's someone called Gyan, who scores a few goals for mid-table Rennes in France. Pantsil plays for Fulham and is not bad despite that and his name. All told, you wouldn't think they'd amount to much, though maybe this is one of those mathematically improbable occasions when the whole is greater than the sum of the parts.

          Much the same might be said of Uruguay. This is, of course, a nation with a glorious World Cup history, but the trouble with history, as Ben Reich once said, is that it's all in the past. In Uruguay's case, not even the very recent past. Looking at their squad, you'd think this was mainly a gang of honest journeymen, gauchos rather than caballeros, and you might be right. Forlan up front has enough flair, or at least hair, to stand out, and seems to have forged an effective partnership with Suarez. Their midfield looks purposeful but rather anonymous (this means I haven't managed to remember any of their names), while their defence, marshalled by Lugano and Godin, is formidably tough and takes no prisoners. What could they do with Ghanaian prisoners in Uruguay, anyhow?

          With all due respect, it's difficult to see either of these two teams going much further in the competition. Generally, if you have to rely on all due respect you've had your chips. Of course, a Greek team without stars or even asteroids managed to win Euro 2004, but that was a once-in-a-lifetime rule-proving exception, or so I'm determined to believe. The rules dictate that one of these two has to go one stage further, and I'm going to plump for Uruguay on grounds of geography. No, not continent, but hemisphere. Teams from the southern hemisphere seem to be the only ones able to anticipate which way the Jabulani ball is going to spin and swerve; it's probably something to do with Coriolis effect and bath-water swirling the wrong way down the plug-hole south of the Equator. Ghana, despite being African, is stranded on the wrong side of the line, and I therefore anticipate their goalie looking on bemused as the crucial free kick curls inside the post.

          ** Torrcast: Ghana 0 Uruguay 1 **


          Next we have a classic match, Argentina v Germany. So classic that there have even been World Cup finals featuring the same protagonists, most recently in 1990, a scrappy game settled in Germany's favour by a disputed penalty and sending-off, an incident that still rankles in some quarters twenty years later (see footage of the incident and associated comment thread at www.youtube.com/watch?v=MsbXRqT19IY for some light entertainment). Argentina certainly have a more convincing squad of players now than they did then, including one or two luminous talents that even the managerial skills of Maradona have failed to dim. (Naturally, it goes against the grain to admit that Maradona might be doing something - anything - right, so I do not intend to do so.)

          Whoever their manager might be, any team with Samuel, DeMichelis and Heinze at the back is going to frustrate opponents. Any team with Mascherano (unless it's Liverpool) and Veron (unless it's Man Utd or Chelsea) in midfield is going to win possession of the ball in dangerous areas. Any team with Messi, Tevez and Higuan up front is going to score goals. And any team that can afford the luxury of leaving players like Aguero and Milito on the subs' bench is to be envied; what a shame it's too late to offer them English nationality. This is one formidable outfit.

          Germany are also a formidable outfit. It would be easy to typify their success as yet another example of the efficacy of thorough preparation and hard collective graft, especially as it chimes with what is expected of the national stereotype. But the methodical side of the German character can sometimes distract attention from its incisiveness. This is a team that attacks swiftly and sharply, much as Guderian's panzers did to outflank the allies from the Ardennes to Dunkirk in 1940, catching opponents off balance and giving them no time to recover.

          Much has been made of their youth, but the team has been built around a resilient framework of experience: Lahm, the captain, in defence, Klose and Podolski in attack. Schweinsteiger, who is marshalling midfield imperiously in the absence of Ballack through injury, may be only 25 but he's been around at the top level for several years now, similarly Mertesacker at centre-back. Anyway, with names like that you simply know they're not going to be pushovers. Less familiar, and of course less typically German, are names like Ozil, Kedira and yet another Boateng, who is unaccountably not playing for Ghana, but they have been smoothly and effectively integrated into the German way of doing things. Against the prodigious weight of Argentina's talent, though, I don't think the German way of doing things will quite be enough to tip the balance, and I anticipate a repeat of another World Cup Final scoreline, that of 1986, which was of course:

          ** Torrcast: Argentina 3 Germany 2 **


          So last but not, let us hope, least we have Paraguay v Spain. What can be said about Paraguay that has not already been said? Not a lot, not by me anyway, since I know distressingly little about them. If Ghana are the dark horses of the competition, Paraguay have taken their own equine colouring one shade darker still, becoming practically invisible. They have people called Torres and Veron playing for them; these are not, however, the Torres and Veron of whom you have heard, unless you are a footballing anorak on an outsize scale, but others of less prominent provenance. Panama also have Roque Santa Cruz, who used to be a competent striker for Blackburn Rovers and now understudies for the first choices at Manchester City. The rest of their team slip through the memory like plankton through a fishing-net.

          Having big names in the side is, as this tournament has shown, no guarantee of success, but relying on small names alone is even less of one. Arguably, Paraguay can't be bad or they wouldn't have reached this stage. They've beaten Slovakia and Japan, not exactly footballing names to conjure with, and drawn with New Zealand and Italy, the latter a result that looks far less impressive now than it did at the time. Viewed in retrospect, the draw may have been kind to them. Whatever clichés one might reiterate about wholes and parts, Paraguay look overdue for an exit.

          Historically, Spain have often afforded an example of the contrary cliché, also espoused by England, whereby the whole is less than the sum of the parts. Only once in a major tournament - which happens to be the most recent, Euro08 - have the Spaniards fulfilled their promise. The trick, all too rarely realised, is to coax and coach players drawn from the two great rivals, Barcelona and Real Madrid, into playing effectively together for the same team. The current Spanish management reconciles the two by having the heart of the formation based in Barcelona - Puyol and Pique in central defence, Iniesta and Xavi in central midfield - dotting a few representatives of Real around them, while leaving the cutting edge in attack to two strikers - Torres and Villa - who play for neither club. These are all outstanding players.

          This approach to integrating their top talent works well for Spain most of the time, though it did come uncharacteristically unstuck against Switzerland. Let us assume that such unpredictable lightning will not strike twice in the same place; let us assume that Torres and Iniesta will be fully fit, which has not always appeared to be the case in the games to date. On these assumptions, this fixture should be no contest. Even if the assumptions don't hold, Spain would still be strong favourites. Personally, I don't think that originating in South America will be enough for Paraguay to turn the tables, hence:

          ** Torrcast: Paraguay 0 Spain 2 **


          ~ * ~ Post-Quarter-Final Update ~ * ~

          Well, I did say that "forecasting anything beginning with an F (fate and fortune as well as football) is fraught with fallibility and never foolproof", didn't I? Just as well I'm not a betting man, it seems, though those who are might in future like to bribe me to jinx favourites by tipping them. Having jinxed Brazil and Argentina - without, alas, having received any backhanders for doing so - I now need to reconsider the outlook for the final stages, even if it means jinxing someone else. In which case, who better for the treatment than our recent conquerors, the Germans? With a further fanfare of vuvuzelas, therefore, I offer you the following torrcasts, notoriously unreliable though these now may be, for the remaining fixtures:


          ~ Semi-finals ~:
          Netherlands 1 Uruguay 0
          Germany 2 Spain 1


          ~ * ~ Post-Semi-Final Update ~ * ~

          Well, that worked a treat, didn't it? And so, for my final stab in the dark:

          ~ Third Place ~:
          Germany 2 Uruguay 1

          ~ Final ~:
          Netherlands 1 Spain 1

          With Netherlands to win on penalties after extra time.




          © Also published under the name torr on Ciao UK, 2010

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            28.06.2010 10:26
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            Goodbye England ...

            As Baz Luhrmann never quite said, we must accept certain inalienable truths about the World Cup.


            ** The new ball will be roundly slaughtered, branded a cheap "flyaway" toy and blamed for seventy per cent of the mistakes made, although players have made and will continue to make exactly the same mistakes without it.

            ** The French and/or Dutch will fall out with ... well, everyone. Especially themselves, thereby disastrously, marvellously self-destructing.

            ** Pele will predict twenty-nine different teams will win the World Cup. He will inevitably be proven right in one case, and accept the plaudits for his shrewdness.

            ** The African teams will be tipped to enjoy unprecedented success. They will also all go out at the group stage.

            ** Players will be caught in the shin, somehow grievously injure their faces and be miraculously healed by other players being shown yellow cards.

            ** The Germans will bore everyone to tears and be written off as pedestrian and uninspired, before going on to quite possibly win the damn thing.

            ** A previously-unheard-of player will light up the tournament with his silky footwork and winning style, be signed by a hopeful Premiership team and prove to homesick and inept in equal parts.

            And of course ...

            ** England will lose (to Portugal or Germany, probably) in the most glorious, pitiful, dramatic way possible (on penalties, then), will find a scapegoat and the English media will photoshop their heads onto all manner of insentient objects.



            About halfway into the World Cup now, most of the above have been proved wonderfully, undyingly true once again. But one or two haven't. There have been, as we enter the knockout stages, some fantastic displays, some utterly atrocious ones and a welcome end to the monotony that for the first few days of the tournament threatened to make the tournament notable only for the addition of the word Vuvuzela to the collective lexis.



            ~*"~ The Good ~*"~

            Apart from a stunning demolition of Australia by Germany that had the rest of the world a bit worried for a moment, and the trouncing Portugal gave North Korea that assured Pyongyang has probably seen its last live televised game for about forty years, the game's traditionally "big" nations have been a major disappointment - in their place though, a host of lesser lights have lit up South Africa and leapt up the fantasy league standings.

            South Korea and Japan have proven themselves to be equally tenacious opponents away from their feverous fans on home turf - and there's one to tick off on cliché-bingo; Asian teams may only be described as "tenacious", "determined", "enthusiastic" or "plucky" - faintly patronising, sweetly insulting terms that suggest they're capable of little more than trying quite hard. Those funny little Japanese. This World Cup looks like turning the tide of perception on that one, though - Japan have beaten two good teams in Cameroon and Denmark, destroying the latter in a display that marked out their team as being a strong, intelligent counter-attacking side and spotlighted Keisuke Honda as an early candidate for previously-unsung-star of the World Cup (see El-Hadj Diouf and Mehdi Mahdavikia). Skilful and adept from dead balls (as proved by the opened floated past Thomas Sorensen in Rustenburg), Honda only recently signed for CSKA Moscow, but it wouldn't be an enormous surprise to see suitors circling around the forward.

            Continuing the theme of plucky (sorry ... spirited ... and gifted) underdogs, New Zealand have performed exceptionally considering the relative paucity of riches at their disposal. In their finest hour, a 1-1 draw against Italy (in which the Italian response to Shane Smeltz's early goal came via an extremely dubious penalty), the All-Whites defied a team full of World Cup winners - their own ranks being led by the aforementioned Smeltz, whose high-point in serious football was a spell of five goal-less games for Mansfield Town, then in English football's lowest tier. New Zealand displayed all the mental attributes bigger and supposedly better nations have lacked in South Africa; a positive attitude untainted by whining and hard-luck stories, enormous mental reserves in the face of adversity, a genuinely united team spirit ... admittedly, it's easier to draw on these attributes when no-one expects you to produce anything noteworthy, but there are plenty of teams that could take some serious lessons from their displays.

            Much has been made of the failure of European teams to lift the World Cup outside of the continent, and the rule has been proved this time round. While Europe has toiled, though, South America has delivered in great style. While Brazil and Argentina are widely expected to shine, the form shown by Chile, Paraguay and Uruguay has been a welcome surprise; all these teams have qualified for the last sixteen, and all have impressed, suggesting a winner is most likely to come from the continent that have traditionally dominated non-European World Cups.



            ~*"~ The Bad ~*"~

            One moment you're insulting the best player in the world's mother, getting headbutted in the chest and lifting the World Cup, the next (well, four years later ...) you're finishing bottom of your group behind Slovakia and New Zealand. For Marco Materazzi, the 2010 World Cup has been something of a come-down. He's not alone of course - both of 2006's finalists (France and Italy) have crashed out, although at least the Italians maintained some degree of dignity in doing so. For France - well, their capitulation was branded "[without] the slightest trace of a soul", "a total fiasco", and "pitiful, ridiculous and shameful" by their national press, and this is perhaps being slightly kind. It's a shame that Ireland, so controversially dismissed by Thierry Henry's barely-disguised fleeting switch to rugby, haven't been given the chance to appear on the game's greatest stage, where they'd surely have shown more pride, dignity and effort than the shambolic Les Bleus. It's hard to pick the lowest ebb from the debris of their campaign, but the refusal of manager Raymond Domenech to shake his opposite number Carlos Parreira's hand (in what was his last action in charge of the team) marks something close to the nadir.

            The problems the teams faced - France's appalling attitude aside - have not been so dissimilar. Aging teams (Fabio Cannavaro appearing at 36, playing in the United Arab Emirates, but not for the money, honestly), over-reliance on spent forces (Henry's waning gifts, Gattuso, Camoranesi and Zambrotta for the Italians), inadequate replacements for national legends (Yoaan Gourcuff failing to step into Zidane's sizeable boots as hoped; the Italian forward line toiling to little effect without Totti and Del Piero) and complacency at having already achieved so much have all contributed to weighing down the teams to such an extent that they appeared laboured and leaden-footed. If the fall from grace of such big names is to some extent a shame, it's opened the way for fresher, more inspiring teams to take their places.

            It's hard to discuss negatives within an African World Cup without looking at the continued struggle of the continent's teams to make a real impact at a tournament. Since Pele's infamous and much-derided prediction that an African team would lift the World Cup by 2000, Senegal's quarter-final showing in 2002 remains the high-water mark. Ghana have equalled this now, and face a favourable side of the draw; a semi-final berth is not out of the question, but this would be flattering on a team that, while arguably the best, if not most exciting team of the continent, are still some way off comparison with the big guns of the game.

            That said, this hasn't proved a great tournament for big guns, so who knows ... Ghana are a hard-working, well-drilled unit, while the Ivory Coast were unlucky to come up against Brazil and Portugal so early on, and impressed before being eliminated. The hosts were never likely to progress, although emerged with some credit, claiming a major, if somewhat tainted scalp in France with a 2-1 victory, while Algeria proved durable if unambitious and Cameroon stunk out their admittedly strong group. The final African nation, Nigeria showed their known ability in flashes, but suffered from a poor opening showing and endured a brief, unfulfilling stay. What does the future hold for Africa? Improvement, most probably - but it's a slow development that the continent's teams are making, belying expectations of a sudden twenty-first century explosion across football's top table. Brazil et al are yet to find themselves wiping Africa-Gateaux from their eyes.



            ~*"~ The England ~*"~

            What to say about England? So much, and so little - there's not a lot of new insight one can bring to a discussion of England's failings.

            Once again, the nation has departed the World Cup without ever really turning up, leaving us feeling like the world hasn't seen the "real" England, the one that stormed through qualifying and roasted Croatia over a lovingly-stoked fire of passion and talent, the one that we know *is* there, somewhere. However, with this being the latest in a string of dismal, depressing failures, and a good eight years having elapsed since our last impressive World Cup performance (a 1-0 victory over a fading Argentina in Japan), perhaps *this* is the real England when the pressure's really on - the winning eleven from qualifying the real imposters.

            This begs the question, then - why are England so mentally weak? Who knows, but the problem appears to be chronic.

            The commentator presiding over the BBC's showing of the 4-1 drubbing at German hands claimed defiantly that "no-one would take more than one or two of Germany's players for the England team." He was embarrassingly wrong, of course - I'd take the entire German team, even if the "German" part's kind of sketchy in a squad comprising three Poles, two Ghanaians, a Tunisian, a Brazilian, a Bosnian, a Turk and a Spaniard. What Germany have, if not an abundance of heavily-hyped superstars, is a team that plays like one; that knows how to function as a unit and is more important than any individual. This being a concept England just can't get to grips with.

            Alongside this persistent failing, there are more specific ones. England - with their oldest-ever squad - looked tired, uninspired and something else negative ending with -ired. Players like Gerrard, Lampard and Terry have tried and failed several times now to reproduce their club form on the biggest stage - we can safely assume now, surely, that it's never going to happen for them. The young talent is there for England, it's just ignored; of the squad that reached the 2009 Under-21 European Championships, only two were chosen to go to South Africa, and only one (James Milner) made it onto the pitch. Fabio Capello seems to have little faith in the up-and-coming footballers of the country, a position which seems strange when a reliance on experience has worked out so badly.

            In truth, though it's disappointing to see your country exit, the World Cup won't miss England, for whom a brilliant performance, like the top of a mountain, seems perennially just around the next corner without ever arriving. Perhaps a new generation will bring more rewarding efforts to an ever-eager, expectant public. For our part, we could do with managing our expectations a little and accepting that perhaps our team aren't all they're supposed to be. But hey, half the fun of the World Cup's getting absurdly over-excited about your country's chances, be they giants or minnows, or, in England's case, something quite different entirely.



            ~*"~ The Best of South Africa 2010 So Far ~*"~


            ~*"~ Sara Carbonero ~*"~

            Spanish keeper Iker Casillas may seem to have it all - millionaire lifestyle, stunning girlfriend, captain of the best international team in the world, so perhaps he can take being brought down a bit. Strange that it was the aforementioned girlfriend who did it, though. A touchline reporter for the sports channel Telecinco, she interrogated her boyfriend as he left the pitch after Spain's shock 1-0 defeat to Switzerland; "How did you manage to cock that up?" she jabbed. Casillas looked quietly furious. There must have been some tense silences over the dinner table that evening.


            ~*"~ Joachim Loew's outfits ~*"~

            Best-dressed award can only go to one person - or two actually. German manager Loew and his mini-me Hans Flick have turned out in a series of dapper, co-ordinated outfits that suggest a Germany-Topshop partnership is alive and well. Looking like a model for an affordably-priced menswear catalogue, Loew has brought some much-needed sartorial class to the World Cup.


            ~*"~ Vuvuzelas ~*"~

            Some people love them, some people hate them. Everyone will forget them within about a week of the Final. As much as they've become almost inextricably linked with the competition, give it a couple of months and there'll be one fat guy at St Mirren honking away to the great irritation of everyone in a five-mile radius.



            ~*"~ And The Worst ... ~*"~

            That thorny issue of goal-line technology and/or instant replays cropped up again, with two damning acts of evidence in quick succession - Frank Lampard's not-given goal against Germany and Carlos Tevez's wrongly-given goal against Mexico. Actually, it's not a thorny issue. Just about everyone agrees - the game needs technology, the officials need help. But Sepp Blatter doesn't want it - and given that Blatter is that most deadly combination of moronic and powerful, it's not likely to happen any time soon.

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              28.06.2010 10:15
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              Goal line/offside decisions need reviewing

              Well what to say. England are out. They've stumbled and got up again and now they have fallen.

              Overall England didn't play well enough. Didn't raise their game at critical moments and didn't draw on the experience of having the oldest squad in the competition.

              Where do we go from here. Capello says that the system worked in qualification, though with Croatia arguably the strongest opposition in the group that's not much of a defence and we only scraped wins against some of the other teams.

              Should he stay or go. Well it all depends on if the FA want to rebuild or give this squad one last go at Euro 2012 (if we qualify). Looking at the squad only Rooney, Milner, Lennon, Johnson, Hart and Dawson are 26 or under and Rob green is 30. The rest of the squad are 28 or over. Based on those stats perhaps the under 21's should be promoted and gain experience, their youth may not make them so frightened.

              Decision making technology? Why not? Over the line or not, offside or not? Football is the biggest televised sport in the world and every other sport has technology in decision making. Yes it may disrupt the flow of the game, but if the captain can speak to the ref about speaking to his linesman that takes seconds, all the officals have mikes and the fourth official is a qualified referee too and he only needs to look at a monitor for 5 seconds to make a decision. That's all it takes, if he needs longer there's no call, if he can do it in 5 seconds the right decision can be made.

              In both matches yesterday bad official calls affected the match. In the England game the fourth goal was going to be crucial when England got one back to make it 2-1, we scored it but it was not given. It would have been 2-2 at half time, instead Germany scored the fourth goal and then it was all over. In the Argentina game Tevez was clearly offside and Mexico had been arguably the more offensive team up to that point, they were rattled by the incident and then an error by the Mexico defence compounded the erroneous goal and again it was pretty much game over. England certainly chased the game and got caught on the counter-attack, Mexico tried to play as a they had before but you could see they were a bit shell-shocked up to half-time. Then a wonder goal from Tevez finished them off although they kept battling.

              Yes the Germans were more clinical and a bit of bad luck you've got to take as part of the game but bad decisions when they're so blatant is a kick in the stomach.

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              24.06.2010 20:03
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              May the best team win

              ~~~~Introduction~~~

              I cannot believe it! I am about to pen a review about football - I hate footy - almost with a passion.
              I normally avoid soccer like the plague, although at the same time am pleased that the FIFA World Cup commands a great deal of TV coverage, for the simple reason that I am more likely to catch up on my neglected tasks when sports programmes replace the normal TV schedules.

              Even IF I were interested in footy, the relentless buzzing of those Vuvuzela thingies, sounding as if a record-breaking humongous swarm of angry bees had invaded the pitch, would have been enough for me to switch channels or make a dash for the mute button.

              I actually began to feel sorry for the players, it cannot have helped their concentration and it certainly fueled my determination to avoid channels scheduling the matches.
              I could almost imagine the audiologists and hearing aid specialists rubbing their hands with glee at the prospect of thousands of people soon to be requiring their services.

              Incidentally, my nephew bought one of those Vuvuzelas, which I initially borrowed, to review, but eventually came to own, albeit reluctantly, (he left it in my tender, not so loving , care after discovering he couldn't get a tune out of it) However I decided, seeing as it is part and parcel of the world cup scene, to shove my opinions of the instrument of torture here instead, thereby saving Dooyoo a few pence at the same time.

              I can only describe it as an orange and white, plastic tube shaped like an elongated, brass horn. It makes a noise like a cow in labour and is guaranteed to give anyone within hearing distance a thumping headache, not to mention the added 'bonus' of permanent hearing problems; BUT, it makes a pretty good ear-trumpet, amplifying sound when held against the ear; so anyone in possession of one of those should hang on to it, for it will help with their hearing until the waiting list for hearing aids has diminished.

              It will also make an excellent funnel to aid the pouring of liquids from one vessel to another, with the minimum of spillage.

              Up until yesterday, I had not taken any interest in the game at all, but the media manages somehow to ensure that even the least interested of us, like it or not, will have some inkling of what is happening on those pitches, so it will be no surprise then, that I was aware that the England team were in a bit of bother and unlikely to get far, should they continue to play so half-heartedly, as they did in the game against America.

              So how then, did I become so interested in the games now? - You might well ask.

              I was snared by the media, of course:-) The morning news, made a direct hit on my sense of patriotism. It told of how badly England was fairing and that the match against Slovenia was a 'do-or-die' situation. England HAD to win to stay in the running for the final.

