You'll get what ya given .... or go hungry! (Breakfasts)

Member Name: idodoyou

Product:	Breakfasts
Date:	29/11/01 (90 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: - )

Disadvantages: - (

Now whether or not, when, and if, you get invited to idodoyou's for the most important meal of the day ~ Brekkie ~ and what you get depends on whether or not dieting is being done, the day of the week, the time of rising, or who you are? And, I guess, whether you get invited in the first place?

Of course if you are, invited that is, it would be wise to remember that the idodoyou establishment is not a hotel, you will get what you're given ........ Or go hungry.

Oh, I am sooo much better at being the guest!!

I must admit, I'm not really a Brekkie kinda gal. I'm either running around like a turkey in Bernard Matthew?s garden come December cos I'm late or I'm waking up around 1 ~ 2 in the afternoon and so my first meal of the day is usually afternoon tea!! However, occasionally, breakfast is done.

If I'm on a diet, an occurrence that should happen more often than it actually does, I'm afraid the options are, well basically ... pap! I mean, tell me, when was the last time diet foody stuff was nice hey? And don't be doing all that commenting stuff about how you like diet food ~ I know ya lying!
So, if I'm on the bloody diet thing, there is no way that my guests are going to be having nice stuff. No way Pedro!

The menu will be as follows ~

Grapefruit ~ A yellow one. Of course, I've got the pink one. Don't ask me why, but I'm guessing that the brother of the man who lives on 'cloud one sock', a Mr 'always one bloody yellow one creeps in when all we want is pink', is beside whoever gets and chucks the grapefruits in the trolley. There is always, always one of the buggers. Why?
Oh you can have a sprinkling of sugar too if you want? About 4 grains should do it?
Cereal ~ This will come in the form of Measly [Muesli] All Crap [All Bran] or Special K. Actually, no, scrap the Special K, I kinda like that, so you ain't having any.
Milk wi
ll be in the form of the 'watered down white stuff pretending to be milk'.
To drink you can either have a coffee, instant, a teabag in a cup, I ain't dirtying the pot up for one, or a cup of hot water with a lemon slice in it, to detox.

Now, depending on which category of friend you fall into depends on what nosh you are welcomed with of a morning. And of course, what season we are in of the morning that you will be noshing in?
If it is one of the colder months and you are one of my more classier friends, a touch more sedate and ladylike [yes, I can be classy, sedate and ladylike at times y'know?] a mixture of tantalising titbits will be laid out in the dining room for you to feast on. Eggs Benedict and Devilled Kidneys, along with a full English Breakfast will be left warming on the grill plate, with at least 3 different teas and coffees, and an array of freshly squeezed juices.

Say I am entertaining in the warmer months, well, we will be dining in the Conservatory or on the patio, the hot stuff is outta the window and in with an exotic fruit cocktail, with fresh yoghurt and honey. Deluxe Muesli [nuts, nuts, nuts and more nuts. None of those bloody oats either ~ neither my guest or I are horses y'know?]
Of course, the full range of teas,[Earl Grey, Typhoo, Tescos ValueLine] coffees [white, black, ground, Brazilian] and freshly squeezed juices [Orange, Grapefruit, Cranberry] will be on offer whatever the month!
The last two breakfast menus apply to guests I'm trying to impress also ;)

Now, if you ain't one of my posher friends, you've seen me throw up, mess up, and have generally been around forever, well, you can help yourselves. My god, you know my kitchen as well as I do. In fact, while you're at it, make me something too can yer?

So, I wake up, and it's Saturday morning. I know it's still morning cos after 5 minutes my eyes have just started to focus and the alarm cl
ock tells me it 11.23. Or is that 23.11, and I'm upside down again? Nah, it's light out side. It's morning. Have to hurry and actually get up, washed and dressed before 12 though, I want to make at least one morning this month!
Any breakfast guests are cordially invited to participate in the all day breakfast in Tesco's restaurant. For the paltry sum that they are asking I wouldn't even crack an egg let alone fry one and then have to clean up all the grease and stuff later. They know me, they'll be surprised to see me this early, but if I flirt the 16-year-old lad in charge of the bacon, he will stick another rasher on free. Of course, it'll mean telling the old dragon on the till that her hair [wig] looks lovely [dragged through hedge backwards] and that her perfume [what perfume?] smells great and makes her 20 years younger [smells as if she's been dead 20 weeks] if I'm to get my free bit of bacon free?? I can do it. I can be charming when I want. Right, hands up who wants sauce? Well, make sure you grab another handful while you're there? They are real handy for when I run out at home!!

So say that we have a particularly late night [well, early morning] and we roll in at about 6ish [yes, it can be done in Norwich y'know?] Before retiring you can eat now, or later? S'up to you? If you eat now, it'll have to be quick, easy, and something you can take up to bed with you. I'm 'cream crackered', you're hungry, and I'll be buggered if I'm gonna stand and cook you something and not even eat the thing!
Hurry up, c'mon, whadda want? Oh, you don't feel hungry any more ..... that's good!
Now, get to bed, and I'll see you this afternoon.
The downstairs clock will have to go. Okay, so it's a 147 years old, but it's a bloody noisy 147 year old. It has just gonged 3 times and woken me up on the third. I wasn't ready to wake up yet [great dream ~ me
, Mel Gibson, and fresh cream ~ get the picture?] But anyway, I'm awake, I'd better get up and play the genial host. Of course, at 3 in the afternoon the traditional breakfast fare is not appropriate, whether you are posh or not, so we will be sampling one of my fave snacks.
Poached Eggs on Toast. Quick, easy and with the minimal of washing up. Or rather, the minimal of dishwasher loading to be done ;) We've got one of those them there poacher things, so much easier. Before hand I just used to have incredibly runny and highly unappetising scrambled eggs ~ Well, how was I to know that in order to keep the eggs round and tidy, you stir the water BEFORE you put the eggs in!!
Anyway, buy one of those poacher things, they're great.

Right then, we've done the dieting guests, we've done the posh guests, the not so posh [damn right ble*din' common if you ask me?] guests, the late risers and the ones that happen to stay on a Friday evening.
I guess I should tell you about Sunday morning brekkies then shouldn't I? My Sunday morning brekkies.
Well, for most, Sundays are the traditional fry up mornings aren't they? Or the 'taking things easy' mornings. Y'know, spending time with a coffee and the papers, fresh juice and a croissant. Not for me.
Oh no. My grub on a Sunday morning is most definitely not slow and leisurely. It's fast. It's prepared in moments. It's ready to eat in less. And its left over from the night before!!!
I love cold take out.
Cold Chinese [Special Fried Rice and Sweet n Sour Chicken, and soggy Prawn Crackers ~ um um ummmmm] Cold Pizza [Mighty Meaty with extra Chilli [um um ummmmm] Cold chips [with Mayo um um ummmmm]. Mostly anything cold left over from the night before.
I draw the line at curry though. Anything Indian [food wise] gets bunged if it ain't eaten. I just can not face leftover curry ~ bluergghhh!

If I had a choice of which breakfas
t menu I could have all the time ~ I would wish for the day of rest everyday. In fact, I've even been known to order double, so I can have left overs on the Monday morning as well!!!
Needless to say, I try to keep all over night guests to a minimum on a Saturday evening. I ain't sharing. I love my Sunday mornings, well, Sunday afternoons!!

Anyhoo, as I was saying, I'm sooo much better as a guest ........ But I guess, if you wanna stay, you can, just make sure it's not a Saturday though, right?

[The 5*s are for Sunday morning Brekkies!!]

Summary: