German Balls (Football World Cup)

Member Name: marandina

Product:	Football World Cup
Date:	17/06/06 (198 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: It's been a wonderful start

Disadvantages: You may hate footie

My earliest memory of the World Cup is from the 1974 tournament, spookily from Germany. There’s an irony there somewhere, either because there’s a German link or because there is a dirty, great World Cup tournament thingy on at the mo. Whichever it is, I still remember those Dutch Masters from the mid 70’s not being quite good enough to overcome the Vorsprung Durch Technologie of the German team of that time. Nope, not even a first minute penalty was enough to rattle the German team with “Der Bomber” - Gerd Muller (a hero of mine at the time) – scoring the winner. 32 years later and the biggest thing since the last Quidditch tournament in Harry Potter Land yielded another squillion bucks for its author as well as springing Viktor Krum on an unsuspecting world, has captured the imagination. From the colours of Togo to the bright future of Dutch Orange and from the Samba beat of the Brazilians to the mesmeric football of the Argentineans, we couldn’t have asked for a better start to the most watched media event on the Globe.

Sadly, I’ve missed both of Argentina’s impressive games but then the organisers will insist on arranging kick off times in the afternoon and early evening when most of us are at work. Whoever devised the 5pm KO start time should be summarily put up against a wall and shot (ooh…erm….that wasn’t anti-German jingoism at all……honest). In fact, if there’s one aspect pre and current World Cup that’s intrigued me is our out-dated attitude towards Germans and Germany. With The Sun sponsoring a footie song to the tune of “Dad’s Army” called “Who Do You Think You Are Kidding Jurgen Klinsmann?” to the German police saying that they will arrest anyone doing the Goosestep, it’s hard to believe that the Second World War finished over 60 years ago, such is the entrenched rivalry between the two nations. Still, apparently the English fans in Germany are getting on extremely well with their German hosts so that must be good for Anglo-Deutsche relationships so maybe we can finally move on from that apocryphal episode of Fawlty Towers which everyone remembers so well (you know, the one where Fawlty cracks the acerbic comment about invading Poland). Some of my best friends online are German, don’tcha know and I salute you. Oh...erm....make that a friendly wave.

Needless to say, England has made their usual rip-roaring start to the competition. With a 1-0 trouncing of Paraguay followed by a 2-0 demolition of Trinidad and Tobago, it looks like we are destined to go all the way. Well, OK, it’s not looking good at all really, is it? Let’s not kid ourselves but 2 wins is 2 wins and we’ve never, ever qualified after 2 games in the group stages of a major tournament before so big up to big Crouchy and the lads for landing the 6 points even if we haven’t won any friends with the manner of the victories. I still remember France playing terribly all the way through to the final in 1998 and then dispatching Brazil 3-0 in the final even if Ronaldo was busy throwing up in the dressing room just before kick off. It’s best not to show your hand too early or at least that’s what I’m telling myself at the moment as we get ready for the Sweden game. Therein lies another link as I suavely (yes, I can be quite suave at times y'know. In fact, I'm typing this dressed in my Huw Hefner dressing gown) move to comment about our passionate Swedish Manager; hot-blooded Sven. He really is THE politest of polite celebrators of a goal we’ve ever seen. With a gentle clap and a slap on Steve Mclaren’s back, you can just imagine him telling the boys that they’ve played jolly well after the game. His rebuke of Crouch after chipping a penalty, wildly over the bar against Jamaica must have been a collector’s item. If only we could have all been there to see THAT.

The saga involving Wayne Rooney’s foot was incredible wasn’t it? One minute we’re all passing our collective, positive energies through that celebrity conduit that is Uri Geller, the next the Manchester United branch of BUPA is threatening the FA with a law suit if he plays one second earlier than he’s deemed fit enough to play after having undergone numerous assessments and re-assessments on his affected metatarsal. With Alex Ferguson getting even redder in the face than normal (which takes some doing), bravo to the new gung-ho Erikkson who clearly doesn’t care any more and is willing to take the world on in his quest for the Holy Grail. Incidentally, for those that like their footie chat irreverent but topical, do try the Baddiel and Skinner Podcasts, the latest of which is at the link mentioned at the end of the opinion. It’s really funny stuff. I particularly like the passage about people’s nicknames at school in the very first Podcast – well worth checking out.

The balls in use at the World Cup have attracted a few column inches in the papers. Flying and swerving a bit more than the traditional ball, we’ve already seen some spectacular long-range shots going in. This was underlined on the very first day as Germany beat Costa Rica 4-2. Within minutes of the game kicking off, the German full back had pinged a beauty into the top corner only to be outdone by the Alice-band wearing Thorsten Frings late on as he scored an even better goal. I’m all in favour of anything that results in more goals although I did worry at one point at some of the suggestions that came out of the U.S. a few years ago. Clearly perturbed at the fact that not every game was going to finish 4-3 allowing for plenty of ad-breaks and lots of that organ music you get at ice hockey and baseball games, the Yankee ad-meisters suggested bigger goals to boost the score lines in games. Perhaps anticipating this for the latest World Cup, we took our secret weapon, the 6’7” Peter Crouch. Locked away in the plane hold in a crate with a picture of Geoffrey the Toys-R-Us Giraffe on the outside, Crouchy emerged in Germany much to the amusement of the other teams but little did they know they’d we’d outthought them if the decision had been taken to make the goals bigger. One comment, in particular, made me laugh when a Voxbox of the other players asked whether they’d seen an opponent as big as Crouch before. Yes, they replied, but only in the MBA (Major Basketball League) in the States!

Highlights from the group stages so far have included a rampant start by Spain, a gutsy 0-0 draw between 10-man Trinidad and Tobago and Sweden and Brazil managing to play around the timber stack that is Ronaldo for much of the game. It’s a shame to see this brilliant player so shockingly overweight but surely Brazil can’t continue drawing their tactics on the whiteboard with most of the arrows drawn in a circle going around the big man just to avoid him. He reminds me of the fat Scouser, Mick Quinn who played for Coventry City a few years ago. Despite his size and condition, he still played out of skin on one foggy Boxing Day morning to trounce my beloved Aston Villa 3-0. Bah and bah but Brazil’s a different matter from Coventry innit?

Finally, although I note most people will have headed for the metaphorical exit by now, I was listening to a TalkSport debate about the England team on the radio only yesterday that surprised me by its venom. Graham “Beaky” Beecroft and Adrian Durham were openly swapping insults and calling each other “prats” on air over the likely composition of the England team in coming rounds. It certainly didn’t appear to be put on and underlined how carried away we get with it all. I’m sure that they’ve kissed and made up now or are, alternatively, working for Little Piddle FM following a slew of complaints from the listening public. Either way, it suggested to me that there is more to life than football. Then again, as Bill Shankly once said famously, “Football’s not a matter of life and death; it’s more important than that”.

Danke schon for reading and here’s to a great World Cup. May the best team win (as long as it’s England, he he)

Der Mara

http://podcast.timesonline.co.uk/serve.php/26/he_ picked_the_roo_my_darling.mp3

Summary: Observations of WC