The Real Victim of the Andrex Puppy (Best / Worst TV Adverts)

Member Name: marandina

Product:	Best / Worst TV Adverts
Date:	01/03/05 (2162 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Ads can be cool, It's Tuesday, I'm at home

Disadvantages: Ads can be uncool, It's Tuesday, It's cold

The world is full of advertisements isn’t it? I mean, every where you go there will be a subtle product placement. It could be a billboard with a woman’s pearly whites staring back at you or even one of those clever rotating fence type things you get at footie matches. Saying that, if you are in the middle of the Sahara Desert then maybe you can escape the ads although don’t be too surprised if you encounter an oasis sponsored by “Clear Desert Water” or something similar (one lone man on a camel on a advertising hoarding). Yes, the world is run by the ad men whose sole purpose it is to fill those gaps in between programmes where we can’t be bothered to get up but rather sit there staring at the box like someone has just injected us with Novocain (for the soul).

So what of these overpaid genii whom light up our lives and drive us to new levels of desire? We all have our per-conceptions as to what these geezers may look like. My money would be on that producer/director type who dominates the Orange Wednesday movie offers. You know, the ones where somebody pitches an idea and the bizarre Orange movie panel attempt to shout him or her down or try to change the idea. Actually, that bloke looks a lot like Alastair McGowan of impressionist fame who now stars in his own ad about identity theft for Capital One. How can you miss the ominous “What’s in your wallet?” at the end as Alastair appears to disappear off to burglarise someone’s house?

OK, let’s face it, there are some terrible ads around. The one with Bev, Kev, Kev and Bev is just downright annoying but the play on names really doesn’t help as Bev and Kev’s original car gives up the ghost at the lights. It’s that condescending pitch of Bev and Kev’s that makes you hope that the newly fangled Bev and Kev who drive off in their newly acquired motor car drive straight into a lamppost…probably because Kev was shallow enough to be on his mobile phone whilst driving along without a hands free kit. Meanwhile, Bev failed to notice the pending danger because she was powdering her face as she looked forward to their forthcoming hedonistic party that will heavily feature car keys in an ash tray. Eek…my imagination’s running away with me now.

Of course, advertisers look for their audience to either love or hate their ads. It’s recall and recognition that’s the name of the game and as Chris Evans is fond of saying “There’s no such thing as bad publicity”. Thinking about it, he probably stole that from Max Clifford (I haven’t got any cash before Mr Evan’s lawyers think of suing me….he he…good job my identity is hidden). Linda Barker would be a case in question. Having made her name in an obscure jungle in Queensland, Australia, she then throws that million pound image away by starring in some of the most annoying ads ever for Currys. Do the audience really care about an irritating jingle that says Currys is always cutting prices? Oh..and if you didn’t get the point (stoopid), LB turns up with a big pair of scissors the size of New York just to emphasise the point. Yep, not good but remembered see?

Some ads are so bad they are good and have spawned a whole new genre on TV. In fact, if it wasn’t for humorous adverts, Chris Tarrant wouldn’t have been able to put his kids through private school. That does include ads from all around the world, mind (not forgetting that oasis in the desert). Personally, I like the car insurance ads like Admiral or Elephant.co.uk. Both are brief, both look cheap and both have some bozo dressed up like a student on Children in Need day. In the Admiral ads it’s some pillock dressed as an admiral with a parrot on his shoulder whilst the Elephant ad has someone dressed up as an elephant twirling a walking stick. Still, it’s all about recall innit? The beauty of ads like these as that they don’t feature anyone too famous (i.e. an actor one meal away from the dole queue) and they don’t really have any props either. For all we know they could be shot in someone’s front room and why not? Thanks to Barry Norman for that particular summation but it’s a fascinating world that draws us in and yet so many of us claim that ads don’t affect us in any way. Just tell that to the poor mums and dads who spend a fortune on the latest brand name in trainers for young little Willy who simply must have that latest pair of Reeboks.

I suppose if you were gonna plump for your all time favourite ads then for me it would the ones you get before a movie in the cinema. They’re always the same aren’t they? There’s the local curry house with the flock wallpaper and the Bangra music accompanying the ad, some local clothes shop that still appears to feature mainly 60’s gear and no end of ads for spirits featuring lots of trendy people enjoying themselves with a tumbler in their hand. Is it me or is the bloke that does the voiceover on these ads the same person on all of them is or is there an advertising voice-over cloning factory that started out in the US but moved to *Kurdistan to avoid the protesters?

Oh well, there you have it, a mildly irreverent look at the world of ads. I’m sure there’s many more I could mention like the poor bloke on the toilet who resorts to degrading means to sort his bum out after the wee puppy runs off with the toilet roll or even the clown in the MacDonald’s ads who was forced to re-join Billy Smarts after falling out of favour after the screening of “Super Size Me”. It’s a bizarre world you know.

Thanks for reading.

Marandina

*Kurdistan is a very nice place, by the way.....and...erm.....students are quite nice too.

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