              Well - it's not that I don't care, of course I would like to see England do better, but was still not interested enough to watch the match.
              Instead, I watched Deal or No Deal on Channel 4, while the match between Slovenia and England was being shown on BBC1.

              It was when the commercial break came on, that I decided to hop over to BBC1 to see what the score was - I must have cared more than I realised, obviously. England was one goal up against Slovenia and it was at this point my interest was ignited and I found myself rooting for our team, my heart rate alternating between a gentle pace and a gallop, each time Slovenia got the ball near their goal and again when England came close to scoring a second goal.

              This new-found, unexpected enthusiasm and nail biting tension was too much for me, rather akin to watching a thriller film, I had to switch back to Deal or No Deal to restore my metabolic equilibrium, only to return to the match in each commercial break.

              When the game was over and England had won, I felt the same joy and pride as anyone of the staunchest of fans. Tears of happiness for the team temporarily clouded my vision.

              Will I watch the match between Germany and England at the weekend? - I will try not to, but am sure I will be channel hopping to take a quick squint at the scores as the game progresses.

              Have I developed a liking for footy? Ummmmm - maybe, but only for the duration of the world cup.

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                21.06.2010 21:11
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                Get in the South African spirit this summer...just not too often!

                The Vuvuzela: love it or hate it, it's part of the South African World Cup experience.

                With each major footballing tournament, the fans of the teams try to embrace the culture of surroundings in which it's held. To create an atmosphere at football matches, the South Africans have used the Vuvuzela to create noise at football matches.

                So, fans have been flooding in their thousands to buy these, not only in South Africa but also here in England too.

                In South Africa you can buy one for about 60 Rand, which is equivalent to around £5.60; above it says the "hot offer" is £9.94 from Amazon, which is a fair price to pay and similar to those on you local high street. I haven't seen too many of the large, full-size ones, although some supermarkets do sell them.

                Typically, Vuvuzelas are around 65cm (2ft in old money), though they can vary in size and you can find smaller versions. Obviously because it's made of plastic, it's easily breakable, so don't be too rough if you're wacking it about, not that you should be.

                In terms of sound, it produces one monotonous sound as you're blowing into it, but obviously blowing at different speeds and for different lengths of time makes the pitch different, but in general a monotonous sound is produced. It's quite a light thing and although long, it's easy to hold. You don't need to apply too much force when blowing to make some sort of noise.

                A recent survey showed that a standard Vuvuzela can produce a sound up to 130 Decibels, which is just under the equivalent of Jet take off, apparently. (According to my research)

                I find that because of the sheer number of people blowing into these overgrown horns, they are detracting from the game of football; instead of the cheering, all you can hear are the Vuvuzelas.

                Many high profile footballers have blamed poor team performances or bad moments of play on the Vuvuzela - these include Lionel Messi, Cristiano Ronaldo and Patrice Evra. The latter has blamed the Vuvuzela for France's poor perfomance, citing issues of poor communication with his team mates due the noise these cause. I, for one, don't agree with Mr Evra. You're 11 men on the pitch that speak the same language. Highly trained, over-paid athletes, and you can't kick a football between two posts because of some noise? Yeah, somehow I don't agree...

                There has been pressure on FIFA to ban the Vuvuzela, because of the noise level which detriments the game of football, and also because of the associated health risks. In the opening ceremony of the games, the announcer asked all owners of a Vuvuzela to refrain from playing, as he couldn't be heard.

                FIFA do have the powers to ban the instruments, which in one respects I feel they should, since it detracts from the quality of the game, but on the other hand, it's the South African spirit, and the world cup is being hosted there, so we should respect their traditions and cultures.

                The BBC received over 500 complaints from viewers, with those complaining claiming that the Vuvuzela has interrupted their viewing experience, and the BBC (as well as ITV) are looking for alternate ways to provide coverage of the games without the Vuvuzela noise, while still maintaining full commentary. I find this drastically ridiculous, what a waste of money. You stick with the South African spirit, annoying as it can be. If you don't like it, don't watch it. They're not blowing for the whole 90 minutes, so it's not so bad.

                However, my problem with it is here in the UK. I can cope with it on the tele, but youths wandering the streets of our towns with them, blowing furiously to try and disrupt the general calm of our neighbourhoods. They then proceed to think they're funny by hanging about in groups and blowing them all in one go. I know they're a bit of fun, but it'd be nice for people to consider others; not everyone's bad mind you, just the minority spoil it! Some pubs have banned them too; others haven't, so you might not have any being blasted in your ear at various intervals of the match.

                In the wake of the Vuvuzela revelations, it has been banned from Wimbledon and other major sporting events, such as the Millennium Stadium and the Melbourne Cricket Ground.

                Relating back to health and safety concerns, there has recently been an article in the news about a woman who ripped her windpipe from blowing on the Vuvuzela, so use it with caution!

                So, why have I rated it two stars?

                Well, all the hype surrounding it has actually meant there's a lot of attention on the Vuvuzela which means there's less focus on the World Cup. For me, as a passionate football fan, I'd rather them talk about the football, not the Vuvuzela. Also, inconsiderate people don't have respect for others and blare it out everywhere in the street, which isn't needed. Also, there are the risks associated, like pain to your ears and your throat.

                However, I should also point out that this symbolizes what South Africa is about, and that you can't take it away from them, so it should still remain in the World Cup, even if it does annoy some people.

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                  17.06.2010 22:33
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                  Great event not one to miss out on or you might have to wait another four years haha

                  The World Cup, what more can i say, we only get the pleasure to see such a magnificent event every four years, but my is it worth the wait. A full month of football, any fan's happiness (wives and girlfriends be prepared to give the remote and your viewing of tele up for a while, unless you too of course like the game yourselves, not to be biased, haha).

                  This Year South Africa have the Pleasure of hosting the World cup currently with 9 stadiums some looking magnificent in design and aesthetics.

                  Three matches a day spread out at the times of 12.30pm, 3.00pm and 7.30pm. (UK times of course). I got shivers of excitement just before it started as football plays a big part of my life and always has since a kid.

                  The World cup is made up of 32 national teams competing for that prize cup everyone wants they're hands on. All of us have our favourite players in club football over the world but now is the chance to see them play for their national teams, what more could a fan want!!. There's big teams such as Brazil, a team littered with immense talent and flare about they're football, Spain again a team to watch out for, always a threat with star striker Fernando Torres up front. Italy the current World Cup holders, can they defend they're prize possession after a four year wait, only time will tell. Argentina, Germany, Portugal and England other teams to watch out for as they look to end Italy's reign.

                  Believe it or not i like to watch a lot of the underdogs matches though as it consists of some players not as well known who may have possible potential for the future and always they try that little bit harder knowing that they are underdogs as i say making them try to prove the evil critics wrong and cause upset among the favourites. Always guarantee's a great spectacle. Some of the outside teams if you'd like being Nigeria, Korea, Chile, Ivory Coast, Uraguay and Ghana. Some show casing big name players such as Didier Drogba for Ivory Coast and Diego Forlan for Atletico Madrid.

                  O and I've forgot to mention, get your fridges topped up with alcohol to accompany you through the best month in four years haha. LIFE IS BRILLIANT!!

                  By the way, is it just me or are those Vuvuzela's getting rather annoying now. It was alright for the first couple of days but its just like a constant buzz in your ears now, like a rash just wont go away haha. Awk well it wont spoil things for me, You've got to take the good with the bad!

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                  16.06.2010 23:51
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                  Possibly Illegal.

                  Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of 2010

                  If I could offer you only one tip for the future, World Cup Football would be
                  it. The long term benefits of World Cup Football have been proved by
                  knowledgeable Bookmakers whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
                  than my own meandering experience...I will dispense this advice now.

                  Enjoy the power and beauty of Emile Heskey; oh nevermind; you will not
                  understand the power and beauty of Emile Heskey until he has faded.

                  But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of Emile Heskey and
                  recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before
                  Emile Heskey and how fabulous he really looked...

                  ...Wayne Rooney is not as fat as you imagine.

                  Don't worry about the Goalkeeper; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to save a toe poke by bending down slightly too late.
                  The real troubles in your Goalkeeper's life are apt to be things like never catching a cross that turned out to be a shot; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Wednesday, like Spain.

                  Do one thing everyday that scares John Terry.

                  Sing.

                  Don't be reckless with other people's Cheap Supermarket Car Flags, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

                  Pass.

                  Don't waste your time on North Korea; sometimes They're ahead, sometimes They're armed with rusty nuclear weapons...

                  The game is long, and in the end, it's only with Renta-Chinaman Supporter being told when to cheer.

                  Remember the compliments your team receive, forget the adverts and endorsements; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

                  Keep your old Football Shirts, throw away your old football pants.

                  Stretch.

                  Don't feel guilty if you don't know what team are the Blue ones

                  ...the most interesting teams I know don't know who their own number 22 is; or what their girlfriends really wanted to do with their lives.
                  Some of the most interesting 40 year old WaG's still don't.

                  Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone. Just ask Ledley King.

                  Maybe we'll Win, maybe we Won't, maybe we'll have penalties, maybe
                  we won't, maybe we'll beat Brazil, and just maybe Nelson Mandela will dance the funky chicken on his 100th birthday...

                  What ever you do, don't congratulate Fabio Capello too much or berate him either - his team selections are half chance, so are everybody else's.

                  Enjoy your Vuvuzela, use it every way you can...don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it's the greatest instrument you'll ever
                  own.

                  Dance...even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

                  Read the Referee's Names, even if you don't follow them. Do NOT read Greeks, they will only make you feel dizzy.

                  Get to know your French team, you never know when they'll be gone for good.

                  Be nice to the Australians; they are the best link to Football Past and the
                  people most likely we'll beat in the future.

                  Understand that World Cups come and go, but for the precious few wins you should hold on.

                  Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle and speech impediments because the older your favourite player gets, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

                  Watch the Italians once, but leave before it makes you bored; Watch Slovakia once, but leave before it makes you squeamish.

                  Travel.

                  Accept certain inalienable truths, Balls will rise, Coaches will philander, Gerrard too will get old, and when he does he'll fantasize that when he was young balls were reasonably heavy, Linesmen were noble and he could actually see Lampard.

                  Respect the Scottish Supporters. Don't expect them to support you.

                  Maybe you have a Flat screen TV, maybe you have a HDTV subscription; but you never know when either one might cut to an advert for a car.

                  Don't mess too much by styling your hair like David Beckham, or by the time you're 40, it will look like Ken Dodd.

                  Be careful whose Tickets you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Especially if your salesman is Robbie Earle

                  Lineker is a form of nostalgia, presenting Match of the Day is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than
                  it's worth. Like Adrian Chiles.

                  But trust me on the World Cup Football...

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                    15.06.2010 16:13
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                    Come on England!

                    After many weeks of speculation as to who would and would not be going to the World Cup in South Africa, Fabio Capello has finally decided on his 23 man squad that will hopefully bring England their first major trophy since winning the 1966 World Cup on home soil. After two under par performances in their last two friendlies against Mexico and Japan, certain players looked as though they may have played themselves out of the squad instead of cementing their place in it. Although England won both of these friendlies, the overall team performance was not that of a team who would be considered among the favourites for the tournament.

                    Fabio Capello took the strange decision of waiting until mid afternoon on June 1st to unveil his squad. This meant that throughout the day, the rumour mill was in full flow as stories began to get leaked as to who was in the squad and who had missed out. By the time the squad was officially announced at 4pm GMT, certain media sources had already given the squad up to 2 hours earlier. Those missing out were Scott Parker, Michael Dawson, Adam Johnson, Tom Huddlestone, Darren Bent, Leighton Baines and perhaps, most surprisingly, Theo Walcott. Parker and Dawson were not given any pitch time in either of the two friendlies so their exclusion was expected but the other players can all have grounds for being disappointed at not making the final squad, especially Walcott who figured quite heavily in both games but his final ball let him down and ultimately cost him his place in the squad.

                    England's 23 man squad is made up of 3 goalkeepers, 8 defenders, 8 midfielders and 4 strikers.

                    Of the goalkeepers, it is still not certain as to who will start the tournament against the United States on June 12th. Robert Green was the main keeper during the qualifying campaign and probably just starts as favourite ahead of David James who, despite being relegated with Portsmouth had a very good season. Hot on their heels is one of the best young English keepers for a long time, Joe Hart. This tournament has probably come a couple of years too early for him and unless, there is an injury or suspension to the other two keepers, Hart should be sat on the bench for the entire tournament.

                    The defensive players that England have chosen are very interesting. Capello has managed to talk Jamie Carragher out of international retirement, almost three years since his last England performance. Ledley King has also earnt a recall even though a long term knee problem means that he struggles to play two games in a week, let alone the three qualifying games England face in a little under two weeks. Although there is no denying King's quality, he will probably only be subjected to substitute appearances as a backup player to the normal central defenders, John Terry and captain, Rio Ferdinand. Along with Terry and Ferdinand, the first choice back four will be Glenn Johnson at right back and Ashley Cole at left back. Making up the defensive line-up are Matthew Upson who can count himself very fortunate to be in the squad ahead of Michael Dawson and Stephen Warnock who goes into the tournament with only 8 minutes of International football experience.

                    If England are to win the tournament, the midfield are going to have to deliver. Individually, England are blessed with some fine midfielders but they need to gel together as a team. Stephen Gerrard and Frank Lampard are World class players but have yet to combine in an England shirt like they do for their clubs. With the pace of Aaron Lennon or Shaun Wright-Phillips on the right wing and James Milner or Joe Cole on the left, England should be able to get plenty of quality balls into the box to attack. Gareth Barry has been included in the squad although the injury he suffered whilst playing for Manchester City against Tottenham in the final week of the domestic season means that he will probably miss all of the first round matches, making his inclusion in the squad somewhat risky. Michael Carrick is the final member of England's midfield and can count himself somewhat fortunate to be in the squad after some poor performances of late.

                    As England are only taking four strikers, each one must be in top form when the games start. Wayne Rooney, currently is one of the top three or four players in the World and will need to be on the top of his game if England are to reach their potential. With a couple of niggling injuries over the past couple of months, the whole English nation is waiting with baited breath to see if Rooney can recapture his mid-season form which made him unstoppable. Alongside Rooney will probably be England's gentle giant, Peter Crouch. Crouch is a very ungainly player but has the knack of being in the right place at the right time and his England goalscoring record is right up their with the best of them. Jemaine Defoe had a super start to the season, including scoring five in one match against Wigan. Recently, however, the goals have dried up for him which is slightly concerning. Defoe will probably start on the sub's bench and will be reliant on other people losing form in order to get a starting position. The final member of the squad is Emile Heskey. Heskey has not even been a regular starter for his club side, Aston Villa this season but Capello is a great admirer and believes Heskey can do a different job to the other strikers and included him purely on that basis.

                    Potentially, this squad can go all the way in the tournament but they will need to stay clear of injuries and suspensions if they are to realise their dream and bring back the trophy to an expectant nation.

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                      07.06.2010 21:34
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                      Unbelievable

                      The month of sport, just as the Summer starts that most men in the world go mad for. The Fifa World Cup started in 1930 and has continued every four years, with the exceptions of 1942 and 1946 during World War II.

