The truth about Dooyooitis (dooyoo Addiction)

Member Name: Slim Lee

Product:	dooyoo Addiction
Date:	30/03/01 (106 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Fun and a great place to find out about new things

Disadvantages: It will take over your life. Ignore me at your peril ......

So, how can you tell you’re addicted then?

Well, for one thing wanting to write an opinion on why you are so addicted is probably a good enough indication in itself. Reading this opinion too is a good sign that you’re at the very least a minor sufferer.

I call it this suffering “Dooyooitis” and yes I do have it bad. Thankfully, I’m not alone in my torment. Hundreds of tortured souls litter the UK as I type, hunched over their keyboard squinting at screen.

It’s been almost five months now since I discovered dooyoo and if anything the condition is worsening. I’ve tried to stay away over the last three weeks (dooyoo writers block – very frustrating), but it hasn’t worked. Days away from the PC, nights out with friends and a rediscovered social life still haven’t managed to kill of this most virulent of diseases. So I guess I’m stuck with it now!

As with any afflication that’s worth its salt there are a number of symptoms of Dooyooitis, some suffers get off lightly with a few of them, while occasionally some poor souls are struck down with the virulent form. Whilst still in its early days there are new variations and strains popping up all the time


Dooyooitis – the symptoms


(I) Minor Symptoms:
• Dark rings under eyes (from lack of sleep)
• Bloodshot eyes
• Lower nicotine levels in your bloodstream (who has time to smoke???)
• Higher chocolate consumption (I blame that jillmurphy broad .. tsk)
• General loss of appetite (with the exception of chocolate)
• Unexpected hyperactivity when someone ask you “What do you think?”
• Consistent blabbering about gold pointy hats
• You keep typing the word "do" with an extra "o"
• Likewise with the word "you" replacing the "u" with an "o", it&#
39;s quite normal and not something to get to disturbed by
• When you’ve posted your latest masterpiece and you click on to Home and it isn’t there you kick the nearest object (dog/cat/husband/bucket)

(II) Serious Symptoms:
• The first thing you do when getting back from work is to turn the PC on check your reads (please remember to turn the burglar alarm off first as this does tend to annoy te neighbours)
• What neighbours??
• You have logged into your account every single day in the last month (even if just to check your reads)
• Your consumption of microwave and tin food starts to hit alarming regularity
• You can’t write an opinion under 1500 words
• You’ve forgotten what day it is
• You are considering getting a fridge next to the PC as it’s such a long way to get beer and chocolate recently
• After writing an opinion you start surfing to “research” your next subject in a vain attempt to be original
• You are entered in the Hall Of Fame

(III) Past any hope of a cure:
• The first thing you think of in the morning is reading some more opinions
• On the rare occasions that you manage to drag yourself away from the PC, you make notes on the TV programme/film/CD for your next opinion
• You actually buy something with the intention of writing an opinion on it (hey you’ve seen a category for it so why not?)
• It was who’s birthday yesterday?? Oh dear
• On the way back from the bathroom in the middle of the night you login to check your reads (these sufferers can be found out by the time of comments left)
• Surely the kids/dog/cat/husband can feed themselves by now??
• You start every discussion with a short summary of its advantages and disadvantages
• On a rare outing to a nightclub you hand out Dooyoo condoms in the qu
eue to get in (you know who you are!)
• You fall asleep cradling your PC
• You become a Guru


Dooyooitis – the antidote?


Umm, there isn’t one.

I’ve tried all sorts of things to get me off this “drug”, mostly involving copious amounts and mixtures of an alcoholic base. Even a wild night out on the town doesn’t help, as the first thing you think about is reviewing the bars/clubs you went to. Mingling with the outside world only give you more things to write opinions on, so be very careful if you do decide to venture out.


Dooyoooitis – how to survive it


Ermmm, kind of hoped you lot could help me out on this one really.
I’m certainly not the best example of how to live with “Dooyooitis”

Try to:
• Take a break from the PC every hour (yeah right, like that’s possible… phft)
• Unplug the modem from the phone socket and actually call your friends (if they are still talking to you)
• Set a time limit each day for using the PC (ha ha! Not a chance mate!!)
• Leave the damn thing alone every other day and read a book instead (I’m trying … I really am)
• Pull the curtains every day to get used to the sight of daylight
• Cut off the plug for the PC and ask a friend to hide it (should take a few days to find and rewire)
• If all else fails just make sure the fridge is well stocked with beer and chocolate


I’m not sure how much I’ve helped some of you fellow sufferers here (go on NU it!) but hopefully I’ve made you chuckle a couple of times.

Hey ...... hold on a darn minute ..... where dooyoo think you’re going eh? Rate this before turning of the PC!!


Cheers,
Dr Slim

Summary: