Newest Review: ... addiction into me. For the past week I have spent my days marking all of the products I use out of 5 in my head...... Is this normal? The... more
I tried to get out of this life but they keep sucking me back in
Member Name: pert_abacus
Advantages: "free vouchers"
Disadvantages: I used to have a life, damn it!
Hi my name is Pert Abacus and I'm a Dooyooaholic (as well as being several other made up words like skiddlebopper and murfmurpurple).
It was an innocent enough mistake to make. A colleague, we'll call him 'colleague', told me about the site and how he'd recently made £15 in Amazon vouchers just for writing a few reviews.
He said it was just for fun....
He told me that if I joined the site he'd look at my reviews and rate them so I'd get some points and I'd do the same for him.
Looking back I feel so ashamed, it was like 1972 and 'you show me yours & I'll show you mine' all over again (though obviously without the nuns, aubergines or protracted court case).
I found myself logging on to the site at all hours, posting random nonsensical comments on other peoples reviews just so they'd notice me and rate mine.... I was so desperate to get miles, to convert them into vouchers for amazon...
I made up characters to write reviews for me, dropped in references to 'real events' in my reviews just to pad them out, invented tv shows, dead cats, radio programmes, celebrity deaths, actors, scandals, anything I could think of just to make my reviews stand out.
I even, God help me, ...... I even contemplated writing reviews about Lush.......
On my darkest days I would log on repeatedly, willing those miles to creep up.
I even sold out, wrote a normal review just so I could get a crown. My friend Monkey Peter helped me celebrate by getting me drunk & trying to get a tattooist to tattoo a large yellow crown on my forehead, fortunately I vomited on him before he could begin.....
(you see, even in a 'confessional review' I can't help myself, the nonsense creeps back in)
Until a few days ago I'd gone cold turkey, I hadn't been on teh site but now I find myself back here again.
It's 12:30 (am), I've got to get up for work in 5 hours yet here I am back on Dooyoo, a slave to the miles....
If you're reading this and haven't yet been sucked in then I advise you to run.... get away from this site....NOW!!!!!
However, if like me, you're a proper addict then I have the perfect cure for you, simply go to my profile and read each of my nonsense soaked reviews. It's like when your dad tried to get you to stop smoking by getting you to chain a whole pack until you threw. If reading all my reviews, if spending time with all that weird shit that I spout doesn't make you think twice about where this might be leading you then you;re as damned as me.
PS if you do decide to read my reviews don't forget to rate them ,I'll be sitting here at all hours watching the miles
Summary: Get out, get your children out