INVADE NOW! (Bombs over Baghdad)

Member Name: TheBrigadier

Product:	Bombs over Baghdad
Date:	18/08/01 (47 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Teach Saddam a few things.

Disadvantages: Our boys in the desert missing the cricket.

Saddam Hussein – what a cad! What an absolute rotter of the first order! Of course we should keeping bombing him! Bomb away, chaps, that’s what I say!

You see violence is the only language a bad egg like Saddam understands. Well, that and Arabic, possibly. But we’ll never get through to the chap being nice and chummy and sharing cucumber sandwiches. Surely it is obvious that the best way to make a fellow see your point of view is not by compromise and negotiation but by trying to kill him. It was the same with old Adolf. Chamberlain tried to get on with him, but the silly kraut wouldn’t listen so we had to thrash the rotter. If people won’t play with a straight bat they’ll get no sympathy from me. With Saddam it’s just a sensible pre-emptive measure. You see, the best way to avoid being drawn into a long and bloody war is to start it yourself first.

The worst thing about that turncoat Saddam is that he used to be on our side. I mean what is the point of propping some fellow up, selling him arms, and ignoring his human rights abuses if he’s going to stop playing the game? Bloody turncoat! And what about the oil? The running cost of my Rolls has gone through the roof over the past few years, and the Bentley hardly ever leaves the garage. We have absolutely no territorial or sovereign right to those oil reserves, but let’s be clear that they are, in essence, ours. That’s why we need some puppet running Iraq and looking after British interests, not some silly sod who probably wouldn’t know an lbw decision if it kicked him in the goolies.

People talk about the civilian casualties of the bombing, and my views do take them fully into account, even though I never think about them. It’s always a shame about civvies dying, particularly when Saddam obviously doesn’t give a fig about them any more than we do. And yes, it is a bit tricky encouraging an uprising by the Iraqi
people by dropping bombs on them. But what the lefties don’t seem to understand is that sometimes the best way to achieve peace is by a long period of sustained and meaningless violence.

In fact I really don’t think bombing is going far enough, What we really need to do instigate a full-scale invasion. Then we could set up a few cricket clubs in Baghdad and teach them about fair play. Just as long as they don’t want to play for Surrey.

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