The GSC (Global Schwarzenegger Conspiracy) (Conspiracy Theories)

Member Name: sngroover

Product:	Conspiracy Theories
Date:	04/09/02 (297 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Everyone goes

Disadvantages: But after being brainwashed!

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, people of this earth, children of all ages, young and old alike, I have news of a conspiracy which has been secretly brewing and festering throughout the ENTIRE GLOBE! The conspiracy I talk of starts with the man himself, the Austrian Oak: Arnold Schwarzenegger. In order to set up the explanation of the conspiracy, I must first delve into Arnie's past, to make sure we are all on the same level.

When Arnold Schwarzenegger first came to America, he was a bodybuilder hoping to earn a living. Within a matter of years he had achieved success and fame beyond even his wildest dreams. He began with Hercules in New York, a little seen film nowadays but it was all he needed to springboard on to bigger and better things. At first, he was an out and out action hero. Beating people up, blowing things up, you know the standard fare. Then came the advent of the one-liner. Many people claim this was simply pilfered from James Bond films, yet I believe 'I'll be back' is infinitely preferable to some way to order a drink. As Arnie's career progressed towards bigger and better things, he starred in The Terminator and its sequel, really putting him in the limelight. It was after this that the comedies began. Twins, Junior even, dare I say it, Jingle All The Way. This is the point at which the conspiracy begins to show.....

It was really once films such as Junior were released that people began mocking Arnold. It had always been accepted that he was a general action hero, which was a very clever move on the part of himself and the work he chose to do. When his career started to lag in the nineties, Arnie switched to comedic roles, as I have mentioned above. The onslaught of abuse he sufferred was mind-boggling, however none was to his face, just a matter of jokes amongst friend and such. At this point, Arnold was a laughing stock, and to a certain extent, he probably still is.


All this may sound incredibly unlikely to be some sort of conspiracy, i'll admit, but I haven't got to that part yet. Why would anyone want to mocked? Why would they set out to achieve this? I have the answers, and they show a man of great intellect and judgment.

You see, Arnold has now harnessed this mockery, and it is a force to be reckoned with, much like Arnie in one of his films. A vast proportion of the world know who he is, and an awful lot of them think the way I have described above. Basically, Arnold Schwarzenegger has succeeded in brainwashing millions, possibly billions of the inhabitants of this earth into mocking him. By critics and Humans alike, Arnies films are judged as shoddy. This doesn't matter one little bit, however, as he still pulls in more viewers than most other film stars. It is not uncommon to hear such phrases as "Let's go and see the new Arnie film, just to laugh at him" and "Schwarzenegger's in it? It must be a hoot".

Arnold Schwarzenegger has the whole world under his thumb. Any film he makes will draw viewers. If its as a hero, its plain Arnie, reliable and great. If its something different, that will again be the main selling point of the film, e.g. Arnie goes into space, Arnie does a period drama etc. No matter what he does, almost everyone will want to see it.

It is for these reasons that I say: "Arnold Schwarzenegger, you are a genius."

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