The conspiracy is out there! (and the truth about penguins) (Conspiracy Theories)

Member Name: alocin

Product:	Conspiracy Theories
Date:	19/03/03 (82 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Spead the penguin truth!, Find my X-Files disc!

Disadvantages: Everyone thinks i'm crazy

I am a child of the X-Files - they have taught me all I need to know about the world; trust no one, the truth is out there, liver eating monsters can get into your house via the toilet and of course there is always a conspiracy.

In fact the X-Files are related to one of the many conspiracies that plague my life. The X-Files computer game - not the best game ever but I liked to play it occasionally. It was on 7 discs in a cardboard sleeve next to the rest of my games. No one would have had cause to touch them except me. One fateful day I reach for the discs and - disc 1 is gone! Disc 1 is needed to load the game and without it the others are useless! Following the X-Files doctrine I can only assume that there is a conspiracy afoot to prevent people playing the game, which must hold some secret to unlock the alien - US government collaboration. What's that you say - couldn't I have just misplaced it? So I see they've got to you too, just like everyone I tell!

Another conspiracy, which I think particularly important to tell the world about, affects not only me - it is the truth behind penguins. Now I first received word about this horrific plot from The A-Z of Conspiracy Theories, and was so shocked that I feel I must include it here. Think about it - an example of a bird is an eagle. An example of a fish is a goldfish. Birds fly and fish can't survive out of water. Penguins fit into neither category! It turns out that the makers of Penguin chocolate bars invented a mythical creature that was half fish, half bird to brand their product as. Before they knew what was happening, people accepted that penguins were real! Then began the great conspiracy to keep the invention of the penguin a secret. Isn't it strange that penguins live so far away where no one is likely to ever see one in the wild? The company even went so far as to fake encyclopaedia entries for penguins in old books! If you have ever seen a penguin close up don't b
e fooled - my theory is that they disguise otters in suits and train them to walk on their hind legs.

There are many more minor conspiracies than this such as the JFK assassination, UFOs and Roswell, which have gained more attention. But don't be fooled. The truth about penguins could bring the chocolate biscuit industry down! Spread the word!

P.S. If anyone finds an X-Files PC game disc 1 lying around in a top-secret government building, its mine.

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