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Do You Judge on First Appearance?

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And if you do, is it really wrong? Are first impressions a valuable tool for forming an impression about someone, or an unfair and prejudiced judgement?

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      03.02.2010 11:15
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      Can be good or bad depending on the situation

      "*"*"*"*" Introduction "*"*"*"*"

      I found this topic while browsing through the discussion area and I thought it would be interesting to write about.

      "*"*"*"*" Sometimes It Is Good To Be Cautious But Then.. "*"*"*"*"

      When we first meet someone, we rarely know anything about them. I say "rarely" because we sometimes meet people through others. In that sense you can already know a lot about someone before meeting them. But, that is not always a reliable source and people do not always tell you the truth. Even if you think you know someone. You can know them years and still never really do. That is something my Mum has always said to me and I believe it to be true. So, with strangers it makes perfect sense that we use our first impressions, (intuition.) To help us decide what we think about them. I think that we should acknowledge our intuition and by all means listen to it. But, I also think that sometimes what our first impressions tell us about someone can be misleading. Sometimes if we judge by first impressions, we can lose out on speaking to or meeting some wonderful people. I have met someone before and just based on my first impression of them. I knew that they were going to have a big impact on my life and that it was someone I would never forget. I was right and I believe we can pick up on more than we realise on first impressions. I think sometimes first impressions could lead us into danger as well though. In ways I do judge on first impressions. But, then in others I do not and I actually think it is something I should start doing more. Sometimes my first impression has been that someone is bad news and that I should stay away from them. But, me being the curious sort of person that I am. I always want to be proved wrong and I guess I always hope that they are good.

      That is obviously a bad thing because then I get to a point were if someone actually is bad, I cant even see it. I would not avoid someone or be ignorant to them because of a first impression. The only time I would is if I felt the person was dangerous to be around or if I felt uncomfortable, made them aware of it and they did not take heed. Most websites that you can speak to people on have a block button which I make very good use of. I think It is a shame there is not one for real life as well. I think that for anyone who has seen Home Alone it would be a good example. When Kevin judged the lady that feeds the birds by his first impression. He was frightened by her and she turned out to be a nice, warm person who ended up helping him. This is true to life for a lot of people. I have known people with whom my first impression has told me to stay away and when I have ignored it they turned out to be lovely. But, then I have also known others who I had a bad feeling about and it turned out to be exactly as I first thought.

      "*"*"*"*" Do I think It Is Right To Judge By First Impression? "*"*"*"*"

      This is a hard one to answer because it stems to so many different possibilities. Every person you meet has potential to improve your life or to make it bad. So that makes first impressions very important in my opinion. My Mums first impressions saved her, me, my Dad and Sisters lives. When I was younger I, my Mum, Dad and Sister were out shopping. My Mum said my Sister wanted her to go and get Willicks. So she was headed with all of us to get them and she seen some people (who she immediately thought to be shifty) enter the fish shop. She listened to her intuition (Judged them on her first impressions.)

      She said that day she got a really bad feeling about them. Despite my Sisters yapping and apparently mine too lol! (I wanted her to go to the sweet shop.) She changed her mind and decided we were not going there. She had us half way across the road to go to it. But, she changed her mind and we went a bit up the road to the chippy. Just as we had sat down there was a huge bang and the doors blew open. It turned out those people my Mum did not like were planting a bomb. My Mum says had we went, we would of been in it for sure because the queue was long and we had only just been right next to it a few minutes ago. So, in this case I am glad for her first impressions of those people. I think that if we get a bad feeling about someone it will mostly be right.

      *"*"*"*" Judging For The Wrong Reasons "*"*"*"*"

      I think we all have done it at one stage or another in some way. But, that does not make it right. I especially dislike people judging others based on what they wear and fashion. If someone is acting like they are dangerous or a risk to people around them fair enough. But, if they are just dressed how they want to be. Why shouldn't they? Anybody who will judge people for being who they are should really ask themselves if they are perfect first. And, if the answer is no and it will be for everyone because no-one is perfect. Then why be nasty about someone who has done nothing on you? I see a lot of stereotypical assumptions and that bugs me.

      People with disabilities get judged by first impressions a lot. I know this one as I have been there. When I was younger things were much worse than they are now. Then I could not walk or talk and they told my parents I never would. I thank god that I can do both normally now. But, I get very bad pains at times and they can hold me back from certain things. I put up with years of hell from very ignorant people, when it was at its worst. And, I do not think it was naivety on their part either. I think those people who judge people because of disability should think twice. Because, no-one knows what the future holds. That is not me wishing bad on anyone. It is simply the truth because no-one does. And, I say it would be very hard for the people who do judge people on that matter. If one day they are in a similar situation. I think it would be very hard for them to swallow. Among other things that bug me are Racism, Chauvinism and most other isms too .... I dont like to see people pick on others for anything of the sort. It really irritates me! In my opinion everyone is equal and no-one is better than anyone else.

      "*"*"*"*" Conclusion "*"*"*"*"

      I think it can be very hard to tell if our first impressions are right or wrong. But, I do believe everyone deserves a fair chance and I try my best to be as fair and kind as I can be. I think we all make mistakes and I think that people are not perfect. The important thing is to learn from our mistakes and keep growing.

      **** The Good ****

      * Judging by first impressions can sometimes keep you safe.

      * Sometimes you will be glad you did.

      **** The Bad ****

      * Sometimes judging by first impression can put you in a dangerous situation.

      * Sometimes you will regret having judged someone by first impressions.

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        13.05.2009 02:07
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        I'm a judgemental little so and so...Sue me!

        Do I judge people on first appearance?
        Of course I do, and I think the majority of people out there do!!

        But..

        Am I right to judge people on first appearance?
        Of course not!

        I really do try to stop my self judging on first appearance, as i know it is not right, nor is it fair, but i just cant help it! But, i do always try to hang around even if I judge them badly at first i am often proved wrong.

        Are all ugly people evil? NO
        Are all stunning people kind and considerate, and make good conversation? NO

        So why do I do it? It just seems to be natural. No matter how hard try not to, I cannot help it. On the plus side when my first immpression of someone is proved wrong, and they turn out to be lovely people, with lots of interesting things to say it makes me all happy.. I know it is strange but i actually quite like being proved wrong, as it shows that the majority of prejudices are wrong, and that we ARE all individuals.

        So yes, I do judge, but so do alot of people, and at least i hang around long enough to find out the truth. I could just walk away once i have made my first judgement, but then i probably wouldnt have half of my closest friends!

        And now im sure people will go off and judge me on the fact that i judge others!!

        Thanks for reading, Hannah .x.

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        29.01.2009 01:54
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        you can't like everyone, but you can give them a chance

        Judging on first appearance can be both dangerous and invaluable. Sometimes you get a "gut" feeling about someone that just cannot be ignored, but who's to say that you're not making a mistake? In a quandry such as this you must look to your moral compass and decide from there.

        The old addage "you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover" is a lovely line to tell to children in the hope they will think without prejudice and be "nicer" people, however it's not always as simple as that.
        I for one will hold up my hand to making a snap decision about someone within the first 5 minutes of meeting them.
        It may not be the most honourable thing to do, however, I feel that it is important that first impressions are good ones. I believe that it is imperative that you make a good impression on someone - whether you're going to an interview, you're meeting the inlaws for lunch, or merely heading out for the day.

        Granted sometimes I can be completely off the mark after making such a quick assessment of a person, but rarely I am wrong (or at least will admit to being wrong). I like to think that I am a good judge of character and have been told this on several occasions, therefore if I think that someone is a bit "iffy" and not my type of person, then generally I'm right - does this make me better than that person? Most definitely not, neither does it make me superior in any way, it just means that I know what I look for in a friend, a conspirator, and partner in crime.

        The problem occurs when people make a quick judgement and they form a prejudice towards the other person for no apparent good reason other than "they don't like them" - a valuable reason in their head, rather flimsy to society and thus we end up with unjust and unfair treatment of others.

        It's a touchy subject that can spawn arguements towards racial, religious, ethical and political debate - but at the end of the day we must remember, not everyone is meant to befriend eachother, we're different for a reason.

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          01.12.2008 16:54
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          If everyone can be more positve toward people we would all live in a happier world.

          I always try not to judge people on their first appearence. I usually try to go by what people talk about or how they treat me.

          I tend to find that if someone is a nice person I will get on well with them, I try and avoid people who are confrontational.

          I have an intersting story about first appearences. I was on a midland mainline train and sat next a man in a wheel chair who clearly had little motor skills. So he was swaying a bit. I didn't want to sit somewhere else because he was there, which I think is what most people would do.

          Anyway I smiled at him and he started talking from one of those communication pads. Asking aout a taxi, it took me a while to get used to what he was trying to say. But I really wanted to help him so I asked for a train steward who was then also quite confused, so I explained. Anyway the train man helped him in the end. The guy who was disabled just pressed a button on his pad which then said sarcastically 'peice of cake'. Me and him just started laughing.

          I was really glad I didn't make him feel alienated and it really taught me that it doesn't matter what people look like. At the end of the day none of us picked our external looks and so everyone should be given a chance.

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            23.11.2008 20:06
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            I think it's automated

            I think the time in your life when you're most likely to judge other people on first appearances is when you're a kid or teenager. In younger children I've noticed they often deliberately and slowly look a new person up and down (not in a mean way, but in an openly curious way).

            I know at high school, in my experience, people were very quick to judge on first appearances - myself included. But at university, I got used to the fact that people are often completely different from how they look, and as I've encountered so many thousands of people all with different views on clothes, of different backgrounds, of different shapes and sizes, I've come to realise it matters less and less. People are surprising, and often prove themselves completely different to how you'll think they'd be based on looks, so I've learned to block it out and instead base my views on what they do and say (not that I'm any less judgemental for it, just less superficial!).

            Celebrity culture definitely reinforces the view that we should judge on appearances - how many magazines and websites out there give ratings on the clothes or something someone wears? I think this just reinforces stereotypes and our views of people.

            At university I had a lot of friends who dressed quite radically gothic, and although I didn't, I noticed when we went out outside of uni that they would often attract stares and whispers, which upset some, but went straight over the heads of others. Generally, I don't like to be stared at - but it happens to everyone at some points - and some people do it for effect.

            So overall I guess even subconsciously we judge people on appearances, even if that inital idea is rejected or modified later on, we automatically need some way of mentally classifying people and fitting them into particular slots, no matter how different they try to be.

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              11.11.2008 01:17
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              Most things can be gilded...

              We all do, to a certain extent, don't we? It's natural pack instinct to at least be on your guard with anyone that doesn't look like your "pack" - whether that's your family, your friends, your colleagues, or any group you spend large amounts of time in where you feel safe and comfortable.

              My personal "pack" (which includes my family) is a disparate collection of people of varying creeds, colours, sexual proclivities and nationalities, but our area of common ground tends to be that we're all fairly bookish, arty, tolerant, and inquisitive. If I see a stranger that appears - on the outside - to fit that bill, then I automatically assume that they are "someone like me", and they quickly (and somewhat subconsciously) are accorded a level of trust that in my more wary and guarded moments leaves me horrified at how naive I can still be at my age.

              As far as the flipside of this goes, I'm trying to see the appearance as nothing more than a dust jacket on a book. I hope this Tale From The Vomit Comet (otherwise known as any Night Bus travelling through a city centre) will aid in showing that those we'd usually be suspicious of can surprise you pleasantly.

              Earlier this year, I did some backing singing for an event at a large Central London venue, and when we were finally released from the job just after 11pm, I was like the walking dead. You could have dropped me straight into a zombie film with no make up, and no one would have noticed. I was also so hungry, I'd happily have munched on spicy brains, zombie-stylee...

              By the time I was on my third change of Vomit Comet to get back to my South London abode, it was close to one o' clock. Anyone who uses this fine mode of London Transport frequently will attest to the fact that this is when it's busiest. Every seat was taken, and there was strap hanging room only. I couldn't even prop myself in the cupboard under the stairs, as I like to call it, as there were two (I kid you not) pushchairs with screaming toddlers inserted into the gap. At least their screaming kept me awake.

              I'd already clocked the teenage boy in top to toe Burberry/Kappa/Hoodie/Box Fresh trainers/Elizabeth Duke gold sitting in what I like to call The Throne (those magic single seats where no one can sit next to you/sleep on you/puke on you), and (I'm ashamed to say) thought "chav". But our eyes met. "You look knackered, love, wanna sit down?" He said, with a beaming smile. Did I ever. Thanks mate.

              But that wasn't the end of our encounter. By the time the bus had trundled on for another 40 minutes, I could barely remember my own name, and got off the bus minus my suit carrier. My Knight in Shining Burberry leapt off the bus at the next stop (thankfully not far) with it, and ran back to find me.

              What a gent. Chivalry is not dead. Not every hoodie is a mugger, and that nice looking City guy in the suit may batter you over the head with his briefcase.

              It's a natural instinct to make assumptions, but I'll try to approach everyone "in neutral" in future.

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                10.11.2008 22:48
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                it doesnt make me a bad person

                i have lost count of the number of times i have chosen to stand on the bus rather than sit next to a certain person because of the way they look....... does that make me a bad person?

                I HOLD MY HANDS UP, I DO JUDGE ON FIRST APPEARANCES!!!
                and if truth be told i think most people do.

                if the only spare seat on the bus is next to some young skinhead bloke, reeking of booze with piercings all over his face, a black eye, scars and teeth missing with a spiders web tattooed on his neck are you really going tothink 'oh what a nice man il go and sit with him'? or are you going to pretend you didnt see the seat and stand at the front?

                unfortunately i think the majority of people would preffer to stand, although he may be the nicest person you could ever wish to meet.

                so yes i think most people judge on first appearances, but giving people a chance is the most important thing. and not to inflict your opinion onto others, everyone should make their own minds up about another person.

                some of my closest friends are people who at first i thought hmmm im not sure of them, but put into a position where i had to be polite and chat to them i actually found them to be lovely and i am so glad to have them in my life

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                  09.11.2008 23:09
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                  Theres no way back, it's too late.

                  Unfortunately, I don't believe there is a single person that does judge on apperances. Many people claim that they don't, but they are generally just kidding themselves. To another extreme some people claim they don't as they think this will make more attractive women enjoy their company. How horribly ironic. I believe it is human nature to judge someone on their appearance, but it shouldn't be that way. We do it because it is how we have adapted, similar to stereotypes. We complain, but we do it. It's our (word removed due to dooyoo complaint) - up human nature and we can't do anything about it, what's done is done. Reversing human nature is slightly out of the question, but should we embrace it? I think we already have, and in all honesty it can only get worse. The problem in today's society is that first appearances can be false, put on as a front for reasons in relation to insecurity. It would take much more careful examination to find that true person, but with juding on first appearances we never get that far. I am afraid to say that I don't think this will change. So as it stands, there is no point going any further with this discussion. If it can't be changed then why bother. I know this seems rather brash and possibly ignorant but give me a good reason why I should bother? What good is it going to do? I'm open to suggestions so feel free, it's always good to bounce ideas off people.

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                    30.10.2008 20:25
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                    it's just a part of being human.

                    You hear the saying "never judge a book by it's cover" repeated throughout life referring to all sorts of things, however, we all judge people, and we know we do. As often as you hear people say they would like to get to know people, there are always situations which lead you to automatically judge people.

                    For example, I was at a party a few weeks ago, surrounded by people I know and love, and these two girls entered, who I had never met before. As soon as I looked at them, I didn't like them, and felt automatically uncomfortable. Even now, I couldn't really tell you what it was I disliked, but I did not like or feel comfortable about them, and made very quick judgements within seconds of seeing them for the first time. Admittedly, after speaking to one of the girls for a short while, I discovered she wasn't as bad as I first expected, showing that, first judgements are not always correct.

                    However, in a world where you hear on a daily basis about people being raped, murdered and stabbed, sometimes these judgements on first appearance are necessary. If you saw somebody carrying a gun, you would make a judgement about such a thing, because it's dangerous. Such judgements are understandable.

                    However, girls are judged for wearing make-up and short skirts, youths are judged if they are in groups, people are judged if they are wearings hoodies... All things which are a daily occurance now, but which bring about judgements without knowledge of the individuals..
                    Judgements are very much a natural part of being human, and is something which will never change. First appearances can be vital sometimes to make a good impression, although sometimes, people need to be given a better chance.

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                      22.10.2008 15:49
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                      Judging is prejudice and prejudice is negative.

