Oi Bully Boy! Leave it Out. (Bullying in Schools)

Member Name: pearlydewdrop

Product:	Bullying in Schools
Date:	28/05/08 (145 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: None

Disadvantages: Emotional devastation, fear, bystander apathy

Here are some of my thoughts and views on bullying; I have some experience of this, as have most individuals at some time in their life. Unfortunately it is endemic in our schools, the workplace, and even in the home as domestic violence/spousal abuse (because both women and men are the culprits).

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Bullying is the culmination of jealousy and ultimately the low self-esteem issues of the bully. Anyone who feels compelled to demean or intimidate another person is expressing a need to control the emotions and freedoms of others. I believe that bullies have usually been on the receiving end of cruel taunts or even physical abuse, either at home or in school, and that by becoming a bully they are perpetuating a cycle of abuse and aggression. The frustration and humiliation that bullying generates in the victim often requires an outlet for expression, and the weaker souls amongst us often resort to bullying others to diffuse this victimisation. Whilst I in no way condone bullying, I am aware that bullies are weak individuals who are preying on targets that they feel arent equipped to deal with the abuse and torment that they dish out. Most level-headed, moral people will feel awful at demeaning someone else, but bullies-i think, often get some kind of therapeutic 'kick' out of being the one in charge for a change.


Of course, not every bully has been a victim. Life is full of people out there who derive satisfaction, and more disturbingly, pleasure, from hurting others. What kind of individual boosts their ego by belittling others? Some kind of inadequate, megalomanic wannabe? It is a sort of power struggle in action, really, the bully-victim relationship. The bully asserting authority, not only over the immediate victim, but a pathetic peer group of tormentors, who fear being the target should they not join in the abuse. These people facillitate the bully, and give them the extra impetus to target vulnerable individuals- they almost act as a smokescreen of support, shielding the bully from reprisal from taechers, parents, and the victim. The bully knows that there are enough 'sheep' out there, who willingly or reluctantly, want to bask in their 'glory' and tag along. Some of this inability to support the victim may be down to what psychologists call 'bystander apathy'- no-one wants to put the first foot forward in combatting the abuse, no-one wants to be the next target, and all the audience members of bullying expect someone else to make a stand. What a cop-out! And yet, we can all understand that feeling of not wishing to be the next one the 'menace' wishes to torment, and so we tut silently to ourselves and think "Poor devil, I really feel for them".


We all recall that poor unfortunate kid at school who had nothing going for them, that was the ideal bullies bait. The 'uninventive' bully will always find the 'weak link' and target them straight away. This victim is usually from an inpoverished background, has poor hygeine standards (through no fault of their own), are often the victims of neglect at home, and aren't pretty enough to join the crowd. Other victims may be 'too good' for the bullies to compete with- too pretty, too clever, too 'goody two-shoes'. The words 'survival of the fittest' come to mind, and the school playground begins to look a bit like a microcosm of evolution in action.


I do believe that a child who is continually belittled will have a very poor self image, and will chose to either target others to deflect the negativity from themselves, or else turn the negative thought in on themselves in a self destructive way. Some victims of bullying, who dont have a good support network of friends and family resort to self harm....drinking, promiscuity, cutting themselves etc. When I was bullied aged 13, I was strong enough in my own self-belief to say "No, I am a good person, Im not going to change to fit in with you". I have always been able to preserve my integrity and have usually found like minded, moral individuals who dont want to follow the crowd for a meaningless 'quiet life'. Some victims of bullying come out of the experience fighting; they make a success of their lives in spite of the daily verbal and physical torture they endure. These kids need to be congratulated for their resilience and strength of character, and they need to be publicly recognised as the real 'heros' of youth. These youngsters should be presented as the 'cool' ones that everyone should aspire to, and if they so choose, they should be able to counsel their peers who are less able to deal with bullying. Its time society projected a positive image of the victim of bullying who survives the hard times to become a success. Bullys should be given help to overcome their demons, that way the root cause will be dealt with.


If anyone is having problems with bullying, I would recommend speaking to a responsible, caring adult (parent, friend, teacher). This person should be trustworthy, and able to listen to the victims problems ina non-judgemental way. If this isnt possible, then 'Childline', the 'NSPCC', and the 'Samaritans' may all be helpful means of expression. Stay strong, and sure in the knowledge that bullies are the weak ones, the victim is just a pawn in a sad power struggle.

Summary: Bullying is sick, get a life and stop harrassing others