Have we been visited by aliens ? (Conspiracy Theories)

Member Name: thegarleon

Product:	Conspiracy Theories
Date:	12/08/06 (667 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: They may come back and be like ET

Disadvantages: They may come back and be like David Ike

Following a recent pub debate on the subject of aliens, I would now like to share with you the combined wisdom of.....

Thegarleon
Several large jack Daniels (lemonade and no ice thank you)
Years of reading books by Timothy Good
and the fact that The Carpenter's song "Calling Occupants of interplanetary craft" was playing on the jukebox !

What more can I say, alcohol, music and the ability to debate pure nonsense in a pub setting produced the following theory. Enjoy and debate.

----- Here's one way to look at it -----

Ok picture this, take a small island somewhere remote and drop off some children of pre-school age (please note this is only theoretical and not a suggestion, I would not be that cruel. But stick with me.). These children would have a basic grasp of language and social skills. They may be able to survive to adulthood if you place "things" around the island for them. By that I mean drop by in the night by helicopter and leave food in places they can discover it. Basic tools that they can adapt and possibly even some picture books. Over the next 20 or so years keep poping by secretly and leave them presents of more technology. One way or another the islanders would have evolved a social structure and may even have become suspicous of your presence and presents.

What would they do? Would they worship you as a god ? Hunt you down by setting traps ? Or just ignore and accept you? Next you could infiltrate them by kidnapping an islander in the night and let them know what has been going on all along. This islander would be returned on condition that you would make them Chief of the island by providing them with the means of becoming more powerful than anyone else on the island. You would set them up with whatever they neede as long as they kept your presence a mystery and actively encouraged open mocking of "the visitors".

See where I'm going with any of this?

Next you could introduce non indiginous animals to see how the islanders react to the animals. Would they hunt them or tame them? Eat them or worship them? Their reaction to the animals and if they hunted them in an organised fashion would let you know how advanced their social structure had become.

Finally you could introduce diseases that are not indiginous. The cold, flu or even smallpox. Would they be able to erradicate these?

Basically you could set up a little experimental island as a microcosm of the earth!

----- How did we become so advanced so quickly then stop ?-----

To evolve and adapt to one's surroundings is natural according to Darwin. two islands have the same birds. One island has berries and the other nuts in abundance (no not like the guy writing this review, but NUTS as in the unsalted variety), the birds evolve beaks to deal with the food on their island......so he says. But if man evolved from the ape, then why do we still have apes? Why have all apes not evolved into men? The crocodile family (not Mr and Mrs crock, but their species in general ) aparently reched their level of adaptation and evolution a few million years ago, so why did they not evolve into intelligent life forms? They came out of the water like our far distand cousins did. They produce offsping in far greater numbers than us homosapiens. This is where the Old Goalie of David Purple Ike comes into play with his lizard people. Are we as homosapiens just the slaves of the lizards who hide themselves?

----- Why has technology stopped ?-----

Have we developed our new technology ourselves or have we just been given it? We are led to believe that there have been great leaps and bounds in technology. Fire, the wheel, the internal combustion engine etc. But since the industrial revolution and the engine, how far have we really developed in the last few generations? We have developed the microchip. This has enabled us to make our lives easier by performing calculations at rapid rates. So should we not have advanced much further than we have done by now? Since the microchip and computer were developed, all we appear to have done is make our machines faster and smaller. With the exception of the internes, there is no common interest in linking all the computers in the world together to advance mankind. Are we just too greedy to do so? Or is someone else at work? Why have we not seriously looked into time travel, or matter transportation. Sublight travel and superconductors are technology that appears to be in our grasp, but then again, we have been told that the flying car is just around the corner for years!!! Have we been getting drip fed the technology over the last few thousand years, and it has now stopped, because we are "nearly there"?

----- The Goober theory-----

Goober is the name given to someone of less than proper breeding and intellect. I am neither racist nor consider myself of advanced intellect so I shall use the name "thegarleon" in my next example of the Goober theory. A space ship lands in the middle of the night in thegarleon's back yard. "Gee that aint right, there's space aliens and they have come here to my trailer park." Get the idea? Why is it that ET and his mates, who can travel at speeds beyond our comprehension, from places we cannot imagine, past black holes and the services on the M6, yet they still crash into power lines and manage to meet Goober when they land? Or are we just supposed to believe that the aliens are more stupid than we think, so WE can feel superior to them.


----- Finally, who do you trust and rely on ? -----

I am a father. My son looks to me for protection. I in turn look to the police in times of danger. For back-up, the police can call in an armed response or even the military. The military are controlled by our government, who in turn are part of the allied forces of the United Nations. Still with me? If the people we look to for protection are shown to be weak, then the fear of danger is exposed. As long as a child can say "my daddy will hit your daddy if you hit me", everything is alright, isn't it? what if you find that your daddy isn't able to defend you? What if you find out that the police are not able to stop the localk threat? If the Army has no way of overcomming the weapons the Aliens have? If the Governments and UN cannot reason with them? Who do you trust then, who do you rely on? Do you question it? Or just carry on going to the supermarket and deny it is going on?


----- How will it end?-----

In the case of the pub debate, we all just laughed it off. Another round of drinks was got in, and we recapped on the following.....

We are controlled by the Lizardmen and only A Goalie can protect us.

We are capable of time travel and interstellar flight, but are not allowed to use it because the aliens wont let us because we still have wars.

Diseases like smallpox, the plague and aids have been introduced by the aliens to see how we cope with them.

The world leader are either in on it because they have been kidnapped and brought back in the night, or are THEM.



For all of us it ended in a hangover on the Saturday morning. Could alka seltzer therefore prevent the aliens from winning?

Hope you enjoyed that little ramble and it gave you cause for a pub debate of your own.

"Klatu Barada Nikto"

gar

Summary: Alka seltzer WILL stop the space aliens, either that or a power line.