I confess - I'm an addict! (dooyoo Addiction)

Name: kjl12

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Product:	dooyoo Addiction
Date:	25.07.05 (134 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: It's addictive...

Disadvantages: ....but who cares??

Well yes, that's hardly a surprise to anyone is it? So, forget NHS direct, here is the dooyoo medical encyclopaedia guide to the hottest syndrome in town 'dooyoo addiction'

**self diagnosis**

First, complete this short quiz - if the answer to most of the questions is yes, read on.

1. Do you have a dooyoo account?
2. Do you check the site daily?
3. Do you rate as well as write reviews?
4. Do you write comments?
5. Can you name more than 5 other dooyoo members without cheating?
6. Is your review total in double (or three) figures?
7. Do you know where Marandina went on holiday?
8. Do you read reviews even if you know nothing about that subject and have no real interest in it?
9. Do you spend ages coming up with a witty title, preferably with a play on words?
10. Do you ever wonder if Lush have got a secret sponsorship deal with the site which we know nothing about?


**Infection**

Dooyoo Addiction (DA) is spread through unprotected use of the internet, and thus infects a wide spread of the population. This method of infection has also meant that DA has become widespread across the country and, in some cases, the world. DA is thought to have originated in Germany.


**Resistance**

DA has no known vaccination or antidote. Occasional individuals seem to have a natural resistance to DA (in particular drunk students with a grudge against their university and those really fed up with a call centre) and these individuals shrug off the infection after just one attack , known as a 'review.' For most the infection is permanent, and even if patients go into a period of remission, sometimes lasting months or years, careless internet use can easily provoke a relapse at any time.

**Symptoms**

DA sufferers are easily identified by their compulsive need to check their medical status (their ‘account’). This is particularly the case after a ‘review’ where they show a compulsive desire to get their next fix (the search for ‘ratings‘). Patients take an unhealthy interest in the ‘reviews’ of others and a sinister online community for exchanging information and ‘ratings’ has developed. Patients show an increased desire to ‘log in’ and are often known to exclaim ‘why do I have to login again, I just did it a second ago?’ As DA takes hold, reviews become more frequent and more severe sometimes leading to extended attacks or ‘crowns.’ There is little hope once ‘crowns’ are in evidence, but carers should be reassured that DA patients rarely become violent, although there have been reports of irritability and sulking.

**Treatment**

There are few treatments known to be effective, most provide only temporary relief. Treatments include:

The 'not useful' rating - unpleasant, side effects include aggression and defensive comments
Severing of the internet connection - going 'cold turkey' not to be recommended except in extreme cases.
'Ciao' - temporary relief from DA, but by no means a cure.

Summary: The definitive guide to dooyoo addiction