| Product: |
Where is your summer next holiday going to be? |
| Date: |
25/07/01 (38 review reads) |
| Rating: |
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Advantages: Close, The know English, Cheap
Disadvantages: Expensive hookers
When I was young I thought that all people outside the English speaking world were wacky. Then once I had an opportunity to travel and see many new and exciting places, and meet diverse people I no longer thought everyone else was wacky-I knew everyone else was wacky.
Take Quebec. Grown men wearing Backstreet Boys T-shirts and smoking pipes.
Leeuwarden, Holland, men wearing jackets with the words "Kool Kat" on their backs.
People in Moscow wearing "West Missouri Dragons" hats, there is no 'West Missouri' and St George swung by Missouri and killed off all the dragons eons ago after he cleansed Britain and Russia. There are no sports teams called the dragons.
Everyone in Germany having these little generators on their bicycles to make their headlights work. I don't know it just seemed daft. I can't explain why.
People in Denmark putting mayonaise on their chips, and they would be in a rolled up little paper cone. Haven't they been taught by McDonalds yet?
People in Cyprus trying to play heavey Metal. Hello, Ding Dong!!! George Michael???? Hello, quit trying to play Savatage.
So simply, I have seen enough. I am going to go to Vegas. What made my mind up was I was checking my grandpa's saved websites and he had this really cool website with all these prostitutes and their phone numbers for vegas. There was a really hot girl named Evian that I just have to try. I mean it ain't like I have to pay for it, sometimes it is just worth it to me to deal with a pro without any of that tenderness BS that women come to expect once you stay at their flat more than twice a week. These professional girls don't suffer from some self delusion of what you want to do. Plus Vegas is cool for this type of thing because you don't have to risk getting busted for curbcrawling. That is always such a pain to go in there in front of a lady judge and listen to he
r crap. Like these girls would be cosmonauts or architects if men like me didn't pay them for sex. I get so sick of that guilt trip they push. If the lady judge looked half as good as these girls and would unabashedly do the same things they do I would pay her the same. I had to go to some program for "johns" here in Buffalo for getting busted propostioning an undercover cop last year. What a drag. They try to make you feel all guilty and try to give you a crash coarse on Durkheim at the same time. If I had been a good looking kid I would have turned tricks myself so I do not see what the big deal is.
Anyways with all that out of the way. I am going to stay in downtown Vegas because that way you don't need a car and it is a lot cheaper. Everyone thinks they need to stay in one of these fancy-smanchy high rises that imitates another place. If I wanted to think I was in Paris I would bring my dog and let him crap all over my room and overturn my rubbish bin. If I wanted to imitate a New Yorker I would make sure I was back to my room at 8pm with 50 locks on the door. And that Luxor place is just plain spooky.
I am going to go watch the volcano and proposition women with trite coments about eruptions. I will watch the pirates fight and all that jazz. I won't pay 125 bucks to watch those two sissies with their lions. I am just planning to party like a rock star for a week and play some slots and play keno while I eat. The Fremont street experience is very good, it is loud and fun but you end up with a crick in your neck from watching it. Watch your wallet as you watch the ceiling as it is pick pocket heaven. I will check out those old cars at that free museum joint and I may wander into a convention or two.
If you get one thing out of my opinion pay close attention here. One travel necessity for Las Vegas is a uniform shirt with a name badge on it. You can get them very cheap at any uniform store that sells stuff for nurs
es and waitresses or at most tool stores. Put on a ethnic type name as people are so less likely to try to talk to you if they think you are from San Salvador or Estonia. Then get a cheapie Cb-portable radio. I take my one that the Railroad gave me when I was a brakemen. This get up is a free pass into any concert, convention or event. You just walk around talking to nobody, saying, "Yeah, Mike I going there now, right ,fix the central AC".
Just trust me, I will see a lot more of Vegas this way than anyone else. Now go ahead and give me a fair rating as this is a speakers forum and how can anyone be wrong? ALl you asked of me was what will I be doing on vacation!!!!!
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