                      The World Cup Qualifiers start just under 2 years before the World Cup Finals start, with over 200 countries attempting to get in the top 2 in their Qualifying Group, it is normally very competitive at the matches.

                      When the top 2 of every group are put through to the Finals the best Runners-Up's play in the Play-Offs to get into the Finals. You may remember Thierry Henry handing the football to cross the ball into the box to put Ireland out of the World Cup.

                      Uruguay won the first ever World Cup, Brazil have won the most World Cups (5) and Italy are the current holders and have won 4 overall.

                      There are atleast 5 or 6 countries going for the 2010 win but we will have to wait an see who wins on the 11th July 2010 in Johannesburg!

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                        11.05.2010 17:02
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                        I think this squad has a chance

                        My 23 players

                        Today (11th of May), Mr. Capello announced his 30 man squad for the world cup. He has to trim the numbers down to 23 and so here are my 23 players.

                        So Capello's picks are:

                        Goalkeepers: Joe Hart, David James, Robert Green.

                        Defenders: Leighton Baines, Jamie Carragher, Ashley Cole, Michael Dawson, Rio Ferdinand, Glen Johnson, Ledley King, John Terry, Matthew Upson, Stephen Warnock.

                        Midfielders: Gareth Barry, Michael Carrick, Joe Cole, Steven Gerrard, Tom Huddlestone, Adam Johnson, Frank Lampard, Aaron Lennon, James Milner, Scott Parker, Theo Walcott, Shaun Wright-Phillips.

                        Forwards: Darren Bent, Peter Crouch, Jermain Defoe, Emile Heskey, Wayne Rooney.

                        So no great surprises there, I suppose the return of Ledley King and Carragher hasd been strongly tipped and the addition of Adam Johnson a nod to his strong second half of the season after his transfer to Man City from Middlesbrough.

                        So we have to pick 23 players. We have to pick 3 goalkeepers so we can take the three named here as read I think. All of them have been in reasonable form for there club and represent the best available at the moment.

                        Defenders

                        The picks are Leighton Baines, Jamie Carragher, Ashley Cole, Michael Dawson, Rio Ferdinand, Glen Johnson, Ledley King, John Terry, Matthew Upson, Stephen Warnock.


                        We have 10 players here and I think we can assume Capello will pick at least 7 and maybe eight players. So who are definites?
                        Ashley Cole, Rio Ferdinand, Glen Johnson, John Terry, and Matthew Upson, all have been constant Capello picks. There are injury worries over Cole and Ferdinand but both are certainties for the squad at least.

                        So we have to pick 2 or 3 players, for me they would be Ledley King - probably the most talented defender England but with dodgy knees, Jamie Carragher - fully commited and can play centre half and full back, you know he won't let you down and if there is an eighth defender then I'd go for Michael Dawson who I think has had a decent season for Tottenham.

                        Midfield

                        Gareth Barry, Michael Carrick, Joe Cole, Steven Gerrard, Tom Huddlestone, Adam Johnson, Frank Lampard, Aaron Lennon, James Milner, Scott Parker, Theo Walcott, Shaun Wright-Phillips.

                        Again there are definites - Gerrard, Lampard, Barry (if fit), Milner and for me Joe Cole. So again if we have 7 picks my other two are Walcott for his pace and Lennon because he can take players on and give you an option if the team is struggling.

                        Attackers
                        Capello has picked five and I can see all five going, so that's Rooney, Crouch, Defoe, Bent and Heskey.


                        So my 23 are
                        Goalkeepers: Joe Hart, David James, Robert Green.

                        Defenders: Jamie Carragher, Ashley Cole, Michael Dawson, Rio Ferdinand, Glen Johnson, Ledley King, John Terry, Matthew Upson,

                        Midfielders: Gareth Barry, Joe Cole, Steven Gerrard, Frank Lampard, Aaron Lennon, James Milner, Theo Walcott.

                        Forwards: Darren Bent, Peter Crouch, Jermain Defoe, Emile Heskey, Wayne Rooney.

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                          10.05.2010 23:37
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                          Potential winners, but they'll have to get past Brazil in the semis

                          The "Greatest Show on Earth" will arrive in South Africa this summer, the latest stop for a festival of football that just keeps growing. The Rainbow Nation promises to provide a colourful spectacle with 32 nations clashing for football's top prize.

                          With it will come the inevitable patriotic posturing as once again the levels of expectation for our under-performing boys rise as we hope desperately for our first tournament win since 66 and all that.

                          This year optimism has been fuelled by an almost flawless qualifying campaign masterminded by heavyweight of world football, Fabio Capello. He claims anything less than a semi-final place would be a failure. The bookies have already made us third favourites. Is this justified for a team who only two years ago failed to make the grade as one of the best 16 teams in Europe? Can a team whose sole success was on home-soil 44 years ago become only the 2nd country to win the World Cup outside its own continent?

                          THE TEAM

                          English teams have been a strong force in the Champions League for several years now, meaning our top players have experience in playing huge games. Ashley Cole, Frank Lampard, Wayne Rooney, Rio Ferdinand, John Terry and Steve Gerrard, all experienced European campaigners, could be put in the "World Class" bracket and provide a solid nucleus to the side.

                          Despite this, there are question-marks hanging over the team. The position of goalkeeper has yet to be filled convincingly. The first choice back four of Terry, Ferdinand, Cole and Johnson have struggled with fitness and form at different times this season. Gerrard and Lampard have still yet to form the kind of cohesive partnership that could see their explosive club-form replicated on the world stage. Rooney finally looks jaded after a magnificent season and could have run out of steam at just the wrong moment.

                          Overall however, England have a first choice eleven that could potentially be the envy of most of the teams in the tournament. With experienced players proven at the highest level in Europe, one of the world's top strikers and an impressive qualifying campaign (in which they managed 34 goals in 10 games) behind them, they shouldn't be lacking in confidence. Whether the fear that crippled their performance at the last world cup remains has yet to be seen.


                          THE MANAGER

                          Fabio Capello has impressive club pedigree winning 7 Serie A Titles (although one was later revoked) for three different Italian sides and the Spanish title twice with Real Madrid. He also has one Champions League title to his name.

                          Seen as a ruthless disciplinarian, he acted quickly in removing the captaincy from Terry and tightening up after previous lax regimes. However, his flexibility will be further tested when the World Cup draws near; he has repeatedly said that only in-form and fit players will make his England team. Ledley King, Owen Hargreaves, Steve Gerrard and Ashley Cole may test that resolve.

                          He has proven adept at getting the best out of his players wherever he has been and has had teams which play in a variety of styles. He quickly garnered the respect of both his players and the public in this country and cuts an authoritative and determined character.

                          One thing is certain; if England aren't successful this year, there will be no "Wally With A Brolley" and no vegetables (Swedes or Turnips) to blame. Capello is a proven winner.





                          THE DRAW

                          Capello has of course denied it, but the draw couldn't really have been much kinder to England.
                          The only downside is that England, traditionally slow starters, begin their campaign against their toughest group opponents the USA. The inconsistent yet determined American team have plenty of experience in playing against the England boys in the Premier League and are capable of a shock result as they showed with their victory against Spain in the confederations cup. The Americans, despite goalkeeper Tim Howard, are vulnerable at the back but will look to catch England cold in a game in which really they have nothing to loose.

                          My prediction: England 1 USA 1

                          Algeria come next for England and although there is some talent in the team with Nadir Belhadj and Rafik Safai and they will be determined to impressive in the native continent, their defensive frailty and a erratic goalkeeper should provide a fairly comfortable victory

                          England 3 Algeria 0

                          The organised Slovenians are next up. Adept at keeping the ball but lacking much in the way of creativity, it will be a question of patience for England in breaking down the stubborn defence. Could be a game made for Peter Crouch

                          England 2 Slovenia 0

                          ENGLAND GO THROUGH AS GROUP WINNERS

                          SECOND ROUND

                          It's difficult to see who England will face in the Second Round. With Germany likely winners of Group D it could be anyone out of Australia, Serbia and Ghana. I imagine England will be keen to avoid the Australians and in any case, I fancy Ghana to finish above them in their own continent. Imposing and defensively sound, the Ghanaians will be another tough nut for England to crack, but you would expect them to have just about enough

                          England 2 Ghana 1

                          QUARTER FINAL

                          Realistically, England's likely opponents in the last 8 should be France, although it's very possible the ageing French team may already have slipped up and been eliminated by then. The French team are well past their best and are short on confidence. Coach Domench is probably the least popular manager to make it to the World Cup; they were poor in a very average qualifying group and cheated their way past a limited Irish side in the play-offs. The omens don't look good and I imagine there's many a French supporter that would be relieved just to get to the quarters.

                          England 1 France 0 aet

                          SEMI FINAL

                          So into the semis and not a penalty in sight for England! With expectations at home no doubt reaching fever pitch, likely opponents Brazil may prove a step too far. Brazil have household names in Robinho, Ronaldinho and Kaka but, unusually, have a rock-solid defence marshalled by one of the best goalkeepers in the world. After a tiring season for many of our players, and a tough quarter final, the Brazilians have the potential to pass us to death. England have a character and a passion that not many teams will match but the journey will end here for Capello's boys.

                          England 1 Brazil 2

                          SUMMARY

                          There is plenty to be optimistic about this summer. It promises to be a wide open tournament with 6 or 7 potential winners. There is no doubting that England fit into this elite group and look a safe bet for a quarter final place at least. From there, anything can happen and if the team has some momentum and Rooney and other key players are on song, England have a manager with the experience and confidence to go all the way. England will be able to play the fast tempo football that comes naturally to them in the South African Winter, providing the players aren't too exhausted from a long, arduous season.

                          Whatever happens to England, we will be in for a month of unprecedented hype as the media circus descends upon South Africa and football once again dominates the front and back pages. WAGs, barely literate newspaper "insider" columns, dull autobiographies, obscure ex-footballers, and half-dead ex-managers will compete for their moment in the spotlight in the most over-the-top and over-exposed event the world has ever seen. And I can't wait for it to begin!

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                            06.05.2010 23:19
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                            Can't Wait!

                            On a global scale the Fifa World Cup is the biggest sporting event you are ever likely to witness. Whoever and wherever you are you can't avoid the hype and excitement that this tournament creates. Love it or hate it in June and July of 2010 the world cup will simply be everywhere!

                            This time around the competition is going to be held in South Africa. This is the first time an African Nation has had the privilege of hosting the event. But the big question is, who is going to win? In the lead up to the tournament millions of dollars will be spent betting on this massive event. So who are the likely candidates?

                            Here is a list of the top ten most likely winners of the world cup. These are not personal opinions, they are consistent with what the professionals say. So starting at the tenth most likely we will go through the list all the way up to the favourites. You will also see exactly why these teams are tipped. So starting with the tenth favourites here we go;

                            10) Ivory Coast - No I'm not kidding! These are the surprise package of the World Cup. A small country but packed with massive stars. Players such as Didier Drogba and Salomon Kalou are deadly in front of goal. A powerful line up that play with style and freedom. Although most people will write them off from the start, they make well spring a few surprises.

                            9) Portugal - A team that have done well in the last few tournaments and have a massive star player. Christiano Ronaldo has the ability to win games for the Portuguese, with his dead ball ability and blistering pace he is a player who can cause real chaos to the opposition. Other than that the team is weaker than in previous years so again they are seen as outsiders.

                            8) France - After winning the Cup back in 1998 most of the big names have now retired from the game. However they do have a good young squad with decent potential. If the young stars hit their form at the right time France could be right up there at the end of the tournament.

                            7) Holland - Known as the greatest team never to win the Cup, Holland have been underperforming for years. They have a strong workman like squad who will always give 100%. Players like Dirk Kuyt and Robin Van Persie will give their all and with the flair of Arjen Robben, on their day Holland are capable of beating anyone. However there are a few weak links in the squad which could cost the team in the long run.

                            6) Italy - The defending champions and another team that are not to be underestimated. They were not tipped to do well four years ago but proved everyone wrong. They work hard and are strong in defence. A team that on it's day is very hard to beat.

                            5) Germany - Write the Germans off at your peril. They are a team that know how to win. They may not be packed with massive names but they are a strong well organised unit. They play with their heads rather than their hearts and this often sees them through. If their star forward Miroslav Klose plays well they will be a danger for any defence.

                            4) Argentina - A country with a massive world cup pedigree. Although they only just scraped through qualifying the team is tipped to do well. The team itself has a few weak links however they have a secret weapon. Lionel Messi is currently the greatest player on the planet. With his stunning pace and ball control he can rip a team to shreds. The entire team can have a shocker but if Messi turns it on then Argentina can beat anyone. Managed by the ever controversial Diego Maradona they really are a team that could either win it or go out in the group stages. A really exciting prospect in either case.

                            3) England - It's forty four years since England last won the Cup. They are a team always tipped to do well but they always seem to under perform. This time round they have star players such as Wayne Rooney, Frank Lampard and Steven Gerrard who are all capable of winning matches. A good solid backline and a deep squad mean that this is a team that could easily go all the way. It's seems to be whether or not they have the mental strength to beat the big teams, but on their day they certainly are capable.

                            2) Brazil - Having won the tournament five times, Brazil are the most successful team in the Cup. A country that lives and breathes football, the expectation is always high and even the poorest of Brazilian squads always has a chance. This time round they have a strong squad and with players such as Kaka, Ronaldinho and Robinho they have a great chance of lifting the cup. A technically strong set of players who have pace and flair and the ability to create chances out of nothing. Brazil are sure to be right up there at the end of the tournament.

                            1) Spain - It is a little surprising that a team who have never won the World Cup are favourites. However they won the European Cup two years back and have one of the strongest squads the world has ever seen. Players such as Fernando Torres, Carlos Puyol, Gerard Pique, Cesc Fabergas, Xabi Alonso and David Villa have the potential to destroy any opposition. On paper Spain should walk this tournament but they don't have the benefit of experience. They are not used to being there at the end of the World Cup and this poses the question do they have the mental ability to play well when the pressure is on? That said, you would be a brave man to bet against them!

                            So there you have it. Some massive teams that all stand a chance of lifting the cup. One thing to remember is that the favourite team rarely wins, football can be very unpredictable and you never can tell what will happen in the big games. Whatever happens, 2010 will be a summer to remember.

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                              16.12.2009 11:29
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                              A new football era

                              E-ngland
                              A-lgeria
                              S-lovenia
                              Y-anks

                              Spells easy!

                              (The Sun headline the day after the draw)

                              As Tiger Woods dreaded opening up the next advent calendar door last Christmas, yet another blonde shouting 'surprise' behind it, ticking another five million off his endorsements, the curse of Gillette has struck again. Thierry Henry started it all off with yet more Gallic cheating in the World Cup qualifier against Ireland, whilst poor old Roger Federer awaits his fete in 2010. To be fair they deserve all they get for making those bloody awful adverts. They are even worse than Ian Botham and Alan Lambs British meat adverts!

                              Tiger may have hit a water hazard after a bad drive and ended up in the trees but he's far better off than many that look up to him, like those kids in South Africa, the host of soccers World Cup. This is a real chance for Africa to start erasing those poverty stereotypes and putting on a real show, Africa's coming of age, huge commercial interest on RSA because of that emerging market. If this comes off then their growing domestic game could become very big indeed, an African select eleven more than capable of winning the World Cup with the talent pouring out of that particular continent right now.

                              -The Draw-

                              'Fabio Capello' (by Givenchy for men) has got a big Italian smile on his face as England got the easiest group possible in South Africa. His team won every game that mattered to top their qualifying group and will do the same here, USA the only resistance.

                              ----Group C----

                              Game one - England v U S A

                              Rustenburg at altitude of 1500m (top of Mount Snowdon)

                              Date -- Saturday June 12th at 7:30pm

                              Game Two - England v Algeria (Cape Town)

                              Date - Friday June 18th at 7:30pm

                              Game Three - England v Slovenia (Port Elizabeth)

                              Date - Wednesday June 23rd at 3:0pm


                              ******** Last 16 for England *******

                              The tournament is moddled on the Champions League with 32 teams entered this time, eight groups of 4, the most ever entrants. The winner of England's group will play the runner-up of Group D in Rustenburg on Saturday June 26th at 7:30pm. The runners-up in C play the winners of D in Bloemfontein on Sunday June 27th at 3:0pm.

                              So its England v Germany/Australia/Serbia or Ghana....

                              --------------------------------------------

                              -England Quarter-Final scenarios in order of likelihood-

                              England v France or Argentina
                              England v Nigeria or Mexico
                              England v Uruguay or South Korea
                              England v Greece or South Africa

                              England's last 16 game is a stinker at altitude and as tough as 1998 when we played and lost to Argentina in that amazing game under Hoddle with young Beckham getting sent off. If we do get to the Q/F its Soccer City in Joburg at 6200ft up or sea level at the beautiful Cape Town. I think we know we won't get past the quarters though.

                              - Other teams -

                              The World Cup is just as much about Brazil as it is England for the fans here and although they have lost that wonderful Samba style over the years they still look cool in those shirts. In their group they have North Korea, Ivory Coast and Portugal. It looks a tough group and who ever thrashes N.Korea (their first WC for 44 years) the most may go through.

                              Argentina have ironically been bu**ered up by their best ever player and just scrambled through under Maradona. They have Nigeria, South Korea and Greece to negotiate. I still don't think they will win that group though, with or without Messi. England v Argentina is on the cards guys.

                              European Champions Spain are in the comfort zone with Honduras, Chile and Switzerland to see off. Holland, who won every game in their qualifying group, plays six times African qualifiers Cameroon, and then experience campaigners Japan and Denmark, as easy as it gets. Defending champions Italy also have an easy ride with Paraguay, Slovakia and New Zealand.

                              -The Squad-

                              I think Capello has his squad set in his mind and there will be few changes or surprises. Michael Owen pushed his case with that nostalgic hatrick in Germany on the same Wolfsburg ground he got that memorable one for England in the legendary 5-1 game, and older strikers not uncommon in World Cups. Raul and Del Pierro are heading for their fourth World Cups alongside Beck's. But there's no room for sentimentality and Defoe is the updated version of Owen and will be picked ahead of him. I would like to see a couple of ball winners added though, too many ponces in the England midfield if you ask me, their huge salaries too much of a comfort zone to fall back on if they do play badly. I would love a Jimmy Bullard type in their mixing it up, hard work and will to win always better than big reputations in the camp, someone like Shawcross of Stoke at the back and Milner in the middle to put Lamps or Gerard on the bench.

                              Wasn't it interesting that old man Beckham was caught on film last month inhaling for his asthma, the smog of L.A. and the altitude of Rustenburg sure to need some breathing assists for some of the veterans in the World Cup. Interestingly, if you don't suffer the ailment, the inhalers still help you breathe better and so improve performance, a suspiciously high number of athletes claiming asthma conditions, Paula Radcliffe and Rebecca Adlington to name but two Brits. 50% of Olympic cyclist in Atlanta suffered from asthma and over half of the cross country skiers claimed asthma symptoms in the Nagano Winter Olympics in 1998 so to use inhalers and you do wonder how they manage to be so asthmatic up in their in the clear air of the Alps where most were bought up. One suspects a steep rise of asthma declarations for South Africa 2010 and no doubt one or two cough remedies taken when they shouldn't have been. I'm not accusing Beck's as his body language was innocent when he talked about it but we know by Andre Aggasi`s revelations that he was taking Crystal Meth and for some reason the highly sophisticated testers didn't detect it, the integrity of the sport protecting the cheats.

                              My starting eleven for June 12th

                              Hart
                              Warnock
                              J Terry
                              Upson
                              G.Cahill
                              Gerard
                              Lampard
                              Lennon
                              Barry
                              Rooney
                              Defoe

                              -Fans-

                              Don't believe what the South Africans are saying that South Africa is fairly safe for tourists. Its not. 46 million blacks want what the 4 million whites have and it's not pretty. If you go downtown Joburg at the weekends and your a tourist you will probably get mugged. Travel in groups and don't let women walk alone in Joburg. The whites and rich blacks live behind high walls and electric fences and barking fighting dog's growl behind them. I worked in a backpacker's hotel in Cape Town for 10 months as barman/night guard and it was a challenge to say the least. I wasn't allowed to use the hotel gun but others were. It was waved a few times at the locals. They would try to steal everything, diving gear, luggage, surfboards and washing off the line, regularly disappearing over the wall . If you are a tourist at the footy you are a target guys. Cape Town, on th eothe rhand, is the safest city and no worse than a US one but if you go to the wrong areas violent muggings are the norm. Four times I had to call an ambulance for guests. This was in 1998 and crimes have apparently got worse ten years on.

                              -Getting around-

                              As soon as the draw was complete, flights, hotels and hire car prices quadrupled for the World Cup weeks. It could cost up to 800 Rand a day for a car now. One piece of rubble kicked up on South Africa's less than great roads and chips the paintwork you could be charged all manner of access if you don't take the full insurance. England's ticket allocation in Rustenburg is not 4000 to avoid trouble but because that's how many hotel beds they have up on the veldt. England will take ten times that so Rustenburg will need a least 10,000 tents there. The infrastructure isn't great in RSA either and when I drove on there roads I remember that even the main road from Cape Town to Joburg was unlit at night, your headlights lining you up on the road ready to hit something. Wildlife and drunks would regularly catch the beam of those lights. South African drivers love a drink, the reason being they just get fined and not banned most of the time.

                              The trains are good between cities but there's no real local town to town network and they were still operating a 'voluntary' class seating system on the train - tourists in first and blacks in third. Buses and coaches travel across country but again its long distances and infrequent and so tiring. Local buses were hopeless when I was there and you used to have to use the minibus taxes the black guys used, a very rustic experience to say the least. These are fine to use on the beach runs but not safe for tourists to use in most places. You have to pass your fare forward to the driver when he's doing 90mph around the corners as he then passes the change back through the paying punters. Have the right money. Chickens and all sorts fly everywhere!

                              -Venues-

                              Cape Town is a fabulous and stunning city with great beaches and lots to do. The Green Point Stadium is near the beach and also the Victoria & Albert Waterfront tourist area, the safest place in Africa by far. Cape Town is like a southern US city in racial make up and so not too dangerous. Base yourself there if you can. I wouldn't want to stay too long in Rustenburg as its mostly mining country. Port Elizabeth, for England last group game, is an industrial town by the ocean that's 50% black and not as safe as near bye East London higher in the hills. The Garden route up the coast from Cape Town is stunning though.
                              A possible last 16 game at Bloemfontein will need some serious travel pans as its back up on the veldt near Pretoria and so wintry. I need not tell you any more about a Q/F in Joburg, a truly scary place in all but two or three suburbs. Not that we will get there anyway.

                              -My Tips-

                              It's got to be Spain to win guys! They have quality all over the park and are matching England for teams progressing in the Champions League to be playing at the right level leading up to the finals. Alonso...Fabregas...Torres...etc...

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