From Dr Who and Killer Christmas Trees to a Billabong Adventure: It's the Great British Stay In. (Christmas TV)

Member Name: marandina

Product:	Christmas TV
Date:	27/12/05 (479 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: We lurve our Christmas TV

Disadvantages: It'll rot yer brain y'know?

If there’s one thing guaranteed for people to moan about at Christmas it’s the TV schedule. I often think it’s just an apt reflection of our own seasonal pessimism that we manage to bemoan the apparent lack of choice, proliference of repeats and general apathy amongst television producers. This all means that we are resigned to playing with the kids’ latest Playstation games or join in with aunt Gerty as she falls asleep on the sofa after a turkey overload. Logically, this shouldn’t be so. What with Freeview, Sky, a multitude of cable channels and the Beeb and ITV engaging in their annual ratings warfare then you’d think we are spoiled for choice these days and the reality is, we are. Of course, for those desperate to escape the calling of the wee box that usually sits in the corner trying to dominate our lives with subliminal messages from advertisers then there are viable alternatives. You could try the overlong Peter Jackson "King Kong" movie or the latest incarnation of Narnia on the big screen – both are H-U-G-E productions with the latter shading it for me with just a little more charm and a little less bum-numbing intensity to its running time (although the 1920’s recreation of Manhattan is stunning in KK).

The big build up in our household this year was for the Dr Who Christmas Special. Thrown together by Russell T Davies after the phenomenal success of series 1, the Christmas Day show sat neatly in the evening schedule at 7pm, long after the sprouts has settled and the Christmas pud had started to digest. Complete with a sinister, Santa brass band, a killer Christmas Tree and the latest Dr Who doing a good impression of Arthur Dent from Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (wearing his jimjams throughout), the new Doctor, David Tennant, had to battle the Sycorax to stave off a Christmas Day invasion. There’s no doubting that Dr Who has come a long way since the dreadful Sylvester McCoy almost killed off the notional alien from Galafrey. Mega spaceships, BBC News broadcasts and a surrogate family from a London council estate all bring the new Doctor bang up to date with modern times and yet my 10-year-old lad was left feeling a little disappointed. In the end it was all a bit contrived and yet the interactive show that immediately followed on BBCi (Attack of the Graske) was much more fun as me ladio got a chance to fly the Tardis, find the rogue alien, pick some locks and generally play a poor man’s X-Box or what have you. Maybe there’s a message in there somewhere.

Needless to say, the omnipresent Ant and Dec popped up with a Christmas Takeaway show. With the usual mix of game show, audience mocking and tomfoolery (Carol Thatcher reduced to bucking a play bronco?), Ant and Dec still hit that populist nerve that make an hour with them seem as familiar as the Queen’s Speech (and how sombre was that this year?). I particularly liked the bloke who was pulled up on stage to show what a miserable git he’d been as his daughters had to guess his reaction to being asked to buy charity Chrimbo cards from a Santa, asked to fill in for a part in a Nativity play and give some Carol singers a donation. He met all 3 situations like most of us would i.e. with indifferent disdain. I mean, who would really stop during a Christmas shop in a mall and agree to fill in for a play? Erm....nobody is the answer although he did take Scroogeness to very competent heights.

For those of us who love their movies then Christmas time is always a Pandora’s Box of delight. With the billionth screening of “Wizard of Oz”, I’ve found myself guilty of short attention span and a penchant for surfing that would grace the Billabong Odyssey. Yep, I’ve sat through snatches of “Gremlins” (don’tcha just love the scene in the cinema where all the Gremlins are watching “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs"?), “Independence Day”, “Shrek2” and “Minority Report” to name but a few without ever managing to finish any of ‘em. However, this is where the “Guest Syndrome” kicks in as it proves impossible to keep everyone happy with your choice of programme. Holey moley, I’ve even sat through snatches of Eastenders, Coronation Street and Emmerdale although I did bail out before any permanent damage was done and left my visiting ma-in-law to catch up with all the latest soap opera shenanigans as I found something more interesting to do like play with the tortoise or feed the guinea pigs.

For those who feel overwhelmed by the whole thing then I strongly recommend finding a quieter moment to yourself. I managed this t’other day as the family disappeared to visit my sis-in-law to marvel at her Christmas lights in the shape of a reindeer in her front garden. Finding a suitable excuse, I stayed on my own, ignored the TV schedule and watched the latest George A Romero zombie flick on DVD. “Land of the Dead” was about as far removed from Christmas as you can get and proved a 90 minute oasis in a desert of Yuletide excess.

Well, it’s not all over yet. Officially, the 12 days of Christmas finish on January 5th and there’s plenty of TV to come still. The sporting schedules looked packed for us Alpha males (or Alpha females if you's like yer sports) with Sky doing us proud whilst cricket aficionados can follow the Australia v South Africa encounter from Down Under. As ever, the sporting calendar is also guaranteed to put a strain on the seasonal goodwill in households unless you can sneak upstairs like me and watch it on Sky multiroom in the bedroom (he he). Boxing Day was enough to put many relationships to the test with wall-to-wall live footie on from midday through until after 7pm. Charlton v Arsenal, Liverpool v Newcastle and the mighty Aston Villa (4) v Everton (0) meant that if you were looking for an excuse to end your marriage/partnership then here it was. Still....I only watched...erm...3 of 'em although it was just fits and starts of the Liverpool/Newcastle game as a wooden doll's house and its construction drew me away for a while.

When you weigh up all the choice then there isn’t really that much to complain about is there? Unless it’s all just the product of a stressful time of year where it’s easy to aim that bile at an inanimate box of electronics in the corner. I know what my money’s on.

Thanks for reading and enjoy the rest of your holidays.

Mara.

Interesting festive article to read if you get bored: http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/eng_prem/ 4552650.stm

Summary: Christmas telly 2005 stylee