How to be crowned - 3.5% of the time! (dooyoo Crowns)

Member Name: buttonman

Product:	dooyoo Crowns
Date:	17/05/02 (142 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: 1500 miles = 150p!

Disadvantages: Lot of polishing

I have managed to write a total of 170 opinions on Dooyoo and although they have all been great a mighty six have been admitted to the hall of fame that is 'The Premier Opinions' pantheon. Unlike most I have chosen not to list them on my profile page preferring to allow my visitors the joy of finding a diamond in the rough, indeed I am so modest I chose only to write an opinion heralding the fact!

In truth I've got no real idea what merits a crown and have been surprised by each award. Unlike the talented writers who clearly research their opinions and draft and redraft them my works flow like sewerage from a pipe, only slightly more fragrantly. Many have argued that crowns are divisive and awarded on a clique basis. Sadly the people who claim this usually write eight word treatises on Blue Peter with the majority of the words being 'cheese'. I have no clique involvement and indeed a conspiracy to monopolise the £1.50's is a touch sad. In the ten minutes I've scribbled this I'd have earned more at work and as this will never see a crown anyway it's a moot point. The best way to earn a crown is to make a useful well informed judgement on a product in a witty and informative way in at least 2000 words. But rather than go down that road let's analyse my lacklustre performance to see if we can work out a less painful formula.

Location, location, location
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It's not what you've got it's where you put it to paraphrase my vicar. Dooyoo has recently announced that crowns will now only be awarded in the goods and services categories. Being a commercial website I can fully accept this. How can shoppers make a consumers' decision about the death of a pet? Similarly how can a pointless 'How to get a crown' opinion be of use to anyone? If you want them miles give up on that 'Why I like Rent-a-ghost' opinion and get down and dirty with a product that
Dooyoo can actually sell. The 1500 miles award for a 'premier opinion' is equivalent to 50 reads so it’s worth the effort although paying off the mortgage is still a bit off.

My super six have been in five different categories so clearly no one product or group is better than another when you are crown hunting. One small tip would be to diversify. By next week there will be 50 'Attack of the Clones' opinions but who can be bothered to sift through all that nonsense. A better idea would be to review a less hyped recent release that people may not have heard about. My 'Shallow Hal' opinion is a case in point. Although great there may be better constructed 'Lord of the Rings' opinions but who will read through 100+ of them to find the one worth looking at?

Obviously detail is important too. I've had two crowned opinions about hotels. I find these easy as you can say what you see just like Roy Walker era 'Catch Phrase'. You can visualise your days there easily and just run through the things that are important - shower pressure, freebies, price of mini bar etc. An opinion on something like the internal combustion engine is harder as it's easier to forget bits and it's duller too. 'Slices of life' are good too as again it's from experience you write and are less likely to give a dull sitting on the fence opinion as you might reviewing Showadywaddy's greatest hits. An easy one for me was my crowned opinion on DVD shops. I simply listed a few noted their pros and cons and et voila 10% of a DVD was mine.

Striking a chord is also good but maybe less easy now. My recent battle of the bulge, which is still ongoing BTW, generated my best ever comments return. Again an easy op to write as it comes from the heart, er , belly and little preparation is needed. Sadly such opinions are no longer crown worthy although I'm sure you could stick it under 'Slimmers' World'.


Style over Substance?
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Some writers are definately (SIC!) hung up over grammar (she's better with the new pills!) and spelling and I concede they are important if a crown is to be considered. Personally I'd rather read 250 badly spelt witty words than 2500 dull ones but it can be denied that impressions matter. After 100 ops of writing in the Dooyoo window I eventually discovered the joys of Word and cut and paste. I've yet to work out how to stop apostrophes appearing as question marks but that's easy fixed.

The award of the crown is in the gift of the category manager or assistant and clearly some sucking up can't go wrong. I tend to post what I like but I can admire those who aim for a crown in every category. I mean my Tampon opinion is no where near ready! If you are crown hungry a good way to sate your appetite would be to read some crowned ops to start with. My six for a start! This will not only let you get an idea of the standard but also let you know what style of opinion gets the gold in each category. Some like ops which read like a page out of an encyclopaedia whereas other like good ones!

A long screed of print can be off putting so remember to break your text into bite sized pieces. It also makes it easier to skim over the dull bits! I've always set off not fully knowing where I'm going when doing an op and I think this makes a piece more natural and readable. Some will disagree but generally I read ops to be entertained not to be preached to. It’s unlikely I'll buy panty liners or go to Vietnam so if an opinion doesn’t grab me from the off them I will be.

To this end always keep it light and remember brevity is the soul of wit. I always include supposedly funny stuff that at least keeps me amused. Some writers are pretty po-faced and self absorbed and for me this isn't why we are here. I hope Dooyoo will never be my primary source of
income and that a crown will never be anything other than an unexpected bonus. Six is plenty anyway, one for every weekday and one for the weekend...

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