As Mavis Riley Once Famously Whined.... (Do You Judge on First Appearance?)

Member Name: marandina

Product:	Do You Judge on First Appearance?
Date:	08/06/07 (275 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Lovely people

Disadvantages: Munters

..Well I don't reeeeeally knoooowwww.....

Have you ever wondered what makes one person so much more attractive than another? We could all sit here right now and claim that beauty is only skin deep but that all goes out the window when you realise that you’ve paired up with a right munter during the night due to far too much alcohol being imbibed or simply forgetting to put your contact lenses in until it’s too late. So you’ve committed to a rendezvous with the person of your dreams and you need to make a call on whether you like their appearance or not. So what’s our definition of being “attractive” and why? Weeeell *dons glasses to look intelligent* attractiveness to a psychologist means how others perceive and rate the desirability of a person's features. This perception/rating depends on both the inherent physical attractiveness of the person’s face as well as how well these features are presented. Whilst we have a whole host of physical features on display, generally the most important is the face as it represents a person’s identity and is the most exposed feature we have (depending on whether you are in a strip club or a nudist colony, I guess) and a whole industry is built on our desire to maintain a nice, attractive face if it’s within our remit to do so. Of course, for some this won’t be possible in which case you are more likely to be worried about compensating factors like having a “great personality” whilst wearing a rather large bag over your head.

In depth research (I checked on the Hinternet last night) has revealed that one of the most important factors in facial attractiveness is facial symmetry i.e. features mirrored across the vertical midline of the face and in a certain proportion to each other. Small imperfections are unlikely to deflect too much from a person’s attractiveness although the proportion and/or size of facial features such as the nose or ears are also likely to affect the way we rate someone. There are some curious exceptions to this like the actor Owen Wilson who has a prominently crooked nose and yet he’s considered attractive/handsome along with others who have exaggerated features like Billy Piper. It’s the done thing these days (or at least was) to pump a lady’s lips full of collagen and have a pout like Mick Jagger sucking a lemon although it is important to get the procedure right as Lesley Ash found out to her cost. Other factors in facial attractiveness include the shape of the face, an assumption that a beautiful face means that a person is fit and in good health and a lack of moles and scars (not forgetting that a whole element of the comedy of Mike Myers/Austin Powers would disappear overnight if people didn't have moles on their face).

So would I judge someone’s appearance on a first date given all of the above and any local knowledge that I’ve just made up? Well, apart from someone’s face there would be lots of other things to factor in. In my case, as we would be talking about a lay-dee, I’d be looking at their physical dimensions (nice curves etc), dress well and…yes….sorry…have a great personality. Oh....come on, let’s face it, there’s nowt better than a bird.......erm.......girl who is a bit of a laff and you can share the odd gag with. No, I don’t mean someone willing to go to the Comedy Club with you every week but just someone who can smile, laugh at your jokes and not take themselves too seriously (or you, ooooobviously, but then you are a loser with a top drawer woman and you can’t believe your luck yer fool). So having measured your date’s face to make sure her face is perfectly symmetrical; checked to make sure her face is the right shape; lopped off any moles or blemishes and squinted to ensure the size of her facial features aren’t offensively large, then it’s time for a "hot or not" score according to whichever Richter scale of non-munterishness you are using. The trouble with all of this is that, whether we like it or not, we judge people all the time subconsciously whether we want to or not and being judgmental comes with the territory. Just look at the accursed “Big Brother” and I’m sure that people have made their mind up about the house mates by now, even if most of it may well be stage managed to enhance a show designed to attract ratings, large viewing figures and income from sponsorship and advertising. The fact is that we form an opinion of someone, largely based on the interaction of the first 30 seconds primarily and then the first few minutes in the main. So you see, that brown paper bag on your head ain’t fooling anyone and most people will just assume that you are ugly or a wino anyway.

So what can we do to combat this vicious judgmentalism? Well, we can influence our facial features through the application of beauty products, our dress sense by wearing nice clothes and our manner by taking lessons in mirth and merriment from Jack Dee. These are all things we can do to positively influence other people’s opinions of us but is it all worth it? Of course, if you are a movie buff, you will have seen endless movies harping on about just being yourself suitably undermined by the advertising both beforehand and through product placement that plays on our feelings of inadequacy by the advertisers. Quite frankly, I would endorse this whole thing about being yourself but then it all goes out the window when my partner tells me to stop being a scruffy sod and to put some after shave on because I smell like s**t. There you go again, y’see, us being manipulated by other people and being yourself only seems possible by finding a rock in the middle of Dartmoor and sitting at the top, meditating in just your underpants.

So have I actually answered the question? In reality, I don’t know because I’m so heavily influenced by a myriad of internal and external influences that it’s hard to form an opinion in my own right. Then again, maybe I’m just not sure anymore and will awake in a cold sweat, having had an erotic dream about the Weather Girls singing “It’s Raining Men” whilst attending to my every sexual desire. Hmmmmm…………………….

Thanks for the read

Mara

Summary: Read it and weep (most probably)