                      I believe I do though I try not too. As a typical Libran though I am not a Libran , I am indecisive about this.

                      Here's why. Generally, I don't judge a person on the street by the way they look or the clothes they wear. I would always look upon the different look as their style. Perhaps its because I too have my own style and since I don't want to be judge, I will not judge others too.

                      But I do judge, I am not sqeaky clean. I judged the people who have characteristic I disliked. People who are pompous, speak loudly and are show off, I judged them when I hear their voice from a mile.

                      I have learned my lessons about judging people by their first appearance. Take this scenario, I meet someone who looks arrogant and look like a show off, my first thought would be- ' I don't like this person, I think he is very arrogant'. I speak to him and he was actually a very nice person. I regret my initial judgement of the person, I feel guilty and then try to made up by being extra nice.

                      I believe the act of judging on first appearance is a being prejudice. Prejudice exude negative energy. Instead of bringing or holding people together, prejudice push them apart. Prejudice is prejudgment that is making a decision about someone before becoming aware of the relevant facts. Prejudice blinds our ability to make sound decisions. Prejudice narrow our perspective of the person.

                      So should I or should I not judged people on first appearance? No, I am not going to change my stance, I will not judged people on first appearance.

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                        28.08.2008 10:10
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                        Awareness is all.

                        Yes I do, we all do.
                        The important thing for me is to be aware of that and temper my first judgement with reason. (and hopefully compassion)

                        For example, my first judgement of someone who is rolling around drunk might be. "Here is someone out of control, not good, keep out of their way, avoid!" and I would feel some anxiety, perhaps fear. (Particularly if they were six foot six with a broken table leg in their hand, and trying to focus on me.)

                        If I am aware that that is what I am thinking and feeling then I can make decisions about what I need to do and I how I might relate to that person now and in the future.
                        Awareness of my reaction is very important. Lack of awareness leads to all sorts of problems and lost opportunities.

                        So, let's look at the 'Falling down drunk' scenario.

                        The man on the floor might well be a habitual and dangerous drunk who needs avoiding like a bad case of botulism. On the other hand, he might be someone who hasn't had a drink for years, goes out to celebrate his 40th Birthday, his stupid mates spike his drink, he falls over and breaks the table he was at because he is so big. He is trying to focus on you because he is worrying, somewhere in his fuddled mind, that it was your table and he is about to get a royal bollocking. He doesn't need avoiding. He needs helping off the floor and a taxi home.

                        We take in information at an amazing rate, too fast to really know what we are absorbing. How a first 'appearance' affects us will be made up of a large combination of factors: What we actually see, what we can smell, what we hear, previous encounters with similar looking people, what we have heard or read about similar looking people, etc.
                        The list is very long of what contributes to our judgements. What makes it all so complicated is that an awful lot of what we perceive is under our level of awareness and going on without conscious thought. Part of you is doing this constantly it's a survival mechanism.
                        That's how we get so many ugly prejudices. (don't start me on that!) There's an old saying " Some people can reach the age of fifty with fifty years of experience, some people can get to the age of fifty with one year of experience fifty times." The latter is what happens if you don't give yourself time to learn from new experiences and only believe first appearances.

                        So, in answer to the question and in order not to bore you rigid. (If I haven't already done so.)

                        Yes I do judge on first appearances! So do you. We just need to know we are doing it and avoid acting as though our first judgements are foolproof.

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                          04.03.2008 08:59
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                          sometimes too much time is wasted hurting others

                          Can such a silly question truly be asked? Using such a notorious / famous photo to justify the question in itself is a judgement, why was an ugly hunchback used and not a Victoria Secret Model? they too can be judged by comparison or is it that we only judge what is bad and negative? Who are we talking about the average "Joe Blog" on the street, celebrities or the park drunk who has lost everything he ever owned, the fireman who has severe burns from saving the life of another...... where is the bar set with the question and at what point do we begin judging appearance ethically? We do what we want, when we want and how we want. I have read the other reviews and they all have the truth in them but no solution. How do we prevent ourselves from being cruel to people unnecessarily? how do we do this today when the world we live in has evil elements, wicked people who are cruel and unjust? I know it seems so easy to say yet very difficult to answer maybe it is chemical, genetic etc..... however the mind is a powerful thing, reason is something most of us possess and should use, in most instances your instinct will kick in at some point to warn you if something is off with someone regardless of their appearance, however you may not respond to the signs and therefore be left wondering "how did I miss that?" - we are all so different in how we perceive the world and that is usually due to individual experiences and suffering - so to wrap it up, trust your instincts - don't be too harsh be thankful for who you are and what you have and remember people are often victims of circumstances far beyond their control tread lightly your appearance could change in a second and you would not want to be judged based on that - Would you ?

