How to Get Blood From a Stone? (Banks! Aarrrggghhhh!)

Member Name: Aspen

Product:	Banks! Aarrrggghhhh!
Date:	02/09/01 (86 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Banks are necessary . . . .

Disadvantages: . . . evils.

Nope.

I don’t know how.

But the banks have cracked the secret. Or one, in particular, has.



Firstly, let me make something clear. I am talking here about business banking, about one bank in particular, and about a personal experience which has cost me my business and my home.

So forgive me if a tinge of bitterness creeps into this opinion.



SUPPORT

is something which your bank will give you while your account remains in credit. In fact, while your account remains in credit, your bank will bend over backwards, perform contortions, and lick your a*se if necessary to LEND you money you don't need.

Strange, though, that if (God forbid) the time ever comes when you land in difficulty, and actually need money, the goal posts move rapidly.

Suddenly your bank doesn’t want to know. Doesn’t recognise your name. The Manager is always unavailable, or out to lunch, or on the golf course, when you REALLY need to see him.


SUPPORT

in the Bank’s terms, when you are in difficulties, means taking control of your account away from your local branch; away from the Manager you have known for years, and who understands the ups and downs of your business, and transferring your banking affairs to a special department in some remote Head Office. There you are assigned to an individual whom you have never met, who takes personal control of your finances, and from that point on you are FORBIDDEN to discuss your banking affairs with your local branch manager, or indeed any other member of staff of that bank.

But you never meet this designated individual. You may talk to him on the phone three times in six months (my experience), which is hardly the same as popping into your friendly local branch for a chat with the Manager whenever you feel like it.


SUPPORT

when you have been kicked upstairs like this, consists of a letter a
fter six months, advising that the bank cannot continue to support your level of overdraft, and will therefore convert two thirds of it to a five-year repayment loan, at seven percent over base. Yes, that was not a typo. Seven percent over base.

Why?

Because in the bank’s view, you have not made sufficient progress in reducing your borrowing requirement.

Ermm . . perhaps that’s because you can’t, despite all your hard work and good intentions. And if you can’t keep up with the interest on the overdraft, you don’t have a cat in hell’s chance of keeping up with the repayments on a five year loan at 7 over base.

And they know that.

So the moment they wrote that letter, they knew you were shafted. The bank decided to cut its losses and convert whatever security they had into liquidity.

In my case, my home and all my business assets.



What are you entitled to expect from a bank?

Support?

Understanding?

Compassion?

Co-operation?


All of these things are available when your account is in credit.



If you are in difficulty, none of these apply.

And the question becomes,

What does your bank expect from you?

And the answer is . .

Blood.

And your demise, for their gain.


And when all the sums have been done on paper; all the assets sold; the house sold off at probably less than market value, the bank has still lost out.

On paper.

But that final analysis does not take into account all the interest and charges which the bank have creamed off during the many years of your custom.

Methinks they will always come out on top.


{The foregoing is based on my personal experience with the Royal Bank of Scotland, not banks in general}

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