Excuse Me Are You A Real One!! (little update) (Gender Dysphoria)

Member Name: Crazylittledevil

Product:	Gender Dysphoria
Date:	24/10/01 (198 review reads)
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*UPDATE*

Well as any of you who have read my comments, I told you that I told my parents the other night, yes at first they went up the wall when I told them... Tears all round from all of us, shouting the lot...
Well that was Monday night... its now Thursday and things have changed a little they dont talk about the subject and are acting like I never said it, which has to be a good thing!

*UPDATE OVER*

Well, where do I start, what do I say??

If anyone has read my profile you'll probably have worked out that I am in a fact a lesbian, yes thats a real life one by the way!!! I always get asked that if I go to a club or something "excuse me are you real?" what kind of a question is that!! lol


Am I really gay??
This is something I discovered pretty early in my life, in fact I think I have always known right from being tiny! I probably even fancied Mini Mouse or Barbie...

Anyway while I was at primary school it wasn't really a thing I thought about, I mean at that age you dont really... but now I look back I can see the foundations forming... I never wanted a boyfriend even thought all my friends had them... I just wasn't into all that...

Then I moved up to my secondary school and well things started to change. From the age of about 11 I kind of knew about me, but nooooo I couldn't be gay, no ones gay... but damn this was hard work, all this saying to my self noooooo was being fought by my silly little school crushes that we all have... but mine were a little different they were all on girls!

By the time I was 15 I was almost 100% sure that I was far from straight, but for some reason I started seeing a guy at school probably because I felt like I had to, twas a big mistake, the guy was my best friend and here was me going out with my best friend and lying to him.... everything about me was a lie, I loved him as a friend yeh but nothing else.

I
fancied woman and there was Nothing I could do about it!

No one knew this, and God how was I gonna tell anyone.... I couldn't but, but, but, I had to, I was lying to all my friends and I couldn't take much more.

Well.... me and my so called boy friend lasted all of about 4 days... I couldn't stand it and well he knew something was wrong. At the time I had been speaking to someone else, a girl... this is when I knew that everything had to change..... and wow did it change!!!

The first person I told was my other best friend, it was one afternoon when we were on a lunch break at school, we were just talking and that was it, I said ummm Nat ive got something to tell ya... lol well that was it really....

She already knew!!!! OMG how could she know... HOW??? ad never told anyone but she knew all right. She told she had known for a while but didn't want to say anything. I was very shocked by this but sooo sooo sooo relived, it felt like I had won the lottery or something... I felt so much better we talked about it for ages and it was great, she was so cool about it.... That was a great day!!

Well one person knew... I was now about 16... and doing GCSE's.. I cant remember the exact day but little did I know what was gonna happen that day....

My secret, my big secret that had took me sooo much courage and so much heartache was finally going to be out....
I remember it was the afternoon and I was walking through school and it was different... people were looking at me... and then someone came up to me and said 'is it true?' I was like, ' is what true?' and then they asked me ' are you a lesbian?'

I was so shocked by this, how the hell did they know? No one knew other than Nat and I trusted her so much to keep it to her self.... Later on that day I found out that Nat had told someone another very close friend of mine, who I didn't mind knowing but d
idn't expect what I got....
Apparently I had been the talk of one of their lesion... and someone had stood up and said 'Yes we all know Michelle is a lesbian, and if you didn't know, then you do now'

Within a week the whole school knew and were asking me.... but this was not a bad thing I found.... I started getting more and more people talking to me, people started to give me more respect because of the way it had got out and how I was dealing with it...
They were so impressed by how open I had been and how brave of me it was. People who never spoke to me were now talking to me and being great.

This was one of the best things in my life, I gained so much more confidence and I changed into a different person, I grew stronger in myself, I started to know what I wanted and felt like I could tell the world about me. I was so happy, a little scared sometimes but I knew I had some of the best friend ever and I could always turn to them.

Now I am 18 and almost everyone I know knows about me, they are all so happy because I am happy with who I am and what I am.
As far as girlfriends have gone, well I have had some pretty bad ones! al just put it like that but now I have met someone who is everything to me....
I still get a few people saying to me 'how can you love a girl' and its like whats the difference?? What does it matter if the person you love is male or female... am not one of these people who preach, and am not really into the whole gay rights kindda stuff... I just wanna be with the one I love and if that is the case then I dont see a problem. ... unfortunately some people do but everyone's choices are there own....

Well, I dont see this as much use to anyone really, other than to say, if you were like me and scared of telling people, then just tell the people that matter afterall it doesn't really have anything to do with anyone what you are.

I think I went through it
the hard way, having people come up to me and ask was very shocking especially at school when I was only 16, it wasn't all plain sailing I did get the comments and I always will, some people in this world will never be able to accept it, but I accept that.


Thanks for reading :D

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