THE BOOKER PRIZE OF DOOYOO (dooyoo Crowns)

Member Name: snappy

Product:	dooyoo Crowns
Date:	27/03/02 (93 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: yes

Disadvantages: snappy

Becoming increasing peeved (not to say pi$$ed off) at the rapidly decreasing numbers of dooyooers that feel the desire to read my opinions, I thought I'd try this.

Write in a popular category like this new 'dooyoo crowns' one. Yeah, great idea - at last my words will be read. At last, after a mere 300 odd opinions churned out over 20 odd months, I will get the widespread recognition that my fantastic writing ability deserves.

Ah, but what to say? More to the point - what to comment that has not been covered before. Maybe I could rant and moan (Oh No, he's not going to do that AGAIN!!)....no, hold on, don't dash off and read something else. Gis a chance, you never know I might be worth reading (Oh yeah - AS IF?)

The Dooyoo Crown system. Don't you just love it? One of the most discussed, defiled, praised etc etc... roobarb roobarb. Yes, it's certainly been the centre of attention for pretty much all my time on this site. The main bone of contention is "How the flipping 'eck do you get one of the damnthings?" Well for some people, it appears to be easy - for other mere mortals, it is nigh on impossible. I have, in the past, expoused the theory that it is WHO You are rather than, WHAT you write, that generates the volumes of crowns for some writers. It does seem to be a wholly inexplicable system, not to say 'inequitble'. That some writers whether new on the site or 'old hands' can hit upon the secret to receive crowns for every two or thre opinions they submite, yet others have to literally 'write their balls off' to get a nomination. I must confess that personally it is HIGHLY FRUSTRATING.

But, I promised I'd not moan and groan and frankly, I'm beginning to 'care less'. Indeed, why should I? It is a supposed 'mark of excellence' - let's forget the paltry £1.50 that the crown earns you, the 'crown' conveys to the masses that the opi
nion that has been bestowed with the 'jaggy bunnet' (A Scottish terminology, much loved of the Johnstonian clan), is the tops! Indicating additionally that the writer of said 'bunnetted' opinion is one the reader should cling to, for he/she is a fountain of all knowledge.

Thus, I begin my quest for a crown of my own. I am not a superstitious person. I find it terribly difficult trying to type with my fingers crossed - but on this occasion and in my avowed quest for the holy 'crown' of dooyoo, I have popped into Burger King, picked up one of their cardboard crowns and am wearing it at this very moment in the vain attempt that it's wondrous glow will somehow rub off on my pathetic writing.

So, that's one tip if you want to get a crown - "Get a crown, Get a head, Get a crown on your head" (although what the hell do I know?)

~Tip number two - as mentioned earlier "Write your balls off". Please note, this certainly does not preclude any females from earning themselves crowns. And there are plenty of them on this site, who have more balls than me when it comes to putting the odd sentence or ten together.

~Tip number three - As mentioned above, many excellent lady, woman, girly type writers of the opposite gender-like sex are past masters (err mistresses) in earning the 'pointy hats'. Thus may I ask for you to share your advice on how it's done in a "Get your Tips out for the boys' opinion or comment?

That comment is quite obviously aimed at the comely 'sexy kay', whose 'tips' are always well received.....

....And finally (because I'm beginning to get bored and starting a headache with this silly crown on - plus, I'll be a bit embarrassed if my wife comes up and finds me wearing it!)...I've read serious suggestions about extending the Dooyoo crown system by having categories or a quality of crown. A Bronze crown for a ru
n-of-the-mill brilliant opinion. A Silver crown for a really super-duper one and the zenith - the ultimate, Gold crown for the absolute Grand master of opinions. A very worthy idea, I must say - it would probably give me a sniff of getting the occasional 'rusty' crown.

BUT - Hey, hang on there, you might just have the germ of an idea. How about a Top opinion of the month? It could maybe get to say on the front page of Dooyoo for the next month and be held up as a shining example to all others of the 'best of the best' of Dooyoo. Whether Dooyoo's funds can run to awarding this coruscating** opinion some almighty wonga, I doubt - but why not approach a Sponsor? After all it would be rewarding excellence. The 'Booker prize of Dooyoo' could be launched with all monthly winners for the year as nominations and the overall winner getting.....a BMW, Diamond Necklace, Caribbean Holiday or even, who knows - a free Macdonalds Happy meal!

Ouch, this damned BK Crown really is 'going to my head' - but maybe I have just given the tiniest food for thought. One thing you can be sure of - this op WON'T Win it!

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**look it up in a dictionary - I once scored a goal that was described thus!

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