Unintelligible Madness (Alternative energy sources)

Member Name: SlyClone2k

Product:	Alternative energy sources
Date:	01/04/03 (223 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: This makes no sense, It's so in the wrong category it hurts, I'm going to get told off for blatantly breaking the rules

Disadvantages: Does anyone read these do you think, Will anyone notice that I put the word wibble here?

First late me say a big welcome to all those that have made it here. You're doing well, but I'm afraid if you are really looking for a social commentary on renewable energy sources then you may have been somewhat misled. Yes I've lured you here under false pretences. So what can you expect? Well I was commissioned to produce a piece on Dutch Ovens, and in the words of the commissioner "You know, those portly things that women on flour advertisements stand around. A Dutch oven."

Bizarre as it may sound upon looking up Dutch ovens, on the fantubulous wibe wurgle wib [1] *Special footnote note: These footnotes will appear at the foot of the opinion [2]* there was actually very little to be found, Dutch-wise, regarding their own ovens. They appear to have been popularly adopted by the Americans, as a sort of barbeque, but let's face it those Americans will adopt anything.

So what is a Dutch oven? Well here I'm a little confused, I would have seen a Dutch oven as an oven used by the Dutch. If, indeed, they are used in flour advertisements [4] then I don't remember seeing them. But I did spend a little time in Holland during my long distant youth [5] so I may have developed some scarring around the prefrontal cortex [6], the sort of scarring that leaves an ineluctable impression on a young mind. For some reason, probably the one previously mentioned, I'd envisaged it as a clay oven, but in fact it's [3] a form of metal saucepan. For cooking with. Usually outside. It's about here my interested waned, I could have rambled on about how they are cast iron, how they are cooked over hot coals, brickets and wood[11]. I could have announced they come in a variety of sizes, and can be used for a variety of things including boiling and deep frying but essentially it's all very dull so I'm going to tell you a little story instead. Ah yes the uselessness of this opinion knows no bounds, perhaps then you could r
ate it on its entertainment value instead?

Once upon a time a blue turtle and green penguin decided that it was time to take a trip. After considering their options for some time they decided on a picnic. This wasn't to be any ordinary picnic though. The last of the Mohicans was around and stating his case. He was certain that the sun wouldn't shine more than fifteen minutes if the moon was only at a quarter of its normal size. This represented something of an issue as the last Mohican was particular pedantic and decidedly unhelpful when it came to allowing picnics on the plain that flew above the golden horizon.

But the blue turtle wasn't to be deterred. He took to the sea and with two strokes of his powerful paddles was gently coasting, penguin abreast his back, toward the final place of the 20 minute sunsets.

As he drifted on the Mohican danced that dance of the summoning. But he was more cautious than ever, events had taken place at the last dance that had taught him a valuable lesson; 'tis better to dance with care than to fall off the edge of a cloud and land in a small puddle of bacon bits. Soon his dance reached fever pitch, and from his position high above the lemon pith he noticed the penguin and the turtle cruising away, cruising toward a better life amongst the mangoes and the papaya.

Hidden message that makes no sense: Fingers were just a form of toboggan that was made out of wool on a hot summers drain pipe. If you read this op leave a comment stating what the 10th word of this paragraph was.

But his plan was working, the dance was conjuring the spirit of the little drummer boy who had his homework eaten by his pet badger. His mother had told him not to keep the badger, but little boys are as little boys do. That's why they liked to conjure up his spirit. That and he had a nice drum. So on the drummer boy came, he pitter-pattered the skin of his tum, while one of the lives of a stray ca
t [12] scrabbled about on top of his drum.

Soon the drummer boy had picked up full speed and the sky was turning purple. The sun rose to its zenith, turned in to a large multicoloured beach ball and a sea-lion jumped up and plucked it from the keepers hands and span it upon it's nose. The moon, seeing the sun having so much fun, became outrageously jealous and held it's breath until it turned into a ball of marmalade.

The penguin was particularly partial to marmalade, and in a moment of madness flapped her wings and took to the air. The air was light, and wind whirled past her head. She looked down and saw the blue turtle looking up. His little mouth opening and closing conveying an important message, that could the penguin have heard it would have most probably sent her crashing to the ground with out so much of a sniff of the marmalade moon.

But she flew on, past the seagull that lived at the top of the world, past the sparrow that lived on the seagull, and past the small tabby cat that was sick of eating pilchards. On she flew past a small metal box made out of wood, on she went past the stars made out of cardboard and shiny gold paper. Until, finally, she plunged waste deep in to the moon.

The surrounding ripples caused a shift in the space time continuum and the drummer boy became more real than spirit. This caused something of an issue as he had no physical method of propulsion. He dropped like a feather attached to a brick toward the lake of pantaloons he had been searching for these many years.

The penguin had her fill of orange shred and turned around, the turtle hadn't got far because the pantaloon delta was overflowing with legs that were running to get a better view of the impending change of the sunsets.

But eventually the penguin got back to the turtle. They turned and blew a raspberry at the fruit salad. The fruit salad pleased the Mohican greatly and he stopped his dance. The turtle
and penguin reached the shores of the 20 minutes sunsets, though the drummer boys' progress had meant that it was now an 18 minute and 57 second sunset. They decided not to change the name and they all lived happily ever after.


[1] That has already produced for red squiggles in Word, when will word begin to understand that sometimes imagination is a more powerful tool than the spell checker?
[2] That's something of a disclaimer too, you can't have footnotes roaming around idly. You'd never find them, and if you did it's unlikely they'd be in a suitable condition for reading purposes.
[3] And I say "it's" but in actuality this is just poor language skills, they aren't an "it's", they are indeed a they, as they come in a range but more of that back in the main strip
[4] Although I can't actually remember the last time I saw a flour ad, and if I did it would have likely been accompanied by those men in the black hats from Homepride not women wearing clogs
[5] At 2 I spoke fluent Dutch. Apparently.
[6] The bit of your Brian [7] that deals with memory [8]
[7] That's a purposeful typo [9]
[8] See this is becoming educational now isn't it? [10]
[9] As opposed to those ones that make reading an opinion difficult.
[10] Why these things are building up like a child with Lego bricks.
[11] And it was knowing that I'd be mentioning the burning of fossil fuels that prompted me to choose this particular subject to clutter with this foolishness.
[12] That was on life 7 of 9

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