The answer to all spoiled kids problems.... parents who say NO. (Are children today too spoiled?)

Name: thegarleon

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Product:	Are children today too spoiled?
Date:	19/09/06 (747 review reads)
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Advantages: In the long run it leads to a quieter life.

Disadvantages: Try it and be the bad guy for a while.

Are children today too spoiled? Hmm interesting one that. Think I will have to respond to this one. Folks, gather round and prepare to hear a wee rant !

Comfy ? Ok then I will begin....

----- Are children today too spoiled ? -----

Yes and no. Suitably obscure but I shall explain myself. Children today are only spoiled too much by other people's standards. By that I mean, spoiled in relation to what or whom? If you were to give a kid from the 1900's a wind up car and a bar of chocolate, he would play with said car and munch his sweety with the look of a man possesed. However if you were to give a kid from the 2000's the same car and bar of chocolate, he would be looking for the £20 note in the card and the latest PS3 game to go with it.

Yes I know that is a bit of an obtuse comparison, but you get the idea. The reason some folks THINK kids today are too spoiled is because either THEY are the ones doing the spoiling, OR they are jealous that they were never spoiled themselves. Sad but true.

----- "In My Day, we got an orange and halfpenny" -----

Oh yes we have all heard it. "In my day...." blah blah blah. Wages have increased, the media is a more targeting industry and expectations have risen. When it comes to times like Christmas and birthdays compared to years ago... but what about all the other days of the year. I can't really remember getting presents , games or toys at any other time. THAT may sound old fashioned to some, but I am serious. It looks to me like some parents have gone a little crazy when it comes to giving their kids stuff. Pester power and the media both have one vital flaw. It is a huge flaw, and the secret to beating peater power and advertising is .... are you ready?...... TO IGNORE IT. Wow . There is a revelation. So by saying that your kids get stuff throught the year because their friends do, only sets off a vicious circle. Sorry folks but kids LIE. Little Johnny may be telling you that his friend has 20 games for his psp, but his friend doesn't even bloody have one. Infact his friend is too busy nagging his single parent mother to pop into Dixons and take out a 29.5% interest purchase to get an f-ing psp in the first place. Parents who allow themselves to be nagged are just teaching their kids a bad lesson. The lesson is that you can get everything you want in life straight away.

Oh yes you can have it all Son. Mummy and Daddy will give you everything you tell us you want. That way you will want for nothing. That way you will appreciate nothing. That way you will value nothing.

----- A true tale from garleon the "skinflint" -----

I am not rolling in cash. My wallet is often checked into a clinic for starvation recovery, and I have to do far too much overtime to be kidding about this stuff. My Son wants for nothing. If I could I would give him the world... within reason. If it is the choice between buying a toy car whilst grocery shopping to "keep him quiet", or promising him a game of football at the swingpark after shopping, I know which one he would pick. Why ? Because at the age of 3, my son has already learned that Daddy is not a pushover. He also knows that he can beat the crap out of me in a dirty tackle as well. I put up with the tears at the start, but it has paid off now. Sure he gets a shot on those money-grabbing rides outside the supermarket, but only after he has been a good boy going round. I am not a skinflint, but I want my son to know that I am not trying to BUY his love or palm him off with something that will make him happy for 5mins and then end up in the bin after a day or so.

Yes I have worried that I am being a little harsh on him at times, but to tell you the truth, at times the rewards are there for all to see. At a recent birthday party for one of his friends, my son took along his present and card for his wee pal. Much happiness and joy was beheld by all as (Little Johnny he shall be called to protect the guilty) Little Johnny tore open his presents.... and ran away crying. Yep, at the age of 4 Little Johnny wanted MORE than the presents he got from everyone. Now there must have been about 10 or so kids and their parents at this party, and you WOULDN'T be amazed how many uttered under their breath as to how ungreatfull the little bugger was. He was yearning for something he wanted that was not there, rather than appreciating the other toys he actually had. Suffice to say, he already has a Toy Room full of stuff he never plays with. Yes a flamin TOY ROOM. 4 years old and he has a toy room. My son and about six other kids hardly noticed his crying or even his mother's apologies at the throwing of the toys and the tantrums, because they were pushing jelly up each other's noses.

Me, I was as smug as hell when someone said, " At least your son played with the stuff we bought him for his birthday. ANd he said thanks, AND he drew us a picture in return." Yes my son did do that. He has been taught to appreciate the value and return the sentiment of a gift.

----- So where does it all go wrong then? -----

For what it's worth (about 2p I believe in the current climate), in my opinion, it all goes wrong when parents buy to "shut up or quiet" their kids. God knows there is nothing worse than a screaming kid, but just like a crying baby learns everyone will come running. A skirling toddler learns that being rewarded for tears with a toy, is a wonderful thing. How many children are bought a tv for their room before the age of 5? WHY ? What possible reason does a kiddy need a tv in their room? So that Mummy and Daddy can get some peace and quiet in the livingroom. Or so that they can play their computer or console games on it till all hours in the morning. Great idea .... not. Parents who buy tv's for kid's bedrooms have made a huge mistake. They are telling their kid to be anti social. I know I sound old fashioned again when I say this, but what happened to kids playing outside ? It looks to me like the majority of kids who don't play on their bikes, or in the park etc are the ones with the food "problems" and the huge collection of DVD's and computer games. I think I would rather my son got into a tussle over tripping up some kid in the park, than ended up at fat camp because he got to level 19 on Ghost Recon for the X-Box.

----- So in closing -----

Do I think children are spoiled. Yes and no. Yes in relation to children of many years ago. Yes if their parents want to spoil them as a treat. But no, not if the parent can be bothered doing a bit of sensible parenting in the first place. Don't blame the media, advertising, peers or anyone other than yourself if YOU believe that your kids are getting too much. If they are, it's because you find it too easy to say YES and too hard to take the flack when you say NO. Don't try and BUY their love, or their happiness in the first place. Spend time with them rather than locking them in their rooms with their consoles. Take them out to play with other kids. Buy a football or throw some stones in a puddle. DO SOMETHING WITH THEM.

By all means give your kids a present out of the blue. Buy them something nice every once in a while. If it is a treat then great. Spoil your kids once in a while . The problems start when you feed them toys and sweets and stuff like a mother bird does worms to a chick. If yo treat them occasionally, you will see how greatfull they are. If it becomes a regular occurance they will start to expect more. You don't have to buy your kids love, most of the time they just want your time. The time you send them to their room so that you can have peace and quiet to watch Corrie of Enders cannot be put on a blank video or DVD for playback later, the soaps can. Record them and play with your kids. They really DO grow up fast.

There is a lot more I could say on the matter but my fists are balled with rage, and I have to go.... because I'm off down the park with a frizbee, a kite, a ball and my son. See Ya.

Thank you for reading my ramble.

Summary: Appreciation and gratitude are like respect. They can't be bought.