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                            26.07.2007 12:04
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                            Welcome to Earth.

                            I was walking past the local primary school, the kids were whizzing around in the playground, getting ready for school hols, looking the picture of happiness. What a great day that was when we were kids.
                            Some bean bags and tennis balls had come over the fence and onto the public street. I bent down and through them back over, smiling at the kids who were saying thank you, some making cheeky comments etc. Because I touched the fence near their hands the security guard gave me a really nasty look and immediately locked the gate. Man I felt like whacking him for such paranoid and antagonistic behavior.
                            Clearly the school must have felt that the six million to one chance that a child could be abducted off the street was going to be in their school yard and so they needed Andy McNab guarding the hoola hoops. The day you can’t smile at kids without feeing like a pedo is already here it seems. I certainly wasn’t dressed like a pedo (what ever that is) and so judged by purely being there and then. The fact the parents are nine times more likely to abuse them than a total stranger is at any one time is neither here nor there it seems in this PC and paranoid world we live in.

                            As chaotic as the world seems there are systems in play that stops anarchy. Our brains and eyes are designed to keep those structures in place. The Police can only react to crime and disorder, not prevent it. It’s up to us to avoid situations and help others in them. But under New Labors nanny state we have definitely been cosseted too much, not letting our kids out of site an example of, meaning the above paranoia. This means we are judging people even more these days.

                            Apparently our genetic gene pool, made up of atoms from the beginning of time, is designed to make us paranoid and defensive on threats around us. This is how the human species survives on this baron rock. The brain is lazy and designed to make the obvious and easy option, hence us not liking exercise and getting up to change the TV channel when we cant find the remote to click off My Family. We quickly learn that it’s stupid to run in front of traffic as it is also dumb to ask Sean Pen for his autograph after a few pints. Therefore being judgmental is intrinsic in our paranoid psyche and so should be listened to. If you see a young guy under a baseball cap and wrapped in the polyester shell suit the chances of if he being a mugger quickly shoots up in your head.

                            Scientist have recently introduced CCTV software that can calculate if we will have criminal tendencies or not by computer mapping of our walking gate. I think we have all seen the council house oiks and their penguin bo-legged walk, spitting to mark their perceived territory, presumably the ones the scientists are talking about. The gate is a tell tale sign of a wrong un, apparently!

                            If you see a young kid in a shell suit then it’s fair to say it’s the chosen uniform of the underclass scavenger, the feral youth scurrying around the sink estates of the UK- vandalizing, taking drugs and causing merry hell to residents. They wear shell suits to play up to that role, therefore should always be judged as what they want to be, and so avoided. You increase your chances of an easy life by doing just that.

                            One of the deepest pre programmed glitches in the human being is its mistrust of other ethnic minorities. It’s irrational that most Caucasians are intimidated by Afro Caribbean men but that’s they way it seems to be. You would presume this goes back to slavery and the racial divide carved out between the slave traders of all colors. This is why some black guys tend to have chips on their shoulders. Unfortunately both sides reinforce and fore fill racial stereotypes because of this divide and suffer conflicts, the authority of the ‘thin blue line’ the ones that suffer it the most.

                            Its not only crime and race that has us being prejudice and judgmental, social class and the opposite sex also have us talking stereotypes.
                            It’s always been fairly easy to tell the differences between the socials classes in the UK and that’s why pubs and the suburbs, for example, are as territorial as they are. If the clientele are wearing nylon and polyester, lots of cheap and chunky jewelry on show, you know it’s NOT a redbrick student pub. If there are lots of designer cotton labels and a distinct lack of make up about on the lasses then you know it’s not a sink estate pub. In fact class distinction is nowhere more apparent than it is in the UK. If a girl is pregnant by 17 she aint posh, and therefore you can fill in the gaps with your opinion and stereotypes on her, as we all do. You won’t see Ben from Exeter University wearing a ‘Bench’ top! You also want see Kylie listening to Radiohead. We resort to stereotypes to fit in and be liked. The Oasis/Blur battle was a classic example of. If you picked Blur you were a middle class plonker wanting to be working class at college and if you picked Oasis you were working class. If you picked neither you were neither, the place no one wants to be if they want to be part of the all important social groupings that define the youth of today.

                            The mating game is where we are at our worse for judging people, English girls particularly selective these days. Like I said I’ve noticed the more intelligent a girl is the less need she has to wear make-up, and so the sexier she is to me. The girls of lower social classes rely more on their ‘mating capacities’ to be noticed in life, caking on the slap, regularly seen in mid January on a Saturday night wearing next to nothing in the freezing cold, than building their own empires. They see marriage and boyfriends as the best way out of poverty where as educated women increasingly put careers before relationships and babies.

                            The amounts of hoops you have to jump through in class ridden Britain are many, as we all know. Some will have experienced that on dooyoo. I certainly have over the years. I mellowed a lot on judging people, especially on appearance, after I went traveling around the globe meeting lots of interesting people. But class has always been visual in the UK. Believe it or not but everyone in the high street that many of us sneer at because they act and look a certain way have a story and a dream too, and often more likeable and intelligent than they seem. I’m constantly amazed how interesting people are and how other people will always judge them buy what they are wearing or the way they talk, rather than what they have to say. The true middleclass have a certain way they speak that makes them instantly recognizable. They also act in a predictable way that makes them vulnerable. You see that reflected on message boards and opinion sites, often assaulted with google facts and figures by the thought police when I try to have my own unique opinion on things.

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                              23.07.2007 21:41
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                              biology makes us do it, lets change that right here, right now!

                              i think that biologically we are programmed to judge people by first appearance. We gain our opinions by information. When we first meet someone, the quickest way we have to gain information, is by what we see. visual information gained by this is processed by the brain to see if we 'allow' this person to get to the next stage of gaining information, which is the most useful. It is of course by talking to them, or getting to know them. At this point it moves from the judgement made being made solely by ourselves, to a mutual decision made by both parties. This is often how the strongest relationships are forged.

                              We have all been guilty of this if we are honest. If you are walking along, and a gang of youths in tracksuits come towards you, do you not instinctively put your hand to where your money is, as you have assumed that these people are dodgy, and would steal your granny. in my job i get to meet hundreds of people a day, and have found it interesting to note how some people who look not too dissimilar to the bloke in the pic(no offence to them.), have turned out to be some of the most informed and well educated people i have met.

                              now, i am not sugesting that we go up to strange looking people in a mad crusade to see if they are indeed the freak that we thought they were, but rather trying to lessen our stereotypical viewpoint of society as a whole. treat people the same as you would like to be treated, live and let live. especially those of us with kids, as we pass our attitudes down. We will eventual breed a race of humans who do not trust eachother, and as you know, if we cant trust people, how can we love them!!!

                              In concusion, although i have most certainly been guilty of this in the past, i think that we should not let stereotypes of modern society lead us. Trust more in forming opinions of our own by gaining information about the person. Talk to them, give them the chance to prove to you that they are what we percieve to be 'normal', after all who's to say that they are not thinking the same things about you!G

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                                23.07.2007 21:08
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                                I like the picture. Characters like that will always be judged by first appearance.

                                Actually every one of us judge someone from the first appearance until this person is better understood or becomes part of the gang.

                                It is a natural mechanism that is built in us for protection.

                                Another thing about a new person is that many people will naturally be polite yet keep a distance or reserve themselves and not open up like they will to a colleague or relation. It is the fear on the unknown you never know how this knew person will be.

                                Judging by first appearance could be forgiven because once you get to know the person; in case of a good person your perception will change and for a bad person you will feel worse than you met first time.

                                You will find this trait in not only in humans but other living things too, animals, birds, insects etc. I am not too sure about trees. Trees don't show any emotions and trees don't move so I think trees are not in the same league as other living things.

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