Puurrrrrfect problem pet (Behaviour Problems in Pets)

Member Name: hitme100

Product:	Behaviour Problems in Pets
Date:	08/02/02 (137 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: They are cute

Disadvantages: They are cute, they smell, they cost money

Many will have clicked on this article thinking I would provide some thoroughly useful tips for looking after a cat.

Well sorry but it should already have become apparent to you fools out there that I am a psychopathic, manic depressive who wants only to rule the world and eat lemons (with mpafp). This op is mainly to dispel the rumour that animals have feelings (plus I got bored so I decided to come write something).

Firstly in no clinical tests has it been proven that cats have feelings. If cats really had feelings wouldn’t there be evidence to prove it?

Secondly, I hate cats.

Ok. That is in my opinion the only two reasons anyone would ever need to prove that cats have no feelings. Unfortunately this hasn’t satisfied my boredom so I’m going to have to tell you why you should under no circumstances get a cat.


Cats Smell

Cats have around them a pong that can only be described as a mixture between rotten fish heads, horse manure and stale sweat pants. To say the least this is unpleasant. And unfortunately it lingers. You can’t get rid of the smell because it becomes ingrained in the furniture and in your clothes.

Cats Are Cute

Most people would list this as a benefit for owning a cat but I can honestly say it really p***** me off. As I hate cats I would ideally be able to drop kick them into the swimming pool in my neighbour’s garden. However contrary to popular belief I have a conscience and so them being cute stops me from doing this. I haven’t a problem with drop kicking slugs or rats and occasionally cockroaches but I can’t kick cats.

They Really Annoy Me

They Cost Money

When my sisters first got their cats they were free. This was good because it could be justified to me that they weren’t costing anything. But then we had to take them to the vet….. every three weeks. First they got sick then one of them had
to be neutered. Then the other one had to be neutered after it emerged that it was a boy not a girl. Then one of them ate a bit of chocolate and got sick from that. We’ve only had them for three months and we’ve paid more for them than we’ve spent on my doctor’s bills since I was born!?!


I can’t think of any more reasons not to have cats. If you were wondering I don’t have any cats but my sisters do have two of them so I’m writing from semi-personal experience.

Now for the bit to satisfy all the people who want to know all the crappy details.

You have to feed cats everyday.
You can buy cats, cat food and cat toys from the shop in the high street that smells like the smell I described above.(Generally called a pet shop).
Cats hate dogs so not a good idea if you own a dog.
Cats cannot be dried off in a microwave or conventional oven.

This is in the behavioural problems with cats section because I have a problem with the way cats behave.

